I Know He Watches Me Part Three
by Scooplet
Summary: As Sarah and Matt begin their life together, the new season of their lives becomes bittersweet as they (and her family) must adapt to the rigors and challenges of Sarah's new job. Lee and Amanda struggle with the fine balance of supporting their daughter and desiring to protect her as she follows in their footsteps. Final part of a three-part story.
1. Chapter 1

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me. Music lyrics from "His Eye is on the Sparrow" by Civilla D. Martin.

 _Note on this story:_ thank you for the many kind reviews and messages I have received for Parts One and Two of _I Know He Watches Me_. As I conclude this story and bring an end to this story arc, I want to thank you for your support. It has been a great pleasure to write these stories for you, fellow fans of _Scarecrow and Mrs. King_.

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I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter One

 _I sing because I'm happy,_

 _I sing because I'm free_

 _For His eye is on the sparrow,_

 _And I know He watches me._

 _Late April 2012_

From the way the light seeped through the closed blinds of their bedroom, Matt knew it must be mid-morning. He reached out towards Sarah's side of the bed, but he already had sensed she was not there. Grabbing his phone to check the time as he sat up, he could not believe how late it was. He had not slept like this since he had gotten the flu in college.

They had gone to bed much earlier than usual the night before, but despite their fatigue, Matt and Sarah had talked for a little while. Matt could not even remember all of their conversation, but they had both been glad to lie in their own bed together, wrapped in one another's arms.

The sound of feminine voices drifted up from downstairs and through the closed door. Listening for a moment, he grinned to himself. Sarah must be feeling better, at least emotionally. She sounded animated. Then he heard her join in when his mother laughed.

The sound of Sarah's laughter seemed to lift the cloud that Matt had felt hanging over him since Sarah had first shown signs of miscarrying their baby a week ago. He glanced at her side of the bed, then stared at the carpeting as he got up and made his way to the bathroom. He had been so tired the night before, it had barely registered in his mind that the bathroom had been cleaned. Now he really looked around. There was no trace of blood, nothing to indicate that Sarah had had her terrible experience just a few days before. In fact, the towels that Matt was sure he had ruined or lost at the hospital had been replaced. Nearly new, they had been wedding shower gifts. Matt had not had the time to find rags—he had grabbed what was nearby. The towels on the racks and in the linen cupboard looked as if they had just come from the store—but they were soft and smelled like laundry detergent.

After brushing his teeth and changing into some workout clothes, Matt made his way downstairs. Sarah was on the couch, her arms wrapped around her knees and her back propped up by pillows, listening to Sharon. She turned to him and moved to get up when he reached the foot of the stairs, but he motioned for her to stay put. She placed her hands on his shoulders when he bent to kiss her.

"Hey, sleepyhead. I think that's the longest you've slept since we've been married." She scooted over and moved some pillows to make room for Matt to sit in the corner of the couch behind her.

"It's the longest I've slept in years." When he sat down next to Sarah, she leaned back and he wrapped an arm around her. It felt good to hold her like that. He turned to his mother. "Good morning, Mom. Did you sleep well?"

"I slept pretty well."

Knowing that for Sharon, "pretty well" meant not really, Matt grinned over at her as she stood in the kitchen doorway. "Missing Dad? I remember you never slept well when he was out of town."

"I guess that's it." Her eyes shadowed briefly as if that were not the only reason, but soon she was cheerful again. "Sarah told me how to make the smoothies you two like, so I have yours all ready to blend. I also made oatmeal I can warm up."

"Thanks, Mom. I'm starved. It's pretty nice of you to take care of us. I'm feeling spoiled."

"Oh, let me spoil you, son. Sarah told me about all of the things you've done for her."

 _Oh? Like leaving her home by herself when she was about to miscarry?_ The thought came unbidden, making Matt wince. He felt Sarah's hand on his leg, and he looked down at her.

Her expression was questioning, but she did not say anything.

"Thanks, Mom, but it was the least I could do." Eager to change the subject, Matt began asking his mother about his sisters, but before she could answer, the doorbell rang.

As Matt rose and went to the stairs, Sharon called after him, "That's probably Lee and Amanda. They called my phone to see if they could come by." The blender started up.

As he jogged down the stairs, Matt's mind traveled back fleetingly to the night before, when he and Sarah had been alone in bed. He wished they were there again—just the two of them, sharing their thoughts and holding one another. But he scolded himself. If his mom had not been there this morning, Sarah might have been standing in the kitchen for who knows how long making breakfast. Instead, she was chatting happily with his mother while she rested on the couch. And certainly Lee and Amanda had a right to visit with their daughter. He put on his most cheerful face as he reached the front door.

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Matt waited until Lee and Amanda had left and Sarah was taking a nap in their bedroom to bring up the subject of the bathroom with his mother. After helping his wife upstairs and into bed, he came back downstairs to find Sharon preparing dinner in the kitchen. Or rather, several dinners. She looked up from chopping vegetables as Matt surveyed the crowded kitchen counters.

"When you said you were going to get groceries, you weren't kidding. You've got enough here to feed several families, not just Sarah and me." Wishing to give Lee and Amanda some time alone with Sarah, Sharon had graciously ducked out of the house and driven Sarah's car to the store while Matt had worked out and showered.

"Well, I know some of the ladies from your church are bringing meals. These are going in the freezer. I'm making enough so you and Sarah won't have to cook for a couple of weeks." She pointed to the chicken. "That's for lunches. Not all of this is for dinners."

"This is really good of you, Mom."

"It's what moms do, hon."

Matt let that thought sit for a minute. Finally, he ventured, "Like clean up their children's homes? I don't know how you did it, but you can't tell anything happened in our bathroom or bedroom. I'm also guessing you bought us a bunch of new towels."

Sharon glanced up at him briefly, but her eyes went back to her work. "Yes, well… You said something about using towels for Sarah, and I saw a towel or two on the floor. After checking your linen cabinet and seeing several were missing, I figured out you had used the ones from your gift registry. So your dad went out and replaced them. They still have the same ones in the store."

"You cleaned the carpet, too. I'm sorry you had to go to all that trouble."

Sharon put the knife down and came over to her son. She placed her hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "I wanted to do it for you and Sarah. I can't imagine what it was like to find her like that, but I know what it's like, losing a baby. You went through so much last fall, and I couldn't be here to help you. It was the least I could do to lessen the trauma of things. You didn't need the reminder."

Nodding, Matt could not form a verbal reply. Instead he wrapped his arms around his mother and hugged her tight.

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Lee was attempting to concentrate on the computer screen late that afternoon, but his eyes kept going to Amanda, who was typing away on her own computer. Finally, she glanced over her reading glasses at him. "What's going on in that mind of yours, Stetson?" Her face softened. "Are you thinking about Emily?"

He picked up the pencil on his desk and began playing with it. "No. Not at the moment. Although I talked with Margaret a half an hour ago. Emily's been lucid today. She might be rallying a little."

"The doctor warned us not to get too excited if she did. People often do that shortly before the end."

"I know." He flipped the pencil around distractedly. "I was just thinking about the kids."

"Which ones? The grandkids?"

"You know. Sarah and Matt."

Amanda glanced at her computer screen and clicked her mouse. She looked back up at Lee. "It's pretty nice that Sharon could stay with them. Sarah would have been in that hospital another night. Just being home really seemed to boost her spirits."

"It's a miracle she's alive. If Matt hadn't gotten home when he did…" Lee grew silent and his eyebrows knit together.

"You know, something is eating at him. He's avoiding us, and he seems so tense when he is in the room." Amanda tapped her fingers on the desk. "He's got all the classic signs of feeling guilty for something, but I can't imagine what that could be. Phillip said he coordinated an operation from home so he could be with Sarah when she started feeling ill. It was the Kazakhs, of all people. Then he stayed for debriefing, even though he was anxious to get home—"

"A-man-da!"

Startled, Amanda glanced at Lee, who was rolling his eyes at her. "Oh, sorry. It's the jet lag. Makes me ramble. What was your point?"

"You're right about something eating at Matt, but it isn't his work responsibilities. I think he's doing the same thing I used to do when you were in trouble." Lee waited for a glimmer of recognition on Amanda's face.

It was soon apparent as she uttered, "He blames himself. For the miscarriage?"

"Or not being there when he thought he should be there."

"But why won't he talk to us?"

"This is all a guess, but maybe he feels he let us down, too."

Amanda stood, came over to Lee's side, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I remember calling your mother when you were shot…" He shook his head as if he were trying to clear the memory from his brain. "Listen, I got past it, but Matt's younger than I was. We're different in some ways. He's got this sense of duty that won't stop."

"We should talk with him."

"Yeah. I'll start working on him tomorrow. They don't need us visiting again today. Sarah's supposed to be sleeping a lot."

"Francine called me. She's worried that Wong is going to pester Sarah about coming in too soon."

"It's almost the weekend."

"Next week."

"That guy is a piece of work."

"Well, she didn't want us to get our hopes up yet, but she's got a plan."

Lee arched an eyebrow. "Really? That's the first good news I've heard all week."

"But she says we'll have to be patient."

His eyebrow returned to normal and he deflated a little. "Oh."

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"Listen, Matt. You can just say no. You don't owe this Sergey fellow anything. I mean, he seems like a nice guy, but he has been mixed up in trouble since you've known him. Stay home with Sarah."

Under normal circumstances, Matt would not be sitting at home, talking about a case over the phone with Phillip. In fact, Phillip would not have been handling the logistics for him. But Matt felt no guilt about being home with Sarah, and he was grateful to his brother-in-law for covering for him where Rene could not.

But Sergey was still a concern. "Rene told me on the phone that he's worried about the Guatemalans now." Matt sat down on the freshly made bed, half listening to the shower in the next room. He had awakened before Sarah, and because of the early hour, he had remained in bed. Giving up on sleep, he had been content to lie there, listening to his wife's even breathing. Even though he had gone to bed after her, sometime during the night, Sarah had snuggled up against him, and he was grateful for her closeness. It made him think they might get back to normal someday, whatever normal was.

When Rene had called twenty minutes earlier, Sarah had awakened and gone to the bathroom to shower. Now the sound was reminding him of how he had found her slumped there. He forced himself to concentrate on the conversation.

"Yeah, well. I guess he freaked out when Fisk told him he needed to be more worried about the cartel than the other Kazakhs. Now he doesn't trust us and wants to run."

"Why was Fisk there, anyway?"

"Fisk is willing to pull night duty."

"Why doesn't he just go back to Atlanta to be near his family? He must have kids." When he said the words, Matt felt a twinge. But it was not as painful as watching the couple bring home their baby from the hospital.

"I guess the wife moved the kids to Virginia when she got the job with ATF. He can pick them up after school if he works a late shift—or take them to school in the morning. Something like that. But you didn't call to talk about Fisk."

"It sounds like Sergey just needs some reassurance. But you're right, Phillip. I shouldn't leave. I'll give him a call."

The bathroom door opened and a moment later Matt felt a hand on his shoulder. He must not have heard the water shut off. He turned to face Sarah, who was standing next to the bed, wrapped in a towel. Phillip was saying something, but Matt found himself distracted by his wife. Her color was coming back, and she no longer looked as frail as she had in the hospital. He started to reach for her and stopped himself. _Get a grip, idiot. She's still recovering from surgery and your mother is in the house._

"Matt! Are you still there?"

Rushing to cover for himself, Matt replied, "Hold on, Phillip. Sarah wants to say something."

She spoke up quickly. "I just caught the tail end of the conversation. You're telling Phillip about what Rene told you? You're going to the safe house, right?"

"No, I'm not leaving you home alone. You just got out of the hospital a couple of days ago."

"Your mom is here."

"She's going out with your mom for lunch, remember?"

"My dad was planning to come. He can make his phone calls or whatever from here. I'll take a nap or read."

With Phillip waiting on the phone, Matt could not argue with Sarah. He did not want to leave her. The last time he had left her at home because of work, he had almost lost her. Despite her improvement, she was still recovering. But there were plenty of people to keep an eye on her and Sergey might be on the verge of endangering himself.

He brought the phone back to his ear. "Phillip, can you notify the safe house that I'm going to pay a visit around one o'clock?"

Sarah was back in the bathroom, drying her hair, when Matt finished the call. Standing there in a bra and exercise pants, she seemed thinner than usual. He felt his throat constrict when he saw how flat her stomach was once again. She may not have been obviously showing when she was fully dressed, but he had not been blind to the difference three months of pregnancy had made in her figure. In fact, it had made her even more attractive to him. Now it was as if she had never been pregnant at all. Her pale skin stood out against the black pants and her dark hair. She was just as lovely as ever, but it hurt to look at her if he began to think too much.

She turned off the dryer and put it away, and then looked at him questioningly when she realized he was still there, leaning on the doorjamb.

Forcing himself to be cheerful, he said, "Thanks for that. For giving me the freedom to go help Sergey."

Sarah smiled at him in that way she always did when she caught him watching her in the bathroom. It was good to see her smile. But she seemed to sense his tension and instead of putting the hair dryer down and wrapping her arms around him as she usually would have done, she went into the closet for a shirt, raising her voice a little so he could still hear her. "It might be work, but you need to get out of the house. You've been cooped up in a hospital or in the townhouse for days."

Matt opened his mouth to protest, but stopped. She was right—he was feeling a bit squirrely from all the confinement. Perhaps Sarah was hoping to have a little break from his constant company, too.

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Fatigued after her shower, Sarah was content to lie back down on the bed while Matt lifted weights and ran on the treadmill. She wished she could go to the exercise room and sit while Matt worked out, but it was hard to go up and down stairs. Lying there, unable to go back to sleep, she felt an ache in her chest and her eyes stung—a feeling that seemed to come regularly in the last week. While she tried to be cheerful for Matt and Sharon, it did not take much for the tears to threaten to come.

When she heard Sharon leave the guest room, she got up and ventured downstairs. By the time she made it to the landing, she was growing dizzy. She clutched the railing for a moment and closed her eyes.

"Sarah! Let me help you."

She felt more than saw as Sharon put an arm around her shoulders and guided her to the couch. Sharon waited until Sarah was settled before she asked, "Did you have a dizzy spell? I saw you swaying there."

"Yeah, I guess so. I was up for a while taking a shower."

"Well, you're learning your limits. I'll bring you breakfast here. Just stay put." A few moments later, a glass of water appeared over Sarah's shoulder. "Drink this while you're waiting. Sip it."

"Everything okay here?" Matt was still breathing hard and his skin was glistening with sweat as he came up into the living room carrying a towel. He looked sharply at Sarah.

She was relieved when Sharon spoke up first. "Everything is fine. If you want to grab a quick shower, I'll have breakfast ready soon."

"Oh, Mom. I can make a couple of smoothies. You don't have to slave in there all the time."

"Nonsense. I know the recipe. Besides, I have a surprise planned to go with."

Matt smiled at his mother and stepped over to Sarah. He swiped the towel at his face and then leaned over gingerly to kiss Sarah on the forehead, but she moved her face so their lips could touch.

The kiss did not last long, as Matt pulled quickly away. "Hey, I'll get you all sweaty." He turned to go upstairs and called over his shoulder. "I'll be back in twenty."

Feeling that ache once again in her chest, Sarah watched him go. Guessing it must be postpartum emotions, she tried to brush off the sense of insecurity she felt over Matt's reaction to her kiss.

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"But Agent Granger, there will be a baby soon." Seated on one of the couches in the safe house living room, Sergey grew agitated and leaned forward to make his point.

Matt was painfully aware of the need to protect the pregnant Yana. If only he could have done something to prevent Sarah's miscarriage and the loss of their baby. He pushed his feelings down and concentrated on Sergey.

"I'm aware of that, Sergey. And call me Matt."

"Matt." Sergey paused, as if to think of the words he needed. His English was very good, but he still struggled with the language at times. "We cannot have Yana in danger. If I leave, the Guatemalans will not know what happened to me. Yana and Alexei can go somewhere else."

Glancing about the room, Matt had to agree that the tiny, rundown bungalow lacked the appeal of the townhouse that he and Sarah had shared the previous fall. That had been an extravagance only Lee could have finagled. The small, older home in need of renovations on a quiet street not far from the airport would be crowded once three adults and a baby were living there. As it was, the floor plan had been cramped further by the addition of a security post in a separate part of the house, where the surroundings could be monitored and agents could remain on duty without infringing on the occupants' privacy. Despite the humble nature of the living arrangements, it was a boon for Sergey, as it was provided at no cost to a foreign national who had nearly committed a federal offense.

"Sergey, you don't understand the kind of protection you are being offered. You are throwing away the gift of security. We will keep you here, in a safe place, until your legal issues are settled. Yana and Alexei can join you here before the baby comes. You should be able to leave for a new home far away from D.C. by the summer."

"But what about the Guatemalans? They will follow us."

"They have other concerns, Sergey. You will have new identities. You'll be able to work and live without people guarding you all the time."

"And we will never see our families again."

"Not for some time. But they will be safe." Matt remembered the thugs from the restaurant in Almaty. They had probably been the ones to purchase the drug that had nearly killed him. "If you're thinking about your cousins, we both know they have their own network of protection." He stood. "I need to get back to my wife. I've been gone too long already."

"You will come again? When Yana and Alexei are here? We should meet your wife."

Matt was ready with an excuse—it was against procedure for him to make any more visits. Additionally, Sarah had enough going on without rubbing shoulders with Kazakhs who were in trouble. Besides, he did not want to mix business with family. He had not told them about the baby or the miscarriage, but had made a vague excuse for his abbreviated visit by saying she was home recovering from surgery. Yet he felt responsible in some way for these three people who were likely never to see their homeland again. It was likely that Yana and Alexei would be debriefed at the Agency.

"I cannot come back here, Sergey. It puts you at risk, for one thing. Perhaps we can see each other again somehow." He reached out to shake Sergey's hand. "I wish you all the best."

"My best to your wife."

Matt nodded at Sergey and signaled to the camera by the door so he could begin the procedure for leaving the safe house. After being checked out the back door and snaking through two backyards, Matt finally reached the Charger and headed for home.


	2. Chapter 2

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Two

Weary from his conversation with Sergey, Matt trudged up the stairs of the townhouse. He knew that part of his fatigue could be blamed on the emotional distress he had undergone that week with Sarah. While working out helped, his heart was heavy, and he could not shake the feeling that was partly guilt and partly grief over their loss. Matt knew that it would take time to overcome the grief, but he wondered how long it would take before Lee and Amanda blamed him for the near loss of their daughter. What if something had happened to Amanda when she gave blood? Or Phillip? He felt sick that Sarah had been lying helpless in the shower so long. If only he had been home. She might not have needed any blood transfusions. There would have been no ICU.

He reached the top of the stairs and heard quiet voices coming from the floor above. He recognized the soft voice of his wife, occasionally answered by a man's rumble. Lee's BMW was not in the parking lot outside, so he guessed that his mother and Amanda had not yet returned. He continued up the second flight of stairs.

"Sarah?"

It was Lee who answered. "In here, Matt."

He reached the door of the master bedroom and saw Sarah curled up on the bed under a blanket. The chair from the desk on the landing had been pulled into the room, and Lee sat in it, a computer perched on his lap. He regarded Matt with a somewhat guilty expression.

"I know. I know. She's supposed to be sleeping."

Sarah adjusted the pillows and sat up a little so she could see Matt. "But I couldn't sleep, so Daddy came in here to sit with me. I'm keeping him from his work."

"Nonsense. I checked all my emails, so we were having a little fun surfing the web for movie ideas." He turned to Matt and offered a conspiratorial smile. "I came in here so Sarah would lie down. It's just like the old days when she would get sick and Amanda would be at her wit's end, trying to get this girl to rest."

Ignoring her father, Sarah continued her train of thought. "Daddy wants to come over and watch movies while you're at work next week, so we're picking a few out."

Matt tried to hide his surprise. Of course Lee and Amanda would be spending time alone with Sarah next week. He could not stay home forever. Sarah did not expect him to. His mother would be leaving early on Monday. It would be good for Lee and Amanda to be with Sarah during the day. The longer she stayed home and rested and had some help around the house, the healthier she would be when she did return to work.

He did his best to offer a genuine smile. "I hate to put you and Amanda out, Lee. You have your own work to do."

Lee looked sharply at Matt, but his response good-humored. "I'm semi-retired, remember? But no one is kicking you out of your house. We can just come for a little while in the afternoons if you want to start slow going back to work."

Knowing that his father-in-law meant well, Matt still felt an irrational twinge of guilt that they were not expecting him to stay home with Sarah. He directed his gaze at her. "There's a doctor's appointment scheduled for Tuesday morning. I was planning to take you, Sarah."

Her eyebrows knit together, her expression bemused. "I was kind of hoping you would. But if you need to work, honey, you don't need to stay with me."

Matt leaned up against the wall. Maybe it would be good for him to make himself scarce. If he could work, it would help him forget. And Sarah could have people around who did not remind her of the miscarriage. She was still carrying unreasonable guilt about it—before he had left that morning, she had pulled him aside and had once again apologized for losing the baby. "I might go into work Tuesday afternoon. And I should be there Monday morning." He turned to Lee. "Maybe you could come in the morning on Monday and on Tuesday afternoon."

Satisfied with the arrangements so far, Lee smiled and closed his laptop. "It's settled then. We'll start with Monday morning." He elbowed Matt as he stood up. "I think Amanda might be willing to make another meatloaf, too."

Matt smiled a little more genuinely as he reached for the chair so he could take it back out to the desk. "Well, in that case…"

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Curled up on the couch with a book after her parents had left, Sarah could hear Matt and his mother talking in the kitchen, but she did not really listen to what they were saying. Unable to concentrate on her reading, she stared out the window, watching the rain, which had begun to fall an hour earlier, as it made tracks down the glass. Her thoughts drifted to her husband.

It had been obvious that her father was trying to figure out what was eating Matt. Certainly she had been wondering. When he had smiled at her father over the arrangements for the coming week, it had not reached his eyes. Sarah knew Matt was troubled. Sometimes he was his usual self—the way he had gazed at her in the bathroom was a pleasant reminder of the normal Matt. She enjoyed it when he let her know with a look that he found her attractive. She had considered going into his arms, but this morning he had closed down almost immediately and the moment had been gone. He had been right. She still needed to heal for a few more weeks. But did that mean no embracing?

Still, there was a niggling sense that Matt had something on his mind that he was afraid to share with her. He had denied more than once that he believed she was responsible for the loss of their baby. Matt was a kind man and a devoted husband. He would never tell her that she had been careless with her health and their baby's—even if he thought it.

And then there was the awkward way he acted around her parents. If only she could talk with him.

"Penny for your thoughts." Matt watched her face as he sat down next to her.

His timing made it seem as if Matt did indeed know her thoughts. But this was neither the time nor the place. Sharon, who was being kind enough to make their dinner, would be able to hear their conversation. She kept her voice low. "I was thinking of staying up a little later tonight. Maybe you could come to bed when I do."

Matt's expression was doubtful. "You already look tired, Sarah. And you need to recover for a few weeks." He glanced significantly in the direction of the kitchen and seemed a little embarrassed.

Had he misunderstood her? "Of course. I just thought we could talk."

"Oh." Matt seemed relieved. "Well, you didn't get much of a nap this afternoon. I'll come up while you get ready for bed."

True to his word, after Matt helped his mother with the dinner dishes, he accompanied Sarah upstairs. He shut the door and followed Sarah through the bedroom to the bathroom, where he leaned up against the doorjamb. "I'm sorry we haven't had much time alone, sweetie."

"Your mom has been a big help. It was probably nice having her shoulder to lean on. I was pretty worried about you in the hospital."

Matt's eyes widened. "Worried about me? You were the one who was in critical condition for a while there." He picked up his own toothpaste and they brushed their teeth together in silence.

Sarah did not try to apologize for worrying Matt. She knew he would not hear of it. In the closet, Sarah took off the workout clothes she had been wearing that day and pulled a tank top over her head. As she stepped into her pajama bottoms, she realized that Matt was not watching her. Instead, he stared at the floor intently. Perhaps this was why he had not been coming upstairs with her at night. He would walk into the room after she was in bed and kiss her forehead or her cheek.

She slid between the sheets and patted the bed beside her. "Could you lie down with me for a minute?"

Matt hesitated briefly, but he nodded and after kicking off his shoes, joined her on the bed. Remaining on top of the blanket, he scooted close to her and slipped one hand under the covers so he could run it along her arm. When she rolled on her side, he tucked his legs in behind hers, spoon fashion, just as they had done many nights. "You want to talk?"

"I was just going to ask you the same thing."

"Ask me to talk? About what?"

After sending up a brief prayer, asking for the right words, Sarah ventured, "You seem to have something on your mind when my parents are around. You were the same way with Phillip and Amy, too."

The hand caressing Sarah's arm stilled. It took so long for him to answer that Sarah wondered if he had drifted off. When he did answer, his voice was quiet. "I didn't mean to be rude."

"Oh! I didn't mean to imply you were. I'm just… You don't seem your usual self." This was not going well. Of course he was not his usual self. "I mean you seemed uncomfortable around them."

Still snuggled up with her on the bed, Matt stiffened and answered slowly, "I guess I'm just having trouble processing everything." He kissed her hair and relaxed a little. "I need to work through it all. Just give me some time."

Turning over to face him, Sarah brought a hand to her husband's cheek. "I cried about the baby today. That's why Daddy came into the room. I guess he heard me."

He covered her hand with his and his eyes were soft when he responded, "I'm sorry I wasn't here."

 _He's such a good man. Surely he must blame me for losing our baby, but he never says it._ She felt a pang at the thought and swallowed back the urge to cry again. "You don't have to be there every time I cry. I guess it just takes time to get over all of this."

"I'm still pretty sad about the baby, too. My mom did say it takes a while." Matt stroked her hair and kissed her before drawing her to him. They lay like that, her head tucked under his chin, for some time before he finally pulled away. "You need to get some sleep. I hope you don't mind if I go back downstairs and play a few hands of cards with my mom."

"Of course. It's still early for you and you don't have much more time to spend with her before she leaves."

Matt kissed her again and adjusted the covers for her before he rose from the bed. "I'll be back in a little while. Love you."

"Love you, too."

After Matt closed the door quietly behind him, Sarah lay there, forcing herself to stay awake and consider his words. He had mostly avoided her question, blaming his distant behavior on the stress he had gone through. But Sarah knew it was more than that. Somewhat offended initially at the thought that Matt had not felt comfortable confiding in her, she chided herself. He had been sweet to her just then. And perhaps he was still trying to process whatever feelings were causing his strange behavior. If he really was angry with her—at least deep down—did she really want to know? Was she ready to face the certainty of having disappointed Matt in a way that could affect the rest of their marriage?

This time the tears did come, but Sarah, curled into a fetal position, turned into her pillow so Matt and Sharon would not hear her.

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"So, did you get a chance to talk to Matt?" Amanda placed the last utensil in the dishwasher, shut the door, and pressed the start button. She plunged her hands into the full sink of dishwater and began scrubbing the measuring cup that had been soaking.

"No."

The timer on the oven began to chime.

"Could you please take the muffins out for me?"

Lee placed the mitts on his hands, stepped over to the oven, and pulled out the muffin tin. "These for the kids?" Placing the hot pan on top of the stove, he removed the mitts and leaned down to breath in the aromatic steam rising from the muffins. "Mmm. Pumpkin spice."

"Yes and yes. Sarah told me once that they are Matt's favorite. She was going to make him a batch today, but I put the kibosh on that. That girl needs something to do besides read. She's going stir crazy. And she shouldn't be solving the problem by baking."

Lee did not say anything about Amanda staying up late to bake. He imagined it was a good way to work out some of the stress from the last week or two. He watched as she dried her hands on a towel, lifted the muffins from the pan, and took the pan to the sink to wash it.

"She couldn't sleep today. I heard her crying, so I went upstairs. We ended up picking out some movies to watch next week. I guess she and Matt watch a lot of movies using their internet service."

Amanda turned from the sink. "Whoa. Back up there, Scarecrow. Sarah was crying and you went upstairs? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Staring down at his shoes, Lee did not answer right away. "I couldn't let her cry alone. You know I hate it if my girls are upset."

Amanda dried her hands on a towel and wrapped her arms around her husband's waist. "My tough spy has always been sweet that way."

Hugging her back, he rested his chin on her head. "I was a jerk for a long time after we met. But I couldn't stand it when you cried."

Lee did not say anything more right away, but Amanda knew he had something else on his mind. After a few moments, she felt his voice rumble in his chest again. "Thing is, I cried along with her. And it felt good."

"Oh, Lee…" She hugged him tighter. "This would have been the first Stetson grandchild."

"Yeah, that's upsetting, and that was part of it for both of us. I didn't really lose it until she apologized for worrying everyone. The poor kid is carrying so much guilt around. But the thing is, she did almost die. We almost lost her, Amanda. And this wasn't the first time in the last several months."

Without looking at his face, Amanda could tell Lee was crying again. She nodded against his chest but did not say anything. She ran her hands over his back to comfort him. "I love you, big fella. I'm glad you were there for Sarah. It sounds like you needed each other today."

"I need you, too, Amanda." He kissed the top of her head. "And Sarah needs to talk about this stuff with Matt. Hopefully she did tonight." He pulled away and took her hands in his. "At least we had some good news today. I have a gut feeling things might be turning around with Emily. At least I hope so."

After giving his hands a squeeze, Amanda stepped away. She pulled a clean dish towel from the drawer and covered the muffins. "I think you're right, after Margaret's call today."

Lee glanced around at the now clean kitchen and set the alarm. "Can we go upstairs and forget about everything for a little while?"

Instead of answering Lee, Amanda reached for the light switch and went to give him a kiss on the cheek. He took her hand to lead her through the darkened den and up the stairs.

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It was difficult for Matt to remember the last time he had dreaded going into work. Sometimes his work was stressful, but even when it was not particularly enjoyable, he at least felt that he was helping to protect his country. That feeling gave him a great degree of satisfaction.

But today he did not feel that satisfaction. His wife came before his work now, and he did not like leaving her at home while she was still recuperating from losing their baby. Yes, her parents were with her, ensuring that she was resting and recovering physically, but he was worried about her emotional recovery. Although he had spent time talking with her and comforting her when she had gone to bed Saturday night, it was obvious she had been crying before she fell asleep. When he had come into the room an hour and a half later, he could see by the light from the bathroom that there were tearstains on her cheeks. When he had felt her pillow, it was damp. She had seemed so small and fragile, curled into a ball under the covers. His chest hurt again at the thought.

Then, he had found her crying in their bedroom again yesterday. That time he had been there to hold her in his arms, but soon after Sarah had calmed down, Sharon had called them to dinner. It had been his mother's last night in town, and they could not leave her waiting for them to join her.

Sarah had told him that she was still mourning the loss of their baby. That was normal—to be expected. He felt the same way. But this was more than that. He had sensed there was more to her sorrow when she had talked about being upset. Something was eating at Sarah, but he was at a loss to know what else could be bothering her.

Although she had encouraged him to go on the op, could she be upset that he was not there when she started hemorrhaging? Certainly he was upset with himself. He wondered if he would ever forgive himself for letting down his precious wife like that. He should never have left her alone that day. The operation was a piece of cake. Nothing went wrong. They had not needed him. Not really. Sergey liked Phillip. He would have opened up to him whether Matt had been there or not.

After pulling the Charger into a parking space in the Agency garage, Matt turned off the engine and sat there for a moment. He checked his phone. The text that had just come through was from his mother. After reading it, he bowed his head. His prayer said, he stared across the garage for a moment. A frown formed on his face as his mother's words, spoken as they drove to the airport that morning, came back to him.

" _Matt, I should have brought this up sooner, but I'm concerned about Sarah."_

 _He had glanced at Sharon, surprised. "Me, too. She's been so upset. It's more than losing the baby."_

" _It's not for me to speculate on what she's thinking, but you two need to keep talking. It will be good for you to have some time alone together. As much as I was glad to help out, I was a third wheel."_

" _Mom—"_

 _Sharon had placed a hand on his arm. "Hear me out, Matt. You both were more than hospitable and I enjoyed getting to know Sarah better. I just wish it had been under different circumstances."_

" _But…"_

" _But one of the things I learned was that Sarah is very stressed about work. So stressed it might be harming her health." Matt knew that his mother wondered if Sarah's schedule at work might have contributed to her having the miscarriage. Matt thought the same thing._

 _She went on. "I know she's been doing some kind of training—something you people have to do. But will it be over soon? Is there any way for her to do something less stressful? I thought Sarah was going to be more of a research person."_

It had been frustrating for Matt to reply to that concern. He had thought the same thing, and certainly Sarah had. Matt did not like to harbor anger towards others or hold grudges, but it was hard for him not to be angry at Richard Wong for the way he had treated his wife over the last several months. Matt stopped himself just short of blaming Richard Wong for his wife's miscarriage. The doctor had said that they could not be certain why it had happened or why it had gone so badly. But Matt felt certain that the stress Sarah had been under had been a factor. And he only had himself to blame for not being there when it had happened.

With the heel of his hand he pounded the dashboard of the Charger, feeling the sting in his palm and jarring his shoulder.

"Hey, Man. You trying to break a bone or wreck your precious wheels?"

Flustered and embarrassed now, Matt took a deep breath before looking through the window at Rene. He opened the door. "Just letting off steam."

"You want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Is Sarah okay?"

"Sarah's fine. She's home resting, thank God." Matt took another breath and stepped out of the car, adjusting his shoulder holster as he did so. "Lee and Amanda are staying with her until I get home."

"That's good. You must have left your place pretty early this morning." Rene's brow furrowed as he fell into step beside Matt. "Your mom get off okay?"

"Yeah. She's already at her gate at Dulles."

"So, what's eating you?"

"Enriquez, I don't want to talk about it." Matt sped up his pace.

"Well, I can guess. It's a certain supervisor by the name of Wong with an unfortunate nickname."

Matt stopped and stared at Rene. "That's pretty crude, Rene. He goes by Richard." He resumed walking. "And I'm going to make you take another elevator if you don't drop the subject."

Rene sighed. "I'm just calling it like I see it. A lot of people blame him for what happened to Sarah. He's lost respect from most of the freshmen."

"That's not my business." Matt reached out and grabbed Rene's arm. His grip was firm. "I'm serious, Rene. This conversation is over. If you really want to help Sarah, you'll stay on Wong's good side for her sake and mine. Okay?"

Rene did not bother to shake off his partner's hand. Matt was stronger than he was, and he knew it. But he turned his other hand palm up. "Okay, bro."

Matt allowed his hand to fall to his side and did not speak to Rene until they were in the elevator. "How is Patti doing?"

"She's fine. Pretty uncomfortable, but it's all normal, I guess." He watched Matt's expression. "Thanks for asking."

Matt started to say something, but stopped. He did not want to be treated with kid gloves, but he had to admit that if he were in Rene's position, he would not be sure what to say, either. As it was, he was afraid to ask about the miscarriage that Patti had experienced a few years ago. He had wanted to talk to Amy and Phillip about the loss of their baby, but he had no idea what to say. Matt was desperate to know if there was some way to help Sarah through the grieving—perhaps he might feel better along the way, too. He had tried to talk with Pastor Carlson, but as helpful as the man was, he had not been through that kind of loss himself.

The doors were about to open. Rene was avoiding his gaze—Matt could not blame him, after he had been so irritable earlier. Rene stepped up to the door, apparently ready to make a beeline for his desk.

"Does it get any easier?"

Rene turned toward Matt.

"I mean, I spent some time talking with Sarah—you know, trying to be comforting—when she went to bed Saturday night, but after I left the room, she cried herself to sleep." Matt ran a hand through his hair and glanced at the wall.

"But you left her alone in bed?"

Matt could sense where the conversation was going as they exited the elevator and stepped out of the hallway traffic. "Yeah. She was sleepy. It was early. I didn't want to leave my mom all alone her last night in town."

"I'm sure Sarah gets that, but she needs to be with you, man. Patti just needed me to be with her. A lot of women are like that, and my guess is Sarah is one of them. You guys are never more than an inch apart when you're hanging at our apartment. Go to bed when your wife goes to bed. She might still cry herself to sleep, but she'll get over it faster if you're there, too."

"We've hardly had a minute alone. It was great having my mom there, but…"

"But you need some time to yourselves. I get that." He glanced at his watch. "Listen, we have about three hours' worth of work to do—a couple of reports. I can finish the background checks this afternoon after you leave—it's just desk work. Let's make sure you get home to your wife by lunchtime."

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Stretching his legs out in front of him, Lee eyed his daughter. She seemed engrossed in the movie they were watching. Normally he would be engrossed, too, but he had seen the movie before and he knew the operative-turned-fugitive would make it to safety. But that was not the real reason he was distracted. He was not used to sitting home on a weekday and watching television. Even Amanda had found a way to keep busy—she was upstairs cleaning the bathroom or changing sheets. Or something.

Lee almost did not register when the loud music and sound effects from the movie suddenly stopped. Turning to Sarah, he realized she was staring at him.

"You know, Daddy, I could just read a book while you catch up on emails. You don't have to watch a movie with me."

"Why would I want to read emails when I could watch Bourne?"

"Because you are a man of action, and Monday mornings are times of action for you. You don't want to _watch_ other people in action."

Lee laughed. As usual, his daughter had read his mind. He was not sure if it was because she was too much like him or too much like her mother, who could also read his mind.

"Honestly, it's driving me crazy to sit here. I would love to go for a run." She stared out the window. "The weather looks perfect."

He smiled knowingly. "And your husband and your mother would pitch fits."

Sarah sighed and looked back at her father. "I would have to sit down after the first block, anyway."

"You'll get your energy back soon, Pumpkin. You already look a lot better. And I didn't have to help you down the stairs."

"I guess so."

Lee reached for the remote. "Let's at least finish this movie."

Sarah stretched her own legs and shifted position as she reached for her cooling tea. "Okay."

Before Lee could press _play_ , his phone buzzed. He grunted in frustration as he fished the phone out of his pocket. "I wonder who's calling me…" His voice drifted off as he saw the caller ID and he quickly answered the call. "Stetson here."

Sarah could tell that it was possibly bad news by her father's posture and expression. She moved to get up from the couch, but he placed his hand on her leg, gesturing for her to stay put. Lee stood and moved up the stairs as he replied to the voice on the other end of the line.

"I see… What time did you say? And she was peaceful? Never woke up?" Lee sighed and ran a hand over his face.

Just then Amanda appeared on the landing. Sarah marveled at her mother's timing. It was as if she knew the call had been coming, even though it was unlikely she had been able to hear the phone buzz from upstairs.

Seeing his wife there, Lee held out his hand. Amanda took it and followed Lee back down the stairs slowly, listening to Lee's end of the conversation.

"How is Margaret taking things?" Lee wrapped his arm around Amanda's waist. "At the end of the week, you say? No, you don't have to make arrangements for us, I'm sure we can—" Lee sighed again as he listened. "That's very generous, Tristan. She was a great lady. Always thinking of others. Yes. That would be best. I don't think we can leave our daughter until Thursday at the earliest. Thank you. My condolences to you, too." Lee ended the call and looked down at Amanda for a moment before they embraced.

From her vantage point on the couch, Sarah marveled at her parents' ability to communicate without speaking. Yes, it was obvious what had transpired during the call, but there had been much more than that between her parents just now.

Sarah thought of sneaking up the stairs in order to give her parents some privacy, but sensing her plans, Lee stopped her again.

"No, Sarah. You need to rest." He sat down on the couch as Amanda went to the guest bathroom to retrieve some tissues. She joined Lee and Sarah on the sofa.

"We knew this was coming. Emily is no longer feeling the aches and pains of aging." Amanda blew her nose and leaned against Lee.

His arm came around her shoulders and he drew her into a closer embrace. "That's right."

"I'm so sorry about Emily, Mom and Daddy. When did it happen? Just now?" Sarah was feeling the loss, too, although not as keenly as her parents.

"About a half an hour ago at most. The funeral isn't until Friday. We can leave Thursday evening. Tristan said he can arrange for us to ride on a diplomatic flight."

"Oh, we could buy tickets…" Amanda protested half-heartedly. Sarah wondered if it was because she did not want to take advantage of a special privilege, or if she was merely sorrowful.

"I told him we couldn't come earlier."

Amanda nodded in agreement.

"Mom, Daddy, why don't you leave earlier—say, Wednesday, or even tomorrow evening? It sounds like Tristan was going to get you an earlier flight, anyway."

Her parents spoke in unison. "We can't leave you like that."

"You're still recovering." Amanda was insistent.

"Emily had some kind of open-ended arrangement going with this flight service. I guess it's a commercial firm that also has a contract with the government, but she already covered the cost."

"Really, Mom and Daddy. You need to go. Maybe Matt can come home early a couple of days. I'll be okay by Friday. Sharon left all of those meals, and we have stuff from the church ladies. Cheryl came by after church yesterday with three casserole dishes."

"Yes, I know. I saw them in the fridge. You have some kind friends at your church." Amanda's mouth was set in a firm line, but Sarah thought she saw wavering in her eyes.

"I'll promise to hang out on the couch. I'm okay on the stairs. And Matt can make my breakfast for me. I'll just have to make my lunch."

Lee opened his mouth to speak, but Amanda beat him to it. "There's your husband to consider, too, sweetheart. He's been through a lot. I don't want him worried sick about you. And he has to go into work."

"I don't want him worried either, Mom. But this is important, too. You need to be there." Sarah sat up straighter as if to prove a point. "Besides, Daddy said I am looking better."

Amanda was silent a moment, so Lee jumped in. "Sarah, you're our daughter, and you need us. Emily won't know the difference if we get there on Wednesday or Friday. She would have insisted we stay with you, if she were still alive."

Sarah was persistent. "At least don't fly out Thursday night. Leave Wednesday evening. Then you'll be there a day early and not have to rush to the funeral. That could be stressful." She eyed them. "You're my parents, and I don't like to think of you at the mercy of traffic, arriving the day of the funeral."

Rolling his eyes, Lee chuckled and gazed over at Amanda. "She has a point—even if she is implying we're getting old and delicate."

"She's as stubborn as you are." The corner of Amanda's mouth tipped upward in a half smile.

"We're all stubborn."

Nodding, Amanda chuckled. "Agreed."

"I'll call Tristan back and move the flight up twenty-four hours." Lee patted Sarah's knee as he stood. "You're going to have to prove to me that I won't regret this, Sarah."


	3. Chapter 3

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Three

Later that evening, as she and Matt were brushing their teeth together, Sarah brought up the subject of her parents' upcoming flight to London. "I know you won't be happy with me, but I talked them into it. They didn't want you worrying about me. I just was concerned about them arriving on a plane only a few hours before the funeral and possibly getting stuck in traffic or something."

Matt did not respond immediately, but Sarah had to remind herself that he was rinsing his mouth. Finally, he said, "I'll talk to Francine about staying home after Wednesday. It's only two days, but I don't want you to have to do anything until next week. This way I can clean or do laundry."

"You don't trust me to leave it be, do you?"

Matt smiled crookedly, but did not reply.

Sarah pursed her lips and sighed heavily. "Okay, you've got me there. I just don't want your work to pile up at the Agency."

"I can do some stuff here." He went into the closet and began changing into his pajamas. "Besides, I want to be with you." He came back, wearing only his sweatpants, and kissed Sarah lightly on the cheek before he went back to finish his task.

Sarah joined him in the closet, but noticed he looked away once again as she undressed for bed. The now-familiar pang was there in her chest, but she tried to ignore it. "I expect you'll go down and watch the rest of the baseball game or the news?"

Matt looked at Sarah now, his eyebrows raised. "Why, no. I'm going to bed, too."

"But it's early—"

Matt brought his arms around his wife and drew near, speaking against her hair. "I've missed our bedtime routine. You know, the way we talk before we go to sleep."

Resting her head on his shoulder, Sarah reveled in their closeness, despite the slight tension she sensed in Matt. She knew there was more to their routine than simply talking at night, but after all, _that_ was out of the question. She was still recovering. "I've missed it, too."

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They had not waited long for the doctor. It seemed to Matt that they had taken a back hallway to the treatment room, so they had seen few other patients. Until it was time to leave. They left the same way they had come, but in the parking lot, there had been two pregnant women making their way to the office entrance.

"We'll have to get used to this," Sarah said after they were seated in the Volvo.

"What?" Matt was hoping Sarah had not noticed the women.

"Seeing pregnant women. After all, I should go to Patti's shower. And there will always be babies around us. Patti and Rene's baby is due next month." Sarah sighed and turned to the window.

He reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. "This has to get easier, beloved."

Turning to Matt, Sarah swiped away a tear with her other hand. "You're right. Dr. Elliott said as much. And no wonder I'm feeling better. My blood count was close to normal range."

Matt stroked the top of her hand with his fingers and spoke quietly. "Close to low normal, but you're right. You made it in and out of the building very well."

Sarah put forth an effort to look bright. Perhaps this kind of conversation would bring Matt out of his funk. "Yes. I haven't had a dizzy spell in days, and I still have some energy left after my outing."

Smiling genuinely now, he patted her hand and started the engine. "That's my girl."

Sarah was setting their plates on the table and Matt was pouring iced tea to go with their leftover casserole when they heard a knock downstairs.

Glancing at the clock on the microwave, Sarah's brow furrowed a little. "Oh, my parents are early."

Matt felt himself forcing a smile as Sarah went to let them in the door. He had been looking forward to a meal alone with his wife before going in to work. Now they would have company. _Stop being selfish, Granger_ , he chided himself. _They will be gone in a day or two, and you'll have all the time you want with your wife. Besides, they wouldn't even be here if you hadn't left Sarah to go on that op._

One look at Sarah as she came back up the stairs had him kicking himself all over again. He should have gotten the door. She was winded and pale from rushing downstairs. He forced a smile again. "Hello, Amanda. Hello, Lee."

Amanda surveyed the table and was immediately apologetic. "We've interrupted your lunch." She turned to Lee. "I told you we should have run that errand first."

"No worries. Would you like some lunch, too?" As he spoke, Matt went to Sarah's side and placed an arm around her. She did not resist when he guided her over to the table.

Lee put up a hand. "No thanks. We already ate. Tried that new hoagie place near the mall. I guess I can't eat like I used to. I'm stuffed."

Amanda smirked as they all sat down together at the table. "You could have gotten a half. Or a salad."

He rolled his eyes. "Salad?"

Quickly changing the subject, Amanda watched Sarah as she dipped her fork into her casserole. It appeared to be a chicken and rice dish with a fruit salad on the side. "So, how did your appointment go?"

Sarah glanced over at Matt, as if gauging his expression. "It went well. My numbers are back up. Not normal yet, but getting there. I did pretty well walking from the parking lot all the way to the office and back. I don't feel like an invalid anymore."

"That's great, sweetheart, but you don't want to overdo it. How about taking a nap after lunch and letting me clean up here?" Amanda rose from the table and took Sarah's glass to the kitchen to refill it.

Satisfied that his mother-in-law was observing Sarah's pale color, too, Matt relaxed somewhat. He should be grateful his wife would be in good hands while he was at work. Sarah was not one to sit still, so without Amanda there encouraging her to rest, she would likely have been looking for things to do around the house most of the afternoon. After a few more minutes, Matt's plate was clean and he excused himself to get ready for work.

He was surprised to find that Lee had followed him upstairs. "Hold up a minute, Matt. I want to speak with you."

Judging by Lee's serious expression, Matt was certain the time had finally come for a lecture. Or worse. At the top of the stairs, he waited for Lee to catch up.

Gesturing for them to go into master bedroom, Lee shut the door most of the way once they were inside. Covering his mouth, he belched a little "Sorry." He grimaced. "Oh, God. Don't tell Amanda that hoagie is giving me the worst case of heartburn. I'll hear 'I told you so' until the end of time."

"Uh, no worries. You're secret is safe with me." Furrowing his eyebrows, Matt tried his best to look casual. He was too nervous to laugh at Lee's predicament; this was not the tirade he had expected from his former section chief. Lee was not one to soft pedal things when he was angry. This conversation might influence the tone of his relationship with Lee for years to come—and possibly for the remainder of his marriage. A marriage that he hoped would last for many more years, as long as Sarah did not harbor a longtime resentment against him for abandoning her the day she miscarried. He swallowed and forced out the words, hoping he did not sound as terrified as he felt. "What's up?"

Recovered a little from his digestive distress, Lee was serious, but seemingly as chummy with Matt as he always was. "Look, I've been wanting to talk with you. First of all, I want to make sure everything is okay between us." He paused, as if unsure how to proceed.

 _This is it._ Matt had not really expected Lee to ever come out and say that he and Amanda had resented his carelessness. But rightly or wrongly, during his military days he had taken some heat from senior officers for the conduct of the men serving under him. It was part of life. This time he would deserve whatever was dished out to him. Matt bolstered his courage and gazed at Lee with what he hoped was a respectful expression.

Lee took one look at Matt's face and his hand came up in a frustrated gesture. "See? There it is. Amanda and I have been trying to figure out why you've been so…I don't know…" He began pacing. "You seem to be hanging on to some kind of guilt." Lee stopped and regarded Matt. "And we have no idea why."

Flustered now, Matt did not know how to answer. He turned away as a wave of emotion washed over him. Was it possible that Lee and Amanda had not really comprehended the additional trauma Sarah had gone through because she had been alone when she had collapsed? He found himself staring at the carpet, remembering the blood stains that had led him to his wife, huddled semi-conscious in the shower. Bringing his hand to his face, he leaned against the wall, unable to reply to Lee. He did not want to cry in front of his father-in-law. Since he had been a boy, he had not cried in front of anyone, except his parents and now Sarah. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey." Lee's voice was gentle and fatherly—concerned. "Matt, wherever you are right now, you don't have to do it alone. I'm right here. You're like a son to me. I'm sure it must be hell to lose a child, even through miscarriage."

Matt did not answer right away. Lee waited patiently, his hand still on the younger man's shoulder. Finally, Matt blurted out, "How do you tell your father-in-law that you failed his daughter and it's eating you up?"

Lee's hand moved away from Matt's shoulder. "What are you talking about?"

Turning to Lee, Matt's voice was low, so the women could not hear him downstairs. "I should have been here with Sarah." His throat constricted, the next words coming out in a whisper as he pointed blindly towards the bathroom. "She was just huddled in there, almost dead. If I had been here sooner, she wouldn't have lost as much blood. Surely you're angry with me about that. Amanda had to give blood. Something could have happened to her…" Matt turned away again. "Sarah shouldn't have been pregnant in the first place. I left all the responsibility for that to her." The weight of his confession off of his shoulders, Matt stumbled to the bed and sat down, his back slumped as he stared at the floor.

Lee sat down next to Matt. He sighed, but Matt could not detect any anger in his voice. Instead, there seemed to be a note of sorrow there. "You remind me a lot of a young agent I knew. He took responsibility for another agent he worked with—was in love with, if you want to know the truth. Perhaps too much responsibility."

Wondering if Lee was referring to himself and Amanda, Matt turned to Lee.

"Every time she was in trouble in the field, it would eat him up. One day, she was killed. I was there when it happened. It did something to me, something that took years to undo. In fact, it kept me from opening my heart up to someone new. A wall went up inside, and no one could get past that wall. Not until another woman came along, someone whom I loved even more deeply than Dorothy, did the wall eventually come down."

"Amanda?"

"Yes. But it took years for me to admit how much I cared for Amanda. In the back of my mind, I was terrified of her ending up like Dorothy. I let guilt paralyze me. Think of what would have happened if I had not let Amanda in. There would be no Sarah."

"I hear what you're trying to say, Lee, but was it really your fault that Dorothy was killed?"

"No more so than it was your fault Sarah collapsed in the shower. No one thinks it was your fault."

Scrubbing his face with his hands, Matt was not convinced. "But I know it was my fault she ended up in ICU."

"Even if I agreed with you, does it really matter whose fault it is?" Lee stood and paced a little. "The thing is, we're all human. You were fulfilling your duty to your country—doing your job. I know that Sarah wanted you to be in the field that day. She said so herself. That girl admires you no end."

"It's misplaced. I love Sarah for seeing the good in people, but she refuses to see my faults."

"She is like that—gets it from Amanda. But she's human, too. She's the one who forgot her pills. Whatever family planning you two had or have is between you." He huffed out a small laugh. "Frankly, I don't want to know what it is. The bottom line is that there is no need to blame yourself. No one is blaming you, Matt. Life happens." He smiled sardonically. "But you two may need to come up with a different plan moving forward."

"She can't be working like this when we do start a family." Matt ran a hand through his hair. "Heck, she needs to get a break no matter what we do."

"That was the other thing I wanted to talk with you about. Wong is completely out of line forcing Sarah to work in the field instead of Analysis, and then shipping her out of town. Policy is to take things on a case-by-case basis. Most of the time they just have relatives work in different departments. I've thought several times about going back to Gil Barclay to talk with him about it, but it won't help Sarah if her daddy is fighting her battles."

"Huh. Jamie and Phillip work together all the time. So did you and Amanda."

"Ah. But technically we were in different departments." Lee smiled. "Look. You need to get to the office. Get out of this funk you're in over the guilt thing. We all love you, son. There's nothing to feel guilty about." Lee went to the door and opened it, but he turned back to Matt. "You know, I can't fight Sarah's battles, but there's no reason you can't help her fight this one. Think about it. You might start with finding out what happened to Gil Barclay's previous receptionist."

"How would I get that information?"

"Talk to Jamie."

Matt wanted to respond to Lee, but his father-in-law was already heading down the stairs. He was not ready to agree with Lee about Sarah. It gave him a little comfort to know that his in-laws did not harbor a grudge, but Matt was not ready to forgive himself. As for work, it was easy to suggest that Matt push harder to get Sarah into Analysis. However, making that happen might require some thinking outside the box.

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The sound of running water eased Sarah from her sleep. Reaching out her hand, she found that Matt was no long in bed beside her. Stretching now, she smiled a little, remembering how they had talked the last few nights before falling asleep. Matt seemed more like his old self.

A toothbrush clinked in the holder, and after a moment, the door opened silently and Matt emerged from the bathroom and tiptoed in the direction of the bedroom door. Sarah sat up. "Good morning, love."

His eyes lit up as he turned to her. "Good morning." He sat down beside her on the bed. "You're looking chipper today. How do you feel?"

Sarah pulled her legs out from under the covers and sat on the edge of the bed beside Matt. "Like I want to go for a walk." She rose and went to the windows, peeking out through the slats of the blinds. "It looks like another beautiful day out there."

When she turned back to Matt, the smile had left his eyes. He started to say something, but Sarah cut him off.

"The fresh air would do me good. We could go to the green belt. There are flowers blooming there by now and the trees have all leafed out."

The discomfort was clear on Matt's face. "Sweetie, don't you think that's a bit ambitious?"

Sarah's mood faltered a bit, but she persisted, "Okay. How about I go for a slow walk on the treadmill while you lift weights? I could stop as soon as I run out of energy."

Considering this proposal, Matt's brows knit together. Then he broke out in a genuine smile. "That's a good compromise." He reached over and took her hand. "I do have some work to do today, but I think we should drive out to see the horses. Just to say hello."

"And eat at the diner?"

"Let's not push things."

"Less work for you, Matt. Besides, my parents helped finish off most of the casseroles. Mom put what was left in the freezer. We just have the meals your mom left for us now." Sarah smiled sweetly in an effort to help her appeal.

Smiling wryly, Matt stood. "Well, I can see how you might have had a few people wrapped around your little finger back in the day." He bent to kiss her forehead. "You're doing it to me, now. How about we eat at the Italian place because it's close to home?"

Not wishing to push her luck, Sarah nodded and got up, too. She kissed Matt on the cheek and went into the bathroom, hoping that they could share their evening meal in their favorite booth and not in front of the television with her feet propped up on the couch as they had done more than one night that week.

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While the day had been just the thing for boosting Sarah's spirits, it had been a reminder of her limitations. Their meal of sandwiches and fruit on their favorite rock at the cabin had been good for both of them. Matt had seemed more relaxed than Sarah had seen him in weeks. But, as they shared their remaining apple slices with her parents' horses Pilgrim and Panda at the farm where they were boarded, she had longed to saddle them up and take a ride near the creek. She had to admit that the level of disappointment she had felt might have been tied to her level of exhaustion. It had been a big day for her. However, after napping in the car for part of the drive home, Sarah was able to convince Matt to eat at the restaurant.

Now, as she lay propped up in bed reading while Matt sat next to her, catching up on emails at his laptop, she was having trouble keeping her eyes open. It was not even eight o'clock, and while they were both in their pajamas, she was determined not to fall asleep yet.

Her buzzing phone caused her to wake fully with a start.

"Who is it?"

Sarah knew that Matt hoped she would let the call go to voicemail. It was not likely he had missed her drooping eyes. "It's Richard Wong."

"I'm very tempted to take that phone from you and answer it myself."

She offered him a weak smile and swiped the screen. "Sarah Stetson."

Matt watched his wife as she exchanged a few pleasantries with Richard. He was glad to note that she did not say she was "fine," instead saying she was "coming along." He closed his laptop and set it on the chair near the bed, and then climbed under the covers once again.

As he watched, Sarah's countenance changed. Sitting forward, Sarah listened intently to the call, the tension in her shoulders visible to Matt. "Why did you move the testing up a week? Don't I have to be cleared by the doctor? …I see. You have an apartment already set up for me? Don't I have a say in this? Why didn't you call me sooner? …I see. Yes. I'll be there..."

Before Sarah could finish her sentence and end the call, Matt was on his knees, reaching for the phone. "Richard?" There was a pause as Matt sat back on his haunches. Obviously her supervisor had not hung up. "Yes, it's Granger. Who else do you think it would be at eight o'clock at night? My wife is still home recuperating—on sick leave, I might add."

Sarah had never heard Matt growl into the phone—until now. "What do you mean, calling this late to advise her of this test? It was scheduled for next week. A full week away. Yes, this is my business. We're talking about my wife's health, and you're out of line." Matt pulled the phone away from his ear and glared at it.

Sarah's voice was quiet. "I take it he hung up on you?"

He glanced at her briefly, but turned back to stare at the phone, his free hand balled into a fist. "Yes."

Matt was quiet for a long time. Unsure what to do, Sarah sat and watched him. Finally, he spoke. "He has you going to New York soon, doesn't he?"

"Um, actually he said it was a two- or three-week assignment, but he did not give the exact starting date—I'll probably leave at the end of next week." Tears formed in Sarah's eyes at the realization that the time had almost come for her to leave their home and begin a new job, several hours away. "They have an apartment set up—I won't have to pay rent during this assignment. After that, someone in the New York office will evaluate me and decide whether to keep me there for my six months' probation."

Matt stared at her phone as he flipped it lightly from one hand to the other. "It's private? No roommates?"

"I'm not sure, but I think so. There are other agents on assignment living in the same building."

"Tomorrow, while you are going through testing, I am going to look into filing a grievance against Wong."

"Don't I have to do it?"

"You will. I'll just figure out how to do it."

Sarah reached out to touch Matt's arm. "I could quit. I could get a job somewhere else. This isn't worth it. We're more important than my job."

Matt placed his hand over hers. "No. You won't let one person ruin this for you. Richard Wong has been out of line too many times."

After handing her the phone and watching her place it on the nightstand, Matt reached for Sarah and pulled her into his arms. They lay together, propped up against the pillows, with her head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to miss you so much. I love you." The catch in her voice was unmistakable as she pressed her face harder against him.

He responded by giving her a light squeeze and kissing her hair. By God's grace he had not choked up, too. "I love you, too. And I'm going to miss you, too."

Her head moved, and suddenly, her mouth was close to his. It was a long kiss, tasting of salt and mint. Tears and toothpaste, like another evening not long after they had returned from their honeymoon.

Caressing her hair, Matt whispered against Sarah's cheek. "Beloved."

"We'll be apart for your birthday and our four-month anniversary."

 _Had it only been four months since their wedding?_ "I'll take the train up."

"You know I can't predict my hours. You're the one who told me that."

"Sleeping in the same bed together and sharing a quick breakfast would be better than nothing. Although I'd like to try for dinner alone with you."

"It might be a twin bed."

"That won't matter, will it? Look at us now." They both craned their necks. Sure enough, lying there in an embrace, they only occupied a narrow space on the bed.

They lay back against the pillows and Sarah rested her head on Matt's shoulder again. "You are a sweet man. You always try to make everything easier and more bearable for me. I really do love you."

"As I've told you before, nothing brings me more pleasure than to do things for you." He yawned. "It's still early, but you need to get some sleep."

Matt turned towards Sarah, their legs tangling together as he ran a finger down the side of her face again.

It was as if Matt was deliberately etching this moment on his mind. Deciding to do the same thing, she brought her palm up and laid it against Matt's cheek. When they kissed, they both let their hands wander. It seemed like a long time before they came up for air.

Knowing that if this continued the direction things were going, it would be hard to stop, Matt drew away slightly. "I want to love you, but it's too soon." He turned away for a moment and switched off the light.

Sarah could not argue with her husband's reasoning, but she was glad when he turned back to her and took her in his arms. She sighed contentedly and lay her head on his chest, wishing they had more nights like this before she had to leave for New York.


	4. Chapter 4

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Four

"They say that if you want to know just how important a person is, hang around for their funeral," Francine quipped to Amanda as they made their way to the car after the service honoring Emily Farnsworth.

Amanda nodded, understanding Francine's meaning. Security was high for the event, as dignitaries from various European Union nations and other countries were in attendance.

Lee held the car door for the women as first Francine, and then Amanda slid into the back seat. He climbed into the front seat next to their driver, an MI6 employee stationed at the Farnsworth estate. "I don't think I've seen so many spooks in one place since the Berlin Wall came down."

"Lee, I see that you're still chummy with our hallowed director. Trying to grease the skids so you can take your job back? I'm willing. Efraim would be thrilled if I retired."

Lee glanced over his shoulder at Amanda. "We keep in touch. He is following us out to the estate, as a matter of fact."

"Oh?"

"I think you should be in on the discussion."

Francine recognized the tone. Lee would not talk further until they could be assured that no other ears could hear the conversation.

Back at the estate, the three longtime colleagues left the car and walked out into the gardens. Once they were well away from any trees, shrubs, or any other place where one could hide listening devices, Francine was quick to get to the point. "So, what's going on?"

"Have you wondered why Amanda and I stopped pestering you about keeping Sarah out of Analysis?"

"I figured you finally believed me that it was Gil Barclay's decision. He pretended at first that it wasn't, but I told him I wasn't going to take the heat. Several agents and analysts got wind of what was going on and came to me to complain. Apparently your daughter is as popular as you were, Amanda. And her recent trauma only added to the issue."

"The gossip never stops." Amanda grimaced.

"Well, at least it's in her favor. It's just too bad everyone had to know she miscarried. I'm sure she and Matt would have liked to have kept that to themselves."

Still grieving the loss of a grandchild and knowing Amanda was, too, Lee was anxious to change the subject. Now it was his turn to be direct. "Francine, Gil was blackmailed into throwing Sarah under the bus."

Francine stopped walking, and the Stetsons stopped alongside of her. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"Some damaging videos and logs showed him having at least one encounter with his receptionist," Amanda said, "the one who left suddenly in December."

Now Francine was incredulous. "I don't believe it. Someone doctored the videos. I just talked with Georgette a month or so ago. She says things are better than ever between them." She paused. "Although she did allude to having a rocky patch recently."

Lee sighed. "I hate to be the one to say this, but the evidence is pretty bad. He followed her home one night—ostensibly to make sure she got there safely. But then she seems to have invited him up for a nightcap. They get on the elevator in the parking garage and—let's just say if they put the elevator's surveillance video in a movie, it would be at least PG-13."

"How could the Agency director be so stupid?"

"Well, he never worked in the field."

Francine was shaking her head. "No. Sorry. He knows that elevators can have videos. Maybe it wasn't really him."

Amanda placed her hands on Francine's and Lee's arms and nodded in the direction of the house. "Let's give him a chance to explain it for himself."

Gil was a bit winded as he caught up to the little group. "Thank you for meeting me here." He glanced around. "I can see that you picked a secure location."

Lee nodded in response. "Gil."

Glancing around at the stern-faced group, Gil saw that he would have to do the talking. Only Amanda seemed to encourage him. "You have something important to tell us?"

"First of all, I'm here because I want to fix all of the things that have happened because I let Wong blackmail me. I knew the video was a fake, but following my assistant home was not faked. Things didn't look good and I couldn't let Wong destroy the Agency by ruining my reputation."

Amanda looked down and cleared her throat. "You won't be able to fix everything, Gil. You allowed that man to treat our daughter shamefully. And I understand several promising recruits left the training."

Lee moved closer to her and placed his hand on the small of her back.

Barclay was clearly uncomfortable, but he did not respond to Amanda's comment. "Look, I know that you've seen that elevator footage of me with Whitney. I'm not going to pretend it didn't happen."

"Your honesty is refreshing." Francine was scowling.

Amanda placed a hand on her arm. "Gil, you must have known someone would see a video at some point."

"That's just it. It's me and Whitney all right." Barclay pulled out a small camera. "This thing has the video stored on it, but there's no internet access, so it's secure. I've got everything on here, along with some other files I'll tell you about in a minute." He activated the screen and the others drew closer so they could see more easily. He pressed play. "Watch the couple in the elevator." He pointed as first Whitney, then Gil, stepped onto the elevator. As soon as the door closed, she was pulling on Gil's lapels and pressing her body up against his." He paused the video. "That part is real. Whitney had never even flirted with me. We had worked late a lot, and she was afraid to walk to her apartment alone. I usually accompanied her to the door. Then, this time, she launched herself at me."

Lee scowled. "We've seen this. You're obviously enjoying it, and you pull a few moves of your own, Barclay."

"That's what Richard Wong wants you to think. He created this video just so he could blackmail me. Look at the man in the next frame. Do you really think I grew two or three inches?" He backed up the video to show the frames before the kiss, and then paused once the couple was kissing. "Except for that moment right there, the only woman I'd ever kissed like that in the last thirty years was Georgette. And I'm not even kissing Whitney back. As soon as she flung herself at me, I pushed her away. She twisted an ankle, in fact." He rubbed his hand along his neck. I guess I was angry and got a little rough." He let the video play a few more seconds. "This man is wearing a wig. See his hair shift? It may be Whitney, but it isn't me."

Amanda stood back a little. "I don't know, Gil. It would be awfully convenient to pretend the whole thing was edited."

"I don't blame you for being skeptical, Amanda. I wouldn't expect anything less. But keep watching." Barclay pressed play again.

"Geez, Gil." Lee was annoyed. "Do we have to watch you pawing your receptionist? She has no shame either. She's got your jacket half off…" Lee's tone changed. "Oh. I see it."

"Right." Amanda was watching closely, her tone different now, too. She pointed to the screen. Gil had paused the video as a shoulder holster was clearly visible. "You don't wear a gun. Never have and never will, you've always said."

Lee joined in. "That guy has a Glock 17. Did the idiots who made this do their homework?" He paused to catch Gil's eye. "How do you explain staying the night?"

"That was faked with edited footage. They changed the date and time stamp and show me getting on the elevator after helping Whitney to her door. I know it shows me going in her apartment, but it was only to fire her. I left right away. I was disheveled from her grabbing me, not from dressing in a hurry."

"But what about the gun?" It was Francine this time. She was clearly still skeptical.

"They probably were trying to make it authentic. Not everyone knows I don't carry. Besides, you can't see their faces very well." Gil Barclay, who had been tense and defensive up until this point, was obviously relieved.

"I'll concede that this is a fake, Gil, but we'll need more evidence." Francine was cool with Barclay. "It will take more than one video to make sure Richard Wong stays good and fired."

"This is where I have to thank your sons, Lee and Amanda. Jamie did most of the work, but Phillip sent this device along with me. They wanted you to know right away about Wong, but I said I needed to tell you in person, after the funeral."

"So, you did follow the girl home?"

"Yes, but after a few times, I was getting pretty uncomfortable. The place was pretty secure, so I questioned the need to go. Whitney would put on an act, saying she was afraid, and I'd feel guilty. Then Georgette was beginning to question my late nights—things were crazy at work, but Whitney was creating ways for me to stay later with her. She ordered dinner a couple of nights when Georgette was out at meetings or with a friend. At first it seemed rude to decline. There was some major snafu that I think Whitney created herself one evening. Several files I'd commented on were somehow deleted before I could finalize them and send them. It was the usual personnel stuff. I was reviewing critiques of the new agents that Francine had forwarded on to me."

"Stop." Now Francine was alarmed. "Could Whitney have tampered with those files? I heard from Grace that Sarah received some critical remarks on her review. I meant to follow up on that, because her review was almost spotless when I approved it. She never said anything, but I had two agents complain about inaccuracies."

Gil looked sick. "It's possible. I was trying not to be angry with Whitney and her blunder, and I was pretty stressed at the time. She could have pulled one over on me. It was stupid of me to let her have access. I just asked her to send them back to Richard."

Amanda stared at Gil, unbelieving. "Gil, we both know that's not exactly it."

Reddening under her gaze, he hesitated.

"Spill it, man. You know we already expect you to resign. We'd hate to see you fired."

Gil seemed to regain his composure. "You're threatening me now, Stetson? Fine. I'll tell you what Georgette already knows. I did let Whitney get a little too close. Georgette had been harassing me for a while and it was strained between us. In retaliation, I let Whitney spend too much time in my office. It wasn't all her. She came on to me by being sympathetic when she overheard me with Georgette one evening. She was pretty smooth. Didn't bad mouth Georgette, but she was practically sitting in my lap by the time the conversation was over. I'm not dead, Stetson. She's an attractive woman, and I didn't push her away. By the time she was done, she had talked me into letting her help me with the files."

"And you were thinking of staying at her apartment that night, weren't you?"

"Fine." Gil seemed a little perturbed at Lee's persistence, but sighed in resignation. "I had entertained the idea more than once, but I told the truth when I said I was getting uncomfortable with how things were going. Georgette had already talked me into going to counseling. I knew Whitney was playing a game, and I went along with it. That was before the kiss—I should have transferred Whitney out of there before that."

Amanda was thoughtful. "Actually, Gil, good may come of this. You and Georgette weathered that storm, and Whitney was obviously working with Richard. This raunchy movie they put together may help you fire Richard."

"As I said, I'd like to fix some of the things that Wong has done before I resign. Wong showed me this video and threatened to destroy me and my family if I didn't help him. I put Richard Wong in that supervisor position out of sheer cowardice. He has to know that he has no blackmailing power anymore. I've done enough damage to my marriage and to the Agency."

"And picked a lousy time to tell us all about it. Why Emily Farnsworth's funeral?" They all could see Francine was steamed.

"I couldn't risk Wong knowing I was telling you."

His jaw clenching, Lee tensed. "You haven't said why Wong was involved."

"He was looking for trouble, if you ask me. He came to my office the day after the kiss and as bold as brass showed me a video of us in the parking garage. Then he acted all sympathetic and said he understood I was in a predicament, but he'd be happy to cover my butt. He was on the list of possibilities for freshmen supervisor, and he got the job. I was stupid enough to take advantage of his 'protection,' but Wong did not just want a promotion to freshman supervisor—that wasn't his end goal."

"What do you mean?" Lee's jaw was still clenched.

"He had it out for your family, Lee. He saw Sarah had a lot of potential, and he was furious that she was a shoe-in for Analysis. He had coveted that job—that was the one he really wanted. He came to me and insisted that I give it to him once his class was trained. He threatened to make additional videos with faked time stamps, making it look like Whitney and I had had an ongoing affair. He said if I went to anyone, particularly Phillip or Jamie, for help in getting out of the mess, he would release the videos to the press. Not only would that have been the end of my marriage, but the end of the Agency. I agreed to let him have free rein of Sarah's training and assignment if he'd keep his mouth shut."

"You bas…"

Amanda caught Lee's arm as he pulled back his fist. "Lee!"

Lee calmed down just enough to find his voice. Now this was personal. Lee felt betrayed by his longtime friend. "You've hurt our daughter and us. And worse. You've possibly tarnished the Agency's reputation. This is much bigger than you being accused of spending a few nights with some tramp."

Amanda stood silent, too overcome to voice her emotions, while Francine's face colored with fury. "Gil Barclay, that girl lost a baby because of you. And Richard Wong is planning to send her to New York before she's even been cleared by medical. You are going to reverse his plans and resign once they are set in stone or I'm going to make sure you're fired."

Gil Barclay had paled in the wake of Francine's accusations, but he looked her in the eye. "You're right. I know that. That's why I resolved to do something about Richard Wong this week, when I finally found a way to get Jamie's help without alerting Wong. The thing is, he's slippery. Until now, we haven't had enough to fire him. That's why I challenged you to dig deeper, Lee."

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth?" Lee seemed to have deflated, his bluster gone.

"I wanted to. But I was a coward. And, I knew that if anyone found out about what I'd done, I'd be fired before I could stop Wong and turn things around. A new director isn't going to put Sarah in Analysis after she's been shipped off to New York. And there are files that have been doctored—her scores were tampered with. Those need to be fixed."

"I'm sure Jamie can fix those."

"It can't be one of the family, Lee. You know that. I've got someone in mind, but he was in Europe, and it took some time to get him back to D.C." Gil rubbed his hand over his face. "I should have retired a year ago, when I talked you into it, Lee. None of this would have happened."

"That's true." Lee had cooled down, but there was still a disgusted expression on his face. He glanced at the house. "We've been out here too long. Emily's people are trying to be discreet, but they need us—Amanda and me—inside.

"I'm sorry about Sarah. I really am."

The Stetsons acknowledged Gil's words, perhaps Amanda more politely than Lee. As the foursome walked back to the house, Francine hung back, motioning to Gil to do the same.

"Listen, Gil. I'm sure you already know that I think you're a dirty dog. Besides letting the NSA run us around for the last several months, you've put a strain on our personnel. Sarah wasn't the only promising agent who's doubting her future here. We may lose some of our other recruits, too."

"Not if they don't know, Francine."

"Richard Wong is a terrible manager. I'm not talking about you being accused of philandering. Besides, we both know your behavior was inexcusable. Let's hope no one does find out. I've been telling you morale is low."

"I think I've already apologized for my behavior, Francine. As for Sarah, I think her husband will help her. He's a soldier and knows how to deal with tough times. He'll help her hold on until we can fix things."

"You're awfully sure of yourself, Gil." Francine looked him up and down, disgust written all over her face. "And you're not in a place to be that way."

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Still not recuperated from the miscarriage, Sarah had managed to get herself showered and dressed Friday morning, but by the time they reached the conference room where Sarah was to test her basic knowledge on the computer, she was leaning heavily on Matt's arm.

Unwilling to go to his desk, Matt had loitered in the hallway outside. Before the testing began, Greg Costas, sitting a row in front of Sarah, had turned a chair towards Sarah and motioned for her to put her feet on it. The hour in a chair with her feet up had renewed Sarah's energy enough for her to make the trip to the Arena, but Matt had followed the class to the facility.

Sarah hung back so she could walk with her husband. "I'll be okay, Matt. You probably have work to do." They turned a corner and entered the hallway outside the Arena.

"I told you in the car that I was going to spend my day following you around, and I wasn't kidding."

At Sarah's lifted eyebrows, Matt turned to see Grant Hill.

His expression serious, Grant seemed to want to reach out to Sarah, but thought better of it. "I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss—for both of you." Without waiting for a reply, Grant turned and went into the Arena.

Placing a hand on Sarah's shoulder, Matt waited for Sarah to respond in some way. "That was kind. But it's been hard to hear all the reminders today. Greg Costas even insisted I put my feet up for the test. He gave me a water bottle, too. I took it, even though I had one."

"I didn't see him give you the water bottle." Matt shifted his feet. "You should go inside and not stand out here. I'll be out here."

"Don't be jealous, Matt. He's trying to be a friend. That's all."

"I'm not jealous. I'm just…"

"Angry I have to be here. Please go to your desk. This will take a while. I'll sit with my feet up. I promise."

Matt took so long to consider her plea that Grant poked his head out the door. "Sarah, you'd better get in here before Wong makes a stink." He let the door fall closed, but kept it from latching so the sound would not draw Richard Wong's attention.

Giving her husband a quick kiss, Sarah slipped into the waiting area before Matt could say anything.

The first portion of the test, arms identification and maintenance, went smoothly for Sarah. She had practiced endlessly, so she was not surprised to find that the team of agents monitoring the test were giving her a thumbs up at the end.

The same was true for the marksmanship portion of the test, but Sarah was grateful that she could finally sit for a time while she waited for her turn in the Arena. It was just too bad that Catherine Scott chose the seat next to Sarah's.

"You're entitled to take a break, Sarah." Catherine gave her an awkward pat. "I'm sorry about the miscarriage, but it's probably good you didn't have to be pregnant when you start your new assignment. You'll be able to have more kids later."

Sarah's middle tightened and her throat ached with the sob that she had to keep swallowing back. She could not answer Catherine. Greg Costas suddenly materialized at Sarah's elbow. "My sister and her husband had a couple of miscarriages. We—my parents, grandparents, and brothers and sisters—we all had a hard time with it. Greeks love babies and family, and she was the first of the grandkids to get pregnant." He gazed at Catherine while he patted Sarah's shoulder awkwardly.

Sarah was grateful for the "rescue." Their baby may have been only a few months along, but she and Matt had become attached to their little one from the moment they found out about the pregnancy. A child, however tiny, could not be replaced. While Greg Costa's words were helpful, Sarah wished she could escape. It was hard enough to discuss the baby and the miscarriage with her husband, let alone well-meaning coworkers.

Thus, when she heard her name sooner than she expected, Sarah was willing to forego a chance to rest. The Arena test would be easier to endure.

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

Matt knew he had plenty of work to do. There was a new assignment with a large amount of background information to review and an update about the Kazakhs. He could even spend the time waiting for Sarah to complete her testing by sending emails to his contacts in San Antonio. But it was too soon to pester them again. They asked him to wait until mid-May. The office was undergoing a relocation and they had ongoing cases on top of that chaos.

He had already researched how to file a grievance, and had all the information Sarah would need to do it properly. He glanced at his watch.

"Granger, you are driving me nuts. Why don't you just go down and wait outside the Arena? You're so wound up, you're useless."

Matt glanced over at Rene, feeling somewhat apologetic. "I'm not worried about her passing."

"I know, man. It's just too soon. She shouldn't be at work." He slid his chair closer to Matt's and lowered his voice. "Is it really worth, it? Sarah could get a great job somewhere in D.C. working 9-5 and using her degree."

"She suggested that. But for now, she's not willing to give up her dream. She still hopes to get the job she thought she had." Matt stood and grabbed his suit jacket. "I think I'll take your advice."

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

Things were going smoothly for Sarah in the Arena. She knew she was pushing herself to the brink of exhaustion, but in a few minutes, she would be in just the right position for taking out the gunman. With a pang, she realized that she would be able to fit behind the building once again, and that looked like the best way reach the shooter without getting "hit" in crossfire. She ran in a crouch alongside the false structure, but when she reached the place where she would normally slip through, she found it blocked. It was just a flimsy piece of cardboard, but it had been attached to the wall of the false structure with a staple gun. This was not Leatherneck's handiwork. He would have built a wooden structure there. And it was not like him to foil her trick. He could not falsify any of her results, and he even recused himself from monitoring her test today. Apparently Richard Wong had complained about the longtime Agency employee's connection to her family. Today Richard himself was monitoring the test.

She did not stop to consider how Wong might have figured out Sarah's trick. She needed to get to the other side of the building. With no time to waste, she eyed the window near her. There was no glass, and previously she had never considered it. Usually a gunman was inside the building, and one could risk being "shot" once inside. Leatherneck had told her never to go into the building unless all other options were gone. Today they were.

Without any hesitation, Sarah ducked her head and quickly hoisted herself over the sill. Not too many agents could fit through the window without diving through it or slipping through some other awkward way. Thankfully she was slimmer than most. Ignoring a mild wave of dizziness, she dashed through the fake building, weaving through debris and unused pop-ups on her way to the window on the other side of the building. Thankfully she did not spot the pop-up with her father's image among the pieces of sheet metal littering the floor. Soon she was scrunching up her body and slipping out to the other side of the building. Just as she stood, she saw the gunman, right there in front of her. But the dizziness was worse this time. Doing her best to ignore it, Sarah raised her handgun quickly and fired before the pop-up could "shoot" her first.

"You almost bought it, Granger, but nice save. Not sure it was smart to go through the building." Richard Wong's voice sounded tinny and cold through the Arena speakers. It was not the welcome sound of Leatherneck's easy, warm drawl.

Sarah knew she was expected to eject the magazine from her weapon and pull any additional magazines from her pockets. As she went through the motions, the dizziness seemed to worsen, instead of going away, like it had earlier. When she pulled back the slide on the Glock to check for any cartridges in the chamber, she could not hear the sound. All she could hear was a kind of muffled roaring. _I need to sit down before I fall down_ , she thought. She stumbled a step and went to her knees. Richard Wong was saying something over the loudspeaker, but Sarah could not understand him. Her mind unfocused, she turned her head toward the observation room, but it seemed very far away, as if it was at the end of a long tunnel. Then everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Five

Matt had started to leave for the Arena, but he realized that if Sarah had completed her testing, only the medical exam remained. He intended to accompany her to the infirmary for that, and then take her home. He turned back to his desk so he could shut things down for the day.

Before Matt could finish turning off his computer, his phone rang. He pulled it out, surprised to find Richard Wong's name on the display. He paused a split second before answering it, at first wanting to avoid having to confront the man once again. But he realized it made no sense for Wong to be calling him during the Arena testing. It might be important. "Granger."

"It's Wong. You should probably come down here. Sarah's fallen. I've already called Medical."

"Coming." Matt barely ended the call before tucking the phone in his pocket and heading for the doors of the bullpen.

Seeing the look on his partner's face, Rene scrambled after Matt as the other agent all but sprinted to the elevator.

Matt barely glanced at Rene as he waited impatiently for the doors to open, but he still acknowledged his presence. "Maybe we should take the stairs."

"Forget it. Too far. Here we go." Rene placed a hand on Matt's shoulder as he followed him into the elevator.

"What happened to Sarah?"

"I don't know. Richard said she fell."

"That doesn't make any sense. Why call you over a little mishap?"

"Wong called Medical."

Rene nodded and was silent at he followed Matt out of the elevator and sprinted along with him towards the back door of the Arena. Matt pounded on the door, which was quickly opened by one of the agents monitoring the tests. Matt nodded to Chen and tried to push past him.

"Take it easy, Granger. Fitzgerald is looking at Sarah right now." He placed a hand on Matt's arm and caught the younger agent's eye.

Matt recognized the expression. Matt took a deep breath to cool off. He was steamed, and Chen knew it. It would not help Sarah if he rushed in, ready to explode at Wong. He also knew Wong must have done something to push Sarah too far if Chen was worried about Matt's reaction.

Chen released his grip on Matt and showed him the way to the other side of the false structure, where he could see the dark fabric of Sarah's slacks between a jumble of knees and medical equipment. Dr. Fitzgerald was barking orders at his assistant.

Matt walked around to Sarah's head. She was unconscious, but the doctor was calling her name and rubbing his knuckle on her upper chest. In a possible effort to cool Sarah off, her suit jacket was open, revealing her lightweight blouse.

Swallowing back his distress, Matt knelt at Sarah's head, which was turned a little to the side. Her bun was askew and what little color she had had in her cheeks earlier had been replaced with a ghostly pallor. He ran a hand over her hair, smoothing the strays away from her face. "What happened?"

"She seems to have fainted, but I'm having trouble getting her to come out of it." Dr. Fitzgerald glanced up briefly at Matt, and then went back to checking Sarah's vitals and trying to rouse her.

"She finished her test, but then she just collapsed." Chen spoke quietly when Fitzgerald did not say anything more.

Matt's eyes traveled the length of Sarah's body. No blood stains. Then he saw her Glock and the magazines in Wong's hands.

Wong was defensive. "She was fine during the test. She passed it with flying colors. Although she had trouble while she was securing her weapon."

Chen did not hide his sarcasm. "We aren't subtracting points for fainting after disarming the weapon. Most people would have sat down when they started to feel crappy."

Matt gently lifted Sarah's head and cradled it in his hands, not caring if the doctor objected. Fitzgerald looked over briefly. "If you must. I still haven't ruled out head trauma."

Chen had taken charge of the scene as Wong stood by dumbly. "We told you she did not hit her head. She was on her knees, and just crumpled to the ground. Her shoulder hit first."

At those words, Fitzgerald checked Sarah's bad shoulder for any signs of dislocation, but seeing none, went back to trying to wake her.

Finally, she moaned and stirred, trying vainly to focus on her husband's face. "Matt?"

Placing a hand gently on her good shoulder, Fitzgerald leaned over to get Sarah's attention. "Sarah, just lie still. You've had a fainting spell." He checked her blood pressure again. "Let's get you down to the infirmary." Nodding at Larry Chen and Matt, he spoke quietly to his assistant, who wheeled a gurney over to Sarah. Matt and Chen quickly lifted her onto the gurney.

Stepping over to Wong before following the gurney out of the Arena, Matt held out his hand for the Glock. "I'll take that, and the magazines. If Sarah passed the test, she's entitled to keep her sidearm and at least two loaded magazines with her at all times. She already signed all the paperwork."

"I suppose so. I'll follow you down to the infirmary. I need to make sure Fitzgerald tests Sarah for medical fitness. I can't figure out why he cleared her."

"He cleared her? You're kidding, right?" Matt felt his hands ball into fists, but he had no time to have it out with Wong. He needed to stay with Sarah.

Rene stepped over and spoke to Wong before his partner could say anything. "You can check with Fitzgerald later. Thanks anyway." He took Matt's arm and walked with his partner out of the Arena.

"You can let go of me now. I wasn't going to punch the guy."

"I was thinking of doing it, if you weren't. What an ass." He mimicked Wong in a singsong voice, "'I need to make sure Fitzgerald tests Sarah for medical fitness. I can't figure out why he cleared her.'"

"I can't either." Matt was thoughtful. When he could see that there was only room on the elevator for the Sarah on the gurney, Dr. Fitzgerald, and his assistant, he turned to Rene. "Listen, I think Sarah's going to be okay. Her doctor warned us she could have a fainting spell if she overdid it. I think today qualifies. You can get back to the bullpen if you want."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

By the time she had arrived in the infirmary, Sarah was more alert and calling for Matt. He jogged to catch up with the gurney, having taken the stairs when the elevator was full.

"I'm right here." He reached down and took her hand as she was wheeled into a treatment room.

"I'm so embarrassed. I should have sat down before I passed out."

"It sounds like you may have overexerted yourself, young lady." Fitzgerald gently admonished Sarah. "What were you thinking, coming in here so soon after being in the hospital? You were out so long that my assistant had time to pull up your file. NEST admitted you just two weeks ago as a critical case."

Matt did not need the reminder. This episode was just what he had feared would happen today. But he was also beginning to think it might play out in Sarah's favor. Obviously Fitzgerald disapproved of Sarah being forced into work so soon.

"Why was she out so long?"

Fitzgerald did not answer immediately. He kept his eyes on Sarah. "You are going to rest here for a little while until I decide you're ready to go home." He motioned to Matt to follow him outside, and did not stop until they were out of earshot of the treatment room.

"Why was Sarah here today? I don't have the OB's most recent notes, but I can't believe she would have been cleared to return to work until at least next week. On top of that, Sarah should have been cleared by me before she performed any kind of physically exerting tests. I could tell by just a quick exam that she's still anemic—her blood oxygen is going to be lower than normal."

"If I might interrupt." Larry Chen stepped up to the men. "It is my understanding that Wong gave Sarah the option of running her tests next week, but she insisted on coming in today."

Matt kept his voice low, but it was difficult not to sound angry. "That's the exact opposite of what happened. Wong threatened to fail Sarah if she did not come in today. I spoke with him myself and could not persuade him otherwise."

Chen nodded as if he was not surprised at the revelation. Had he goaded Matt into helping catch Wong in a lie?

"What about the medical clearance? Wong said he wanted to come down and make sure Sarah was cleared by Fitzgerald. But she couldn't possibly have clearance."

"Check her file. Could she have gotten clearance somehow?" Chen asked the question, but Matt was certain he knew the answer.

Chen turned to Matt after Fitzgerald went off to check his computer.

"You know something. You're directing Fitzgerald and me into saying things that will incriminate Wong."

Chen nodded, a small grin on his face. He pulled a recording device from his pocket. "I'm impressed, Granger. You're on to me." His smile faded. "Don't worry, I turned it off when Fitzgerald walked away. I was called back to the U.S. to run an internal investigation. I think you can guess why I can't discuss anything more with you. I'll also have to ask you to step away while I interrogate Fitzgerald and get it on camera. You can't be seen as being involved."

Matt nodded reluctantly. "I guess I understand. I might be seen as having a grudge, having it out for Wong."

Striding out of his office, Fitzgerald cast a glance in the direction of the two men before going into the treatment room. Matt followed him. He could not remember seeing the normally pleasant doctor perturbed, and now he seemed almost angry.

Fitzgerald was ordering a blood draw, while at the same time checking the blood oxygen levels from the fingertip sensor his assistant had placed on Sarah's hand. He stared at the ECG readings for a moment before turning away from the monitors to face his patient, who had grown quite sleepy. He murmured an apology while he checked her pupils. "Can you tell me what happened today, Agent Granger—Sarah?"

While her mind was now clear, it was an effort to talk. All the adrenaline from the Arena was gone, and Sarah was exhausted. "I was almost done with my test when I got a little dizzy. I knew I should probably sit down, but I was so close to finishing, I ran through the building and popped out the other window. That's when I really started to feel badly. My head was kind of pounding and I couldn't see well. I think I was getting ready to faint. I got off a round so I could finish the test and ran through the safety procedures for my sidearm. I know I got the magazines out, and the slide was back. There were no cartridges."

Fitzgerald patted her arm. "No one is disputing whether you followed procedure."

"Richard Wong was."

Fitzgerald raised his eyebrows at this, but did not reply. "So, you were dizzy? Any pain? Were you dizzy earlier? Short of breath?"

"I haven't been out of breath, and I wasn't dizzy until just before I fainted. Just tired. I'm still not back to my usual self since I…"

With a sympathetic nod, Fitzgerald finished for her. "Your miscarriage? That's perfectly normal. I'd say you need at least another week at home. And then I would have restricted you to desk duty. Quite honestly, I think you fainted out of pure exhaustion—and some remaining anemia." He eyed the monitor. "Your blood oxygen is below normal—I'm not comfortable letting you go home just yet. I've sent off a sample to our lab. We should have results in less than half an hour. Why don't you just close your eyes and take a little nap?"

Sarah did not resist, especially when Matt sat down beside her and took her hand. He watched as Chen followed the doctor down the hall to his office.

Sometime later, Chen beckoned to Matt from the doorway. With Sarah now asleep, Matt gently released her hand and went out into the hallway.

"I think you should know that Sarah's medical clearance was faked—Fitzgerald figured it out. Fitzgerald isn't a newbie, so he brought his own recording device into the treatment room just now. He knows all the details about what happened to Sarah and thought it was completely inappropriate to have her test today. He's going to file a report."

"Why didn't he tell me that?"

"Internal investigation, remember? He'll talk to you about medical stuff only so we have a solid case—and we don't show our hand."

"Did he say anything else?"

"He'll talk to you. I have to get back to the Arena. I'm supposed to be judging. Sarah aced it, by the way. You should be proud of her."

"I am." As he stepped quietly into the treatment room once again, Matt regarded his dozing wife. Despite the disturbing events and revelations that had happened in the last hour, Matt could not help but smile a little. He was proud of Sarah. He wondered at her tactic of going through the building. It was a risky move. Surely she could have used her little trick of slipping between the building and the wall… Matt found himself suddenly wistful about the baby. While her middle had barely begun to round with their baby, it had been enough to prevent her from slipping through the narrow space between the false structure and the wall of the Arena. It was painful to admit it, but Matt knew Sarah was once again slender enough to make it through that opening.

Her eyes fluttered open. She watched Matt quietly as he sat down.

"You passed, sweetie. Chen said you aced the Arena."

Sarah sighed in relief and closed her eyes. "That's good, because I just want to go home and sleep in our bed."

"We can leave soon." He regarded her for moment. When her eyes opened again and he could see that she was not going back to sleep anytime soon, he ventured, "So, I heard you say you went through the building. That's tricky, considering the size of the windows. Were the doors unguarded?"

"I went through the windows. Had to bend double and practically sit down on the sill, but…"

"I should have figured that out. Why not your secret little pass through?"

"It was blocked. Pretty cheesy-looking barricade, if you ask me. Leatherneck would have used wood. Someone used a staple gun to attach cardboard from a box. I didn't have time to tear it down."

"That means someone had to know you used that trick."

"I guess. Doesn't matter, right?" She yawned. "Please call Dr. Fitzgerald. I have to be better by now. I really want to go home."

"Then home you shall go."

Both Sarah and Matt looked up in surprise as Dr. Fitzgerald strode into the room.

"Your blood test came out with higher blood oxygen than our finger sensor. Happens sometimes. But you are definitely anemic. Are you on iron?"

"Yes. My OB gave me a prescription for it. She's going to test me again in a couple of months." Sarah sat up a little, as if she were anxious to escape.

"Good, then." If Dr. Fitzgerald noticed her discomfort, he ignored it. He pulled up a stool and sat down. "Listen, Sarah. I'm very sorry to hear about your miscarriage. They never are easy, but you had a particularly tough time of it. I read your doctor's notes and I cannot tell you why it happened, because no one will ever know for certain. However, I can tell you that you need to take care of yourself. Your body is telling you to slow down."

"I'll work on that. Thank you, Dr. Fitzgerald."

"I'm not just here for hand-to-hand combat injuries." He regarded Sarah for a moment. "Look, I don't know what the real story is here about why you had to come in today, but I intend to do something about it. I don't like having my files tampered with—or my patients' health. I'm going to submit a report directly to Chief Beaman and Director Barclay requesting you have an additional week before being placed back on desk duty here in D.C." Dr. Fitzgerald stood once again. "Go home and have a very restful weekend." He emphasized the word restful before offering them a smile and leaving the room.

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

Matt and Sarah were in the parking garage when Sarah's cell phone rang. Seeing it was Richard Wong, she stopped to answer the call. "Hello, Richard."

"Hi, Sarah. Listen, I heard you had a rough morning, but I need to see you in my office. Can you be here in five minutes?"

"We haven't left the Agency, yet. Sure."

Richard Wong was ready for Sarah when she arrived. Seeing Matt with her, he put up a hand. "Sorry, Granger. I'd like you to wait outside."

Frowning now from where he stood in the doorway, Matt nodded curtly before closing the door to the office. He did not walk away, however, but stood near the door, hoping to listen through it.

On the other side, Sarah sat perched on the edge of her seat. Knowing Richard Wong, she had prepared for the worst.

He did not disappoint. "Thank you for coming back to my office. I hope you're feeling better, now that you're over your fainting spell."

"Dr. Fitzgerald said I needed more time to recuperate."

"Yes, well, I'm sure you can work that out. I won't keep you long here." He shifted in his seat, a sympathetic expression appeared on his face, but Sarah was fairly certain it was not genuine. "I think you know that it won't be possible for you to stay in D.C., now that you are done with your training." When Sarah did not reply, Wong continued. "However, I was able to secure you that position with the New York office if you are willing to report on Monday for a three-week assignment."

"You mean this Monday? I haven't even been cleared to work. I wasn't supposed to be here today."

"I apologize for that miscommunication. I was under the impression you would be able to complete your test today," he glanced down at his computer screen, "and from your test results, I can see you did just fine."

"What happens if I faint while I'm out in the field in New York? I'm not the whining type, Richard, but the doctor said it was a real possibility, and it happened today."

"I'm sure you can manage to avoid that. I heard you tell your husband you get a little warning." Now Wong was practically sneering at her. Sarah could see that any pretense of friendliness was simply that, a pretense.

She did not attempt to hide her weariness, or her desire to finish the meeting as soon as possible. "What are the arrangements for this assignment? You mentioned some things on the phone, but I'll need concrete details."

Wong handed a slim packet over to Sarah. "The New York office has a few studio apartments they keep available for agents visiting on a long-term basis. Since this assignment will be for at least three weeks, they are giving you one of the studios. The good news is that the housing is free, even if you have to cover your own meals. Until you get a permanent assignment, they cover your housing expenses."

Sarah nodded slowly. She could see herself bouncing all over the country, if not the world. Wong had been very clever. "I see. You made sure it was not a permanent assignment, so I'm still technically reporting to you."

"That's right. Maybe I can find a few things for you to do in D.C. from time to time so you can see more of your husband. Maybe at some point you can find a permanent position in another office, but for now I'm not ready to let you off my roster. You should know you received the highest score in your class."

"If you are so eager to keep me out of Analysis, why are keeping me on your roster? Why not just let me transfer somewhere?"

"As I said, Sarah. You're a high performer. There may be no room for you in D.C. at the moment, but if there is at some point, you won't want to be permanently assigned anywhere."

Sarah glanced down at the packet, slowly turning the pages. "So, shall I need to bring a car with me to New York?"

"No. They have a fleet there and it's difficult to park in the neighborhood where you'll be living. For this trip, they've provided a train ticket for you." He pointed as Sarah found the ticket enclosed in the packet.

Sarah started to close the packet, but the date on the ticket caught her eye. She looked again. "Richard, this ticket is for Sunday. I'm on medical leave."

Richard acted as if he was exasperated. "Look, I don't think you understand. I'm doing you a favor here. Scott got an assignment in Amsterdam for five weeks. She's thrilled, but I can have her trade with you. She reports the end of next week. I just said the report date is this Monday."

Sighing, Sarah responded, "I guess I was hoping you meant a week from Monday. How did you or anyone know I'd pass?"

"New York was expecting some new recruits to be available. When I told them I was sure you'd pass, they jumped at the chance to have you. I'd stop complaining if I were you and be glad that your family name has done you a favor."

Sarah knew it was time to leave. She was about to lose her temper, and if her husband was listening at the door, he was likely to burst into the room at any moment. She rose abruptly and immediately regretted it, as she was accosted by a wave of dizziness. Gripping the arm of the chair, she paused for a moment before leaving the room. But she could not leave without having the last word. "At least you can't say I got my score today based on my family name, Richard. I'm sure it pains you that I earned it all on my own."

Sarah was out the door before he could respond, and immediately felt ashamed of herself for losing her cool. As she expected, Matt was right there. She noted the tight grin on his face.

"I'm sure it felt good to leave him with that zinger." He placed a hand under her elbow and propelled Sarah to the elevator. Perhaps he was as worried about Wong coming back out of his office as she was.

It was not until they were on the streets of Georgetown, headed for the expressway, that either one of them spoke. Sarah was surprised that she had no tears. She merely felt cold and numb. "I'm sorry, Matt. This isn't the marriage you were probably hoping for—a wife who is never home and manages to have an unplanned pregnancy right away. I wouldn't blame you for regretting marrying me."

"Hey!" Matt glanced over at her, flabbergasted. "What are you talking about? Marrying you has been the best thing that ever happened to me, aside from meeting you in the first place. You made a mistake with your pills, but for a little while, we had a baby." He glanced out the window and swallowed. "We won't get to meet him or her until we get to Heaven, but we had a baby. That was pretty incredible. It wasn't something I regret at all. I just wish you hadn't been so sick so much of the time."

Sarah noticed that Matt did not mention how she had nearly died miscarrying their baby. If anything, that gave her more reason to be angry at herself. She had put Matt through so much. "Now I'm leaving for who knows how long. My train ticket is for Sunday. That's the day after tomorrow."

When Matt did not react, Sarah was certain he had listened through the door. "You heard everything, didn't you?"

"Yeah." His jaw working, he glanced out the side window again. "I need to get on the phone with Francine, even if she's in England. Wong can't send you on assignment without medical clearance, forged or otherwise. And you aren't going to Amsterdam, either."

While Matt called Francine, Sarah pulled out her suitcases and began to go through her clothes. The New York office could be as formal as D.C. or casual, depending on the nature of the assignment. She glanced through her packet to see if she could find out anything about the assignment and found a note about dress: business attire. She would have to bring her suits and plenty of pantyhose. Her three pairs of flats had seen a lot of wear in the last few months, but they would hold up. She placed one pair of heels in her suitcase.

One look at Matt's face as he walked into their bedroom told Sarah that he had talked to Francine, but had not liked the outcome. He walked over to the closet door and fingered one of the skirts hanging there. "Francine said there was nothing she could do. The jerk falsifies a medical release, and the section chief says her hands are tied. She said even the director wasn't going to help."

Seeing he was upset, Sarah walked over and placed a hand on Matt's arm. "Why?"

"They're throwing you under the bus. Until Chen finishes his investigation, they're letting Wong have his way. More ammunition. But at your expense."

Sarah placed her other hand on Matt's shoulder and turned her towards him. "They aren't throwing me under the bus. Richard Wong did that. If he gets nailed for harassment, fraud, and whatever else they can put on him, they won't have to fire him. He'll be arrested and gone from the Agency forever. He won't be able to do this to anyone else. He stepped over a line by falsifying records. You know that."

Matt was still nonplussed. "Yeah. But why did he think he could get away with it? Something else is going on."

"I don't know, but I have a feeling Gil Barclay and Francine do. And I also am certain that we have to trust the Lord."

After staring at Sarah for a moment, Matt drew her into his arms. "This is why you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You keep reminding me about Who is in charge and Who is watching over us. It's only three weeks, hopefully. The Lord went through far more than this. I guess He can help us through it." He touched his lips to her forehead. "Let's pray, sweetie."

Sarah hugged her husband back. "That's an excellent idea, my love."

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

"So, you're saying that Wong forced her to test today, she ended up in Medical, and she's getting on a train to New York in less than two days? How is this possible?" Lee's voice rose as he spoke, ending in a bellow that echoed off the walls in Farnsworth Manor's sunroom.

Amanda rushed over to him and placed a hand on his arm. "Lee! Keep your voice down. Everyone is in mourning here."

Lee Stetson looked abashed for a moment, but he was still simmering.

Francine stood to pace. "I'm so sorry to put her through this, but if we're going to make charges against Richard Wong stick, we have to let him dig as deep a hole as possible."

"Lee has a point, Francine. Is it really worth ruining our daughter's health? She hasn't recovered from nearly bleeding to death just a little more than two weeks ago."

"I spoke with Fitzgerald. He assured me that Sarah was fit for desk duty when she left his department. I also know she's taking the prescription she needs, and she's shown improvement since she was last at the doctor."

Lee kept his voice to a low growl. "How in the hell would you even know that? What about patient confidentiality? Sarah's doctor is private sector."

"I know it's illegal, but Phillip hacked her records. Please know that I made sure I wasn't sending Sarah off to her death before I let Wong get away with his crap. And trust me, Phillip gave me an earful, too. He was more angry than you are, Lee."

Contemplating that news, Lee sat down. "Phillip has been good to Sarah since the miscarriage—since before that, I guess."

Still standing nearby, Amanda placed a hand on his shoulder. "If anyone understands what Matt and Sarah went through, it would be Phillip and Amy."

Sighing, Lee seemed to have lost his energy. "Yeah." He patted Amanda's hand and grew thoughtful for a moment. Then he turned back to Francine. "Is there anything we can do to make it easier for Sarah?"

"I've already made sure she had a decent studio apartment. It's not Manhattan, but she'll be safe enough carrying her Glock. Larry Chen spoke to a buddy of his—they'll make sure she has a ride to and from the apartment every day."

"What if someone in the New York office has a big mouth?" Lee caught Amanda by the hand and did not let go as he drew her down onto the sofa beside him.

"Chen trusts this fellow—another Larry—Larry Sanders. Apparently Sanders saved his life while they were on assignment in the Caribbean once. He's a big guy, too, so he'll be a great partner-slash-bodyguard."

"I've worked with the guy a few times, but I never learned much about his personal life. He's rather tight-lipped." Lee frowned. "Is he still happily married, I hope?"

Francine's laugh eased the tension. "He's a grandfather—but just barely. And yes, he's happily married. He and his wife Linda are both friends with Chen."

"Why haven't we seen much of him?"

"He was working out of Puerto Rico and Miami for years." Francine's phone buzzed. "Look, I have to get this. I have a few phone calls to catch up on. I'll see you two at dinner."

The Stetsons offered Francine a wave as she rushed out the door and down the hallway.

Amanda sighed as she turned back to her husband. "Look, Lee. We are just going to have to trust Sarah to take care of herself. Quite honestly, it's a little hard not to worry about her after what's happened over the last few months."

"You're not convincing me, Amanda."

"Let me finish. She needs our support, Lee. We've had this discussion before. She isn't perfect, but she tries so hard to be."

Lee sighed. "Yeah, I know the drill. I'm in no position to judge. She's her own worst critic. And if you are going to be honest, she's as determined to do her job to the best of her ability as her mother has always been."

"Yeah, and I often paid the price, just as she has. We have to hope that she won't make herself sick with overwork, going back to early. The best way to do that is to be encouraging so she won't be so hard on herself."

"Yes, I know that, Amanda." Lee grew a little impatient. "You've pulled that psychology on me." When there was no response, his expression softened. Placing an arm around Amanda's shoulders, his voice was gentle. "Hey. I'm sorry. I know you're just as worried about her as I am."

Leaning into her husband, Amanda dropped her head to his shoulder. "Life stinks sometimes. But we just have to roll with it."

Lee pulled Amanda onto his lap—her legs were draped crosswise over his and he held her tightly in his arms. "That's right. But it can't hurt to give Larry Sanders a call."

"Lee! I said encourage her, not fight her battles for her." Amanda tried to push away from Lee, but he held her fast.

"It's just a phone call."

Amanda eyed her husband. "Sure, Stetson. Sure."


	6. Chapter 6

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Six

Maneuvering the Charger into the drop off lane, Matt wished for a split second that he had parked. It would have been nice to see Sarah off properly. But she had been right. It would have been harder to do it any other way. He put the car into park and set the brake.

While it had been Matt who had needed the consoling Friday afternoon, as they lay in bed last night it had been Sarah who had needed the consoling. She had insisted that squeezing in the church service that morning had helped. But he prayed she would not be crying herself to sleep at night in New York. At least she was not crying right now.

"You have everything you need, I'm sure. But if you think of anything, let me know. We can use the Agency courier system if it isn't too bulky." At Sarah's nod, he continued. "And please don't forget the trick I taught you to use for your door."

"I won't forget, honey."

Perhaps it was the paleness of her skin or just her mood, but Matt felt as if he was looking at a much younger version of his wife. She seemed very vulnerable at the moment. He reached over and pulled her toward him so they could hug awkwardly over the console. "I love you like crazy."

He felt, more than heard, the swallow. She was fighting tears. "I love you like crazy, too."

"If you can't call or text me, it's okay."

"It won't be okay. I'll make sure I stay in touch whenever they let me."

Matt glanced up into the rearview mirror. Cars were piling up in the lane. He would have to move soon. "Let me get your suitcase out."

"Matt, wait." Sarah's eyes were wide, pleading, as she rushed through her words. "We can't let this hurt our marriage. If we find ourselves drifting apart, I'm quitting. I mean it. I know you've been trying to encourage me to follow my dreams, but this can't be long term. If we can't figure something out, I'm quitting."

He caressed her face. "I'm hoping you won't have to. Remember what I said. It will be an opportunity for experience in another office. Short term." He kissed her quickly. "We really need to get you to that train."

Within just a few minutes, Sarah had her suitcases and was disappearing into the crowd. Matt glanced one last time in her direction before pulling away from the curb.

Somehow he made it all the way to the expressway before he felt the first tear on his cheek. He prayed that Sarah was not crying, too.

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Settled into her seat for the three-hour journey to New York City, Sarah gazed out the window of the passenger train, avoiding the eyes of the other passengers in the surrounding rows and the elderly man seated next to her. At least she would not have to use public transportation once she was in New York. The Agency was sending a car to meet her at the station.

During the last forty-eight hours, Sarah had wondered several times if her job was worth all of the agony it had caused her and her family, particularly her husband. While she had been trying to put on a brave front and encourage her husband two days before, her charade had fallen apart as they had gone to bed last night. Once Matt had tucked his body up against hers, the realization had hit her that it would be weeks before they could be together like that again. Then it had been Matt who had held her, offered her tissues, and spoken soothing words in her ear before she had finally fallen into a restless sleep.

A feeling of shame overwhelmed Sarah as she stared out the train window. _I should have been cheerful for Matt last night. It was our last night together, and I kept him awake with my pity party. That poor man is always handing me a tissue or a cup of tea, making my dinner, or doing my laundry._ The list stretched on in Sarah's mind. _What if he gets tired of being the one to hold things up?_ _This has got to stop._

However, the alternatives looked bleak. If they were ever going to buy a house, Sarah would need to continue to work full time. But where? It did not help that she had run up a huge medical bill at the hospital just a couple of weeks earlier. Matt had reassured her that they had enough money in their short-term savings to pay the bills after the insurance company had settled their end of things, but Sarah could not shake the feeling that she was just adding another burden.

The cry of a small child in a nearby seat reminded Sarah of the largest burden of all. If she had not lost their baby, she would be nearly four months pregnant and just beginning to show. A sob welled up, but Sarah pressed it down. _Stop all of this. You're going to end up in a puddle on the floor. You've got to get your mind on something else._ Reaching for her purse, Sarah pulled out her Kindle and tried to read.

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Picking up the binoculars yet again, Sarah scanned the harbor, checking for suspicious activity. In the seat beside her, Larry Sanders stretched his large frame. While he was a seasoned professional and had been all business from the day they had met, at the moment he seemed more interested in her than the surveillance assignment. While they had been working together for a few days, she had not learned much about him. Like many in their business, the man had been reticent at first, but he had been observing her. Sarah had not been sure if Larry was sizing her up or trying to win her trust.

Deciding to chalk it up to fatherly concern, Sarah felt at ease around the man. He and his wife had been together when they had picked her up from the train station. It had been Linda who had insisted she inspect the studio apartment with Sarah. After producing a bag of fresh fruit and snacks, which she left on the kitchenette's counter, she had checked the cupboards and drawers to make sure Sarah had clean linens and some basic kitchen tools.

Larry had protested at his wife's mothering. "Woman, this is Amanda Stetson's daughter," he growled. "She'll be fine."

Linda did not bat an eye at her husband's gruffness. Apparently she did not take his bear-like attitude seriously. "Yes, and I want to be able to tell Amanda when I see her next that I looked after her sweet girl."

Sarah had been able to tell by the look that passed between them that somehow Linda Sanders knew more about Sarah than she was letting on. Sarah still wondered if Francine had called Larry and told him everything. It would explain why he took her on as his partner when he normally rode a desk and why, during the last few days when they had conducted surveillance together, he had insisted she eat some of the food his wife had packed. The sandwiches were hearty—although it was difficult for Sarah to eat more than half of one—and there was always a salad or a piece of fruit to round out the meal. It was a good thing Linda Sanders could not see what Sarah had eaten for dinner the last three nights.

One thing Larry Sanders did a lot of was eat. Sarah guessed he worked out, although some of his indulgence was showing on his large frame. He was muscular, but he was also a bit padded around the middle. As they sat in the car together on the docks, Sarah watched out of the corner of her eye as her temporary partner finished off a cookie. She went back to concentrating on the binoculars, but now she sensed Larry's attention was focused on her.

"So, I'm going to come out and ask it. How did Scarecrow's kid end up in the field? I've always heard that he swore up and down that his daughter would never end up as a spook. He must have finally admitted to your potential."

Sarah kept scanning the surrounding docks as she replied. "He did his best to keep me out of the field. What about your kids?"

"Oh, they never had the slightest interest." He shifted in his seat. "Didn't you go to NYU or something? What was your major?"

"History." Sarah was certain Sanders had already read her background information, but she humored him. She had learned in her training that there was something to be gained by asking questions for which one already knew the answers. Other things could be learned, too. For one thing, it was a way to measure integrity and trustworthiness.

"Uh huh. I think I see where this is going. And you went on to grad school, right?"

"Yes."

"Let me guess. History, right?"

Sarah reddened a little, but remained focused on her task. "Yes. Specializing in the Cold War era and the nations that emerged from the breakdown of communism in eastern Europe."

"Sounds like you should be in Analysis, not sitting on a dock with an old geezer."

When Sarah did not reply, Sanders pressed on, but his tone was gentle. "I'm guessing you weren't expecting to end up back in New York, hours away from your husband."

Sighing, Sarah was not sure how to answer. "Well, it's only temporary." She glanced down at her suit. "If you don't mind me pointing this out, I thought I was supposed to dress in business attire for this assignment."

"You are. But I needed to see what your deal was first."

"My deal?"

"Some agents would be angry over being reassigned—or not getting their promised assignment."

"And you've already decided whether I was angry—or not?"

"I'm thinking you know more about why you were reassigned than Wong thinks you do."

When Sarah did not answer again, Sanders smiled. "It's all good, Sarah. It's all good. Spooks don't talk about spooks investigating spooks. I'm glad to see you don't run off at the mouth. You were raised well, but that's no surprise."

"Are you saying that this is not really my assignment? That I'm not supposed to be looking for activity at the docks?"

"Oh, this has been for real. But we really need help downtown. You won't have to be on your feet too much, so Fitzgerald will be happy. But the hours will be long."

"Fitzgerald? But Wong sent through papers saying I was cleared for duty."

"Yes, he did. But I have a source in D.C., and that source seems to be rather protective of you." When Sarah started to speak, Sanders held up his hand. "Before you start guessing, I'm sworn to secrecy. If you don't know, Wong can't find out who it is. That man is keeping an eye on you." Larry regarded Sarah for a moment, watching her frustrated expression as she picked up the binoculars again. "I will tell you it isn't your husband. I haven't met Granger. But he must be pretty special if your dad let him marry you."

Sarah sighed unhappily. She was not about to tell Larry Sanders, however fatherly and kind he was, that she missed her husband terribly. She only affirmed, "He is pretty special."

Larry reached for the key and turned the ignition. "Let's head on back. I need to brief you on your assignment. You start bright and early tomorrow morning."

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Rolling onto his side, Matt picked up his phone and checked the time. Two-thirty in the morning. It had been four hours since and Sarah had reluctantly ended their call, and he had slept for perhaps an hour of that time. He said a quick prayer, hoping that Sarah would be sleeping better than he was. Certainly she needed all the rest she could get. His stomach tightened when he thought of all she had been through. _Why, Lord?_ He wailed inside his head. _Why does life have to be so hard for her?_ It had always given him pause to wonder at the way she had embraced her faith. When he had begun taking her to church nearly a year ago, it was like watching a thirsty traveler find water. Sharing that faith with Sarah had been the biggest reason he had first considered marriage with her. With all they had happened in the last year, certainly it was that faith that had carried them through.

Now Matt found himself wondering how much stress and hardship one could endure. Not even three weeks ago he had been holding vigil at her bedside in an intensive care unit, wondering if Sarah would live or die. In the midst of that wretched memory, Matt felt a flicker of hope. While Sarah had not had a chance to fully recover from the miscarriage, Matt had felt some measure of peace that God would watch over his wife. Being separated for less than a month was not the end of the world. He and Sarah would only be a few hours apart by train. It sounded like she had a comfortable little apartment—just big enough for sleeping and eating. A grocery store was just a few doors away from her apartment, and there were several restaurants—Mom and Pop establishments—offering decent food nearby. On top of that, Sarah was getting a ride to and from work. But was Sarah eating? The last two times they had talked, it had been just before bed and it had sounded like she had barely eaten two meals that day. He rolled onto his back and tried not to start worrying, reminding himself yet again that they would not be apart for more than a few weeks.

Matt had served in the Army with men and women who had been separated from their spouses for many months at a time. And sometimes those men and women did that multiple times. But even with this assignment only lasting a few weeks, there was no end in sight to that lifestyle for them unless he and Sarah could transfer together somewhere. Waiting to hear from his contacts in San Antonio had been excruciating.

 _Why, Lord? Why does all of this have to be so hard?_ Exhausted now from his troubled thoughts, Matt could only offer up an incoherent prayer that ended as he fell into a troubled sleep.

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When Larry Sanders had said he had a different assignment for Sarah, he had been correct. However, it did not seem much different when Sarah considered what she had done all day for three days running. Since eight o'clock that morning, she had been one of three agents tasked with watching the comings and goings of an investment firm near Wall Street. Stationed in an office across the street, each of the agents had taken turns monitoring surveillance video, watching the entrance and windows with binoculars, and running technical equipment that was capable of monitoring internet and phone use.

She was dead on her feet by the time one of the other agents had dropped her off at her apartment building that evening. Since she had gotten home early enough for dinner, it would have been fairly easy to buy a couple of tacos at the restaurant nearby. But Sarah did not want to go to even that much trouble.

After checking to see the little slip of paper that served as her "intruder alarm" was still in place, Sarah retrieved it and let herself in her apartment. Stripping down to just a blouse and pair of athletic shorts, Sarah padded to the kitchenette and made a peanut butter sandwich for herself. She had eaten Chinese food—with plenty of vegetables—earlier. This would do for tonight. The jam had chunks of fruit in it, she justified to herself. _Grandma would have a fit if she could see me._

A sudden inspiration had her going to the grocery bag that Linda Sanders had left on the counter. Sarah had gotten as far as putting the fruit in the refrigerator, but she had been so tired that day, she had not finished emptying the bag. Now the fruit was long gone, but in the bottom of the grocery bag there were small containers of applesauce still waiting to be eaten.

She was just throwing out her trash and heading into the bathroom to brush her teeth when her phone rang. She ran to answer it. "Matt!"

"Hey, beautiful."

"I'm sorry I didn't call you this morning. We had to run surveillance on a late meeting after being on site all day. Then I overslept."

"It's okay, hon."

She sighed heavily. "I never get a chance to call once I leave the apartment. Usually I get a ride from a fellow agent and we talk shop the entire way. I don't even get a break at lunchtime, and they get on my case if I'm gone to the restroom for more than a few minutes."

"I know. It's hard being a freshman agent. I'm sorry, hon. I knew this would happen."

"I think they're grumpy because we spent a boring day watching a closed business. It was Saturday." Sarah could not tell Matt they were running surveillance in the financial district, watching the movements of a group of men suspected of funding terrorists. It was quite likely that they might come into the office during the weekend when they were less likely to be observed participating in suspicious activities. At least it had been quiet enough for Sarah to text Phillip about Matt's birthday gift. She had even managed to slip a birthday card for Matt in the mail and order her father's gift online.

"Hey! You're off tonight, right? Be glad about that. We get to talk."

"But you had to call me."

"I'm just impatient like that." He laughed a little. "I'm sure you would have called me."

"Yes. I was planning to. I just finished dinner."

"I won't ask what you ate."

It was Sarah's turn to chuckle. "Good idea. At least I ate, right?" She sat down on the edge of the bed. "So, how was your day?"

There was a pause on the other end, as if Matt was debating what to share with her. Certainly if he had stuck to their usual routine, he would be reluctant to tell her so. But they needed to be open with one another and she could not let him coddle her.

"Did you go for a run in the greenbelt this morning? It looked like you had nice weather for it."

There was a slight hesitation again. "Yes. And it was nice. Afterwards I met Jamie and the boys and we shot some hoops together. We grabbed burgers for lunch and took them to their house so Jennifer could have one, too. Then she sent some leftover casserole home with me."

"I bet it was tasty. I like Jennifer's casseroles."

Matt laughed lightly. "You're not the only one. Seth and David were pestering their mother for samples while she was dishing it out into a container. She snuck a few brownies in the bag when they weren't looking. She said to send you a hug from her. I think she planned to text you, too."

"I did get a text. I managed to answer it, too."

"At least you can text a little." Matt was quiet again for a moment. His voice was soft as he spoke again. "Patti's shower was today. I gave Rene a gift card from us—he said he would take it to the shower so Patti could open it there."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I should have gotten the gift." Sarah felt a selfish measure of relief she had not been able to go to the shower. She knew that Patti had more than one pregnant friend attending, and the hostess had two children of her own.

Matt seemed to read her thoughts. "It's better this way, hon. You never had a chance to go shopping, and…"

"…it would have been hard to go." She sighed, feeling a lump forming in her throat.

"I wish I could give you a hug right now. I'm sorry I brought that all up."

"Don't apologize. I wish I could hug you, too. It still hurts for both of us, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." They were both silent for a time. "Listen, I know you have to work tomorrow, but I was wondering if you might have an evening off this week. I could come up and spend the night. If you had time, I could take you to dinner, or we could just hang out at your apartment."

"Oh! You want to come up for your birthday. I just sent you a card."

"Well, it's also our four-month anniversary and coming up on the anniversary of the day we met. I thought we could have a little celebration for that."

"Of course we need to be together for your birthday. Listen, the lead agent—Gary Carter—is pretty strict, but he's not an animal. I'll see what I can do. It might be the day before, though. Thursdays seem pretty crazy at that place were watching and we had to stay late this past week. Wednesday would be better."

"I have to clear it with Francine and make sure Rene can cover for me. I'd catch the early afternoon express train."

"I wish I could meet you at the station."

"Well, I'm not even sure I can come up. Rene and I will need to have our case wrapped up by then. Wednesday might be pushing it."

Sarah tried not to sound deflated. "Well, let's just not count on it, then. I'll still talk to the lead agent."

"I'll do my best, Sarah."

"Maybe I can come home sometime soon. This case may go on longer than three weeks. We haven't had much luck so far." Sarah knew her chances of being allowed even a day's leave on this case were slim to none. She would need a reassignment from Gil Barclay himself if she had a hope of leaving New York in the next few weeks. But she wanted to hope.

If Matt seemed to think the same thing, he did not let her know. "I would love to talk with you all night, beloved, but you need to get some sleep. I can tell you're tired."

"I am tired. But I think I'm getting better. I'm not as winded on the stairs in my apartment building now."

"That's good news." She could hear Matt shifting position. Soon she knew why. He had been reaching for his Bible. "Listen, since you're going to miss church tomorrow, I thought we could read a few verses and pray before we say goodbye."

Now Sarah almost did start to sob, but she managed, "That's really thoughtful. I'd like that."

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Matt was reading through a report from Analysis when his phone rang. Expecting it to be Rene, whom he had shooed out of the bullpen an hour earlier, he almost did not bother to check the screen. Once he did see who was calling, he scrambled to answer.

"Amanda! This is a surprise."

"Hello, Matt. I'm sorry to pester you at work, but Lee and I were hoping you could join us for dinner. He's grilling steaks and vegetables."

"Oh, I don't know. Amanda. You and Lee just got home yesterday. And you were at your friend's funeral, on top of that." His mind warred with the words coming from his mouth. _Admit it, Granger. You don't want to go home to that lonely apartment again._

"Well, we have to eat, and Lee is doing all the work. Besides, you can distract us from thinking about Emily. We bought an extra steak for you, but I was afraid to call earlier. Sarah told me you and Rene were busy on a case this week."

"We were busy. I sent him home an hour ago. I'm just finishing up for the day."

"Good. Then we'll see you in about a half an hour?"

Matt chuckled. Amanda Stetson had been this persistent—and hospitable—when he worked under her. Sarah had inherited the same qualities from her mother, and it had endeared Sarah to him early on in their relationship. "I'll be there. Thanks."

Just as Amanda had guessed, Matt pulled the Volvo up to the curb on Maplewood Drive a half an hour after his phone call with Amanda. By the time he exited the car, Lee had appeared on the driveway. "Hey, son. Come on around back. I'm already grilling." He waited for Matt to join him before heading to the backyard.

"Mmm. I can smell the steaks from here."

"Got some nice ones." Lee watched Matt as he held the gate for the younger man. "I noticed you drove the Volvo. Is it holding up well? It won't be long before it needs its yearly maintenance."

"It's a great car. I'm sure Sarah misses driving it. I thought it would be good to alternate cars so it doesn't sit too much."

Lee regarded Matt thoughtfully. "That's smart."

Matt sighed but did not reply right away. He gazed around the backyard. "The flowers are nice."

Following his gaze, Lee replied, "Yep. Amanda has always had a way with flowers. Dotty made sure there were bulbs in the spring every year, and Amanda has kept up the tradition."

"They are a little late blooming this year. What Lee isn't telling you is that he has helped dig up those daffodils and separate them every few seasons. Hello, Matt." Amanda stepped over to Matt and gave him a hug before continuing her short ramble. "They wouldn't look so nice if it weren't for his help."

Reddening a little, Lee turned to the steaks and checked them. "I figured it was the least I owed your mother after trampling them for years."

Matt chuckled and sat down. He had heard the stories of Lee's clandestine visits when he and Amanda had first been partners. Amanda handed an open beer bottle to Matt.

"Thanks." He took a sip. "You know, it really was nice of you both to invite me over tonight. I'm sure you're still busy settling in after your trip."

"Nonsense," Amanda was quick to assure him. "It's our pleasure." She glanced at Lee but did not say anything more.

"The truth is, I've been slacking off on making dinner lately. With this last case, I've been getting home late some nights and it didn't seem worth it to cook for one person. Most of the leftovers from when Sarah came home from the hospital are gone now." Matt tried to sound upbeat, but he was aware that he was not being very successful.

If Lee or Amanda noticed, neither one commented. "Maybe I could send a few things from our freezer home with you. You could make yourself some grilled chicken sandwiches. I think I even have a small meatloaf."

Matt's eyebrows lifted and he grinned a little. "That's quite a coincidence, seeing how I like your meatloaf."

Lee guffawed at Matt's reaction. "Amanda, you're going to have to work on your subtlety. Matt's on to you."

Grinning self-consciously, Amanda countered, "I guess I've lost my touch. I hope you don't mind a little mothering, Matt. I've been thinking of you kicking around that townhouse by yourself. I always missed Lee when he would go off on an assignment without me."

Matt was relieved when Lee spoke before he could reply. "Well, these steaks are done to perfection, along with the vegetables. Let's head on inside."

Amanda held the door for the two men, who both carried platters of food, while she brought in the barbecue tools.

As Matt set the platter of vegetables on the counter, he noticed a birthday cake sitting there.

Amanda did not fail to notice her son-in-law eyeing the cake. "I know we planned a family birthday party on Sunday for you, Lee, and Jamie, but…"

Lee wrapped an arm around Amanda's waist. She glanced up at him and continued. "We weren't sure if you were going to be in New York on your actual birthday, so we wanted to be sure you had a cake to take home and a nice meal. I baked the cake and Lee made the dinner."

"I hope you don't mind celebrating with us," Lee added. "It stinks that Sarah can't be here, and we're not a good substitute."

Touched by his in-laws' thoughtfulness, Matt cleared his throat. "We all miss Sarah, but you're both great company. This means a lot." He turned to Lee. "Your birthday is this weekend."

Amanda was apologetic. "We used to have everyone get together for birthday dinners during the week on the actual day, but things got in the way and now we just celebrate during the family get-togethers." She glanced at Lee. "At least the family dinner is just the day after Lee's birthday this year."

Soon they were seated around the table. Matt felt obliged to tell them his plans. "Your timing was perfect for this, by the way. I'm going up to see Sarah tomorrow night."

Amanda smiled knowingly. "Actually, she told us you were going. That's why we had you over tonight. It's nice that you get to spend your birthday with her."

"Well, not exactly. I'm just going for the night. She has to work a long day on Thursday. Rene and Patti invited me over for enchiladas Thursday night."

"That's perfect," Amanda enthused. "You love Mexican food."

"Except I'm feeling a bit guilty. Rene says Patti's been having a lot of contractions. The doctor says everything is fine, but they may have the baby a little earlier than they originally thought."

Matt noticed Lee and Amanda exchanging glances. He imagined they were aware that the birth of Rene and Patti's baby would be bittersweet for both Matt and Sarah.

It was Lee who attempted to change the subject. "This whole thing with Sarah working in New York City stinks, Matt. She wasn't well enough to go."

"Dr. Fitzgerald fought the whole thing, but there wasn't much he could do." Matt wished he could tell Lee and Amanda about Chen's investigation.

"Well, I know it was presumptuous of me, but I talked to Tristan Bates about having you and Sarah take an assignment in England for a while. Unfortunately, it might not be permanent, and you would lose your position here in D.C. You might not be able to come back."

When Matt did not respond right away, Lee was apologetic. "I'm sorry. I suppose you're frustrated with me for meddling."

"Oh no. Not at all. It's just that I've been in contact with the San Antonio office and there's a good chance they might be able to let us transfer there—maybe on a permanent basis. I'm speaking completely out of turn here, though. Sarah doesn't know—I don't even know if it will work out. I didn't want to upset you about it."

Lee and Amanda exchanged glances, and Matt watched worriedly.

"Actually, we'd much rather have you together in Texas near your family, with no fear of being kept apart, than in a temporary position in England."

Concerned still, Matt persisted. "I've just been so torn about taking Sarah away from y'all." A shadow passed over his face.

Amanda reached out to place a hand on Matt's for a moment. "This might not be such a bad thing in the long run, Matt. It would further both of your careers to work in other offices."

"That's kind to say, Amanda, but I know the timing stinks for taking Sarah away, what with the miscarriage and all."

Lee leaned forward in his seat. "Listen, Matt. I'm not a praying man, but I can see how God sometimes works things out for us. At least I'd like to believe it's God and not just some impersonal thing called fate or random chance.

"Since Sarah has met you she's changed for the good. I'm proud of the confident young woman our daughter has become, and I think you've helped her get there. This whole business with the baby was an awful thing, and I wish I knew why you two had to go through it, but I'm glad Sarah had you to help her. You had no way of knowing she was going to miscarry—and definitely not in the way she did. Hell, you saved her life. The fact that you're helping her now is just one more reason I'm glad she has you in her life." Lee sat back and smiled. "Geez. If you have to take my daughter away from me, at least it's to Texas. This is a great excuse to go try out some barbecue."

Silently Matt digested the words. It was at least a minute before he responded to Lee. "I don't deserve all of this."

Watching Matt's expression, Amanda rejoined, "Yes, you do."

Nodding now, Matt knew it was futile to argue further. Lee could not tell if he was completely accepting his words, however he seemed to be making an attempt to do that.

"I want you to know I appreciate what you did for us in England."

"Of course. But like I said, you may be better off in San Antonio. It's always better to work in the States if you can." Lee was thoughtful, as if debating whether to share further information. Finally, he leaned forward again. "If you don't go to England now, you might be needed in the future. Bates told me he and Emily had a lot of long term plans."

Matt nodded again. "But I really need to talk to Sarah about both. I'm assuming we'd live at Farnsworth Manor?"

"For however long the assignment lasts." Lee grew thoughtful. "But you're right. Let's not tell Sarah, yet." He glanced at Amanda for support. "She's been through so much, I'd hate to get her hopes up before either offer was serious."

"I agree, Lee." Amanda watched Matt. Her son-in-law did not look happy.

"I already feel uncomfortable not telling Sarah about the possibility in Texas. People need a little hope, sometimes. But it would be awful for her if we had to dash those hopes."

Lee's expression was sympathetic. "I can tell you've been stewing over all of this, son." He looked up at Amanda. "There's nothing we can do tonight about all of this. Let's have some cake."


	7. Chapter 7

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Seven

Wearily, Sarah trudged up the last flight of stairs. When she had spoken to Matt the day before, he had still not been able to confirm he was coming to visit. Nevertheless, Gary Carter, the lead agent, had taken pity on her and called it a day as things had grown quiet. It was not as early as she had hoped, but it was still only a little after six o'clock. Just a few more yards and she could take off her shoes, her shoulder holster, and her business suit. Exhausted and overly warm in the late spring New York humidity, she had it all worked out in her head. _Maybe I'll eat a peanut butter sandwich while I take a bath. I can kill two birds with one stone and get to bed sooner._

The key already in her hand, Sarah reached to place it in the deadbolt. Out of habit, she glanced to the other side of the door to check for the small piece of paper she had wedged in against the doorjamb, fully expecting to pull it from its place and use it again the next morning.

But the paper was missing.

Her senses on full alert now, Sarah fumbled with the lock, stalling for time. Any intruder would be fully aware of her presence, if they did not know already. She did not want her hesitation to give away the fact that she knew someone had broken into her apartment. She thought briefly about calling for backup, but dismissed the idea. _I have been pretty tired lately,_ she considered to herself _. What if I forgot the slip of paper this time?_ Sarah hoped that she had simply been forgetful, but she knew better than to take any chances.

With her other hand, she reached for her Glock, thankful that she had learned to live without a purse and was not encumbered. She yawned—it was meant to throw off any intruders, but it was not much of an act.

Pushing the door open wide, Sarah slipped into the room along the wall. No one attempted to slam the door against her as she entered the apartment, so that was a good sign. Although it was still light out, the east-facing windows of her apartment allowed little natural light at this time of day. Coming from the fully-lit hallway, the small studio appeared nearly dark. She pulled back the slide on her handgun.

"Don't shoot me, sweetie. I was hoping to make it to twenty-six."

Sarah's eyes flew in the direction of the bed. A man who sounded like Matt and held the same general shape of her husband was perched on the edge. It was apparent in the dim late afternoon light that he had been sleeping there. She peered at him a moment and carefully set the handgun on a nearby table.

"Matt?" Sarah choked out her husband's name. Not sure whether to laugh or cry, she closed the door, turned on the lights, and threw herself at her husband.

"Umph." He chuckled a little, catching Sarah and wrapping his arms around her as she fell into his lap. After an enthusiastic kiss, they sat silently and stared at each other for a moment. Matt marveled at finally having his wife in his arms once again.

Sarah was overjoyed not only at seeing the man whom she had missed so terribly, but at the idea of seeing a familiar face. "Thank you for coming. Thank you so much." She hugged him tightly, her head against his chest.

"Hey, I couldn't miss our anniversary." His hand ran up and down her back idly, enjoying the moment.

"But it's your birthday, and only our four-month anniversary." Lifting her head, Sarah had a mischievous expression on her face. "You know, you broke into my apartment again. Old habits seem to die hard with you."

Matt stared at Sarah, uncomprehending. "But you had that key sent to me." Then realization dawned on him, and he grew sheepish. "Oh, yeah. You haven't forgotten how I broke into your apartment at Georgetown and your apartment at your parents' house."

"You just like stalking me, that's all."

"That's right." He smirked and glanced at her handgun. "But it's just a little too dangerous. I think I'll back off."

She frowned in return. "You aren't going to let me live this one down. I was just using the 'alarm system' you told me to use."

"And you executed it perfectly." Matt kissed her forehead. "I could have been a baddie."

"Well, I'm very glad it's you." Sarah stood, reluctantly, and busied herself with taking the magazine from her Glock and checking for rounds in the barrel. Satisfied, she placed everything in the bedside table drawer before going to the closet and slipping off her shoes, removing her shoulder holster, and hanging up her suit jacket. Matt watched with unabashed interest as she unzipped her skirt, slipped it off, and went to work on her stockings.

"It's so good to see you." Matt gazed at his wife, and she paused to stare back at him for a moment, fully aware of the double meaning of his words. She was thin, as he had expected she might be, but her color was a little better. Perhaps it was the excitement of thinking there had been an intruder in her apartment. Watching Sarah's expression, he hoped it was more than that, however.

All his plans to present the flowers to her, watch her open the card, and drink champagne together were quickly going out the window. Her long, slender legs had always been an enticement, and now that she had removed her skirt, they definitely were now. It had been over a month since they had last… He sat frozen in place, watching her. Waiting for dinner was sounding better and better. Before he could say anything, however, she had stepped into the bathroom.

"I'll be right out," she tossed over her shoulder.

Matt's mind was focused on one thing. He planned to be ready when Sarah came out of that bathroom. He rose from the bed and stepped out of his shoes. Then he checked himself. It had only been a few weeks since he had found Sarah, barely conscious, in the shower. What was he thinking?

Hearing her in the bathroom, he envisioned Sarah in her state of undress and faltered once again. He knew his fears were probably irrational. From the look on Sarah's face, he was fairly certain she knew what he had been thinking. And she had not seemed to mind. In fact, she seemed to welcome it.

Going to the kitchenette, Matt retrieved the vase of flowers and the card and brought them to the bedside table. He made another trip and brought the chilled champagne and the fluted glasses and set them on the other bedside table. After turning down the bed, he pulled off his belt and began to unbutton the top button of his jeans, but he stopped himself. _What if she hasn't taken her pills?_ He had brought something with him, but doubted the wisdom of even considering what he now wanted so desperately. _What if it's too soon?_ _What if I hurt her?_

The sound of the bathroom door opening stopped Matt's train of thought. Sarah stood there in the same state of undress as when she had entered the bathroom. His heart raced.

 _Slow down, Granger. Take this one step at a time. If it's the right thing to do, you'll know after a few minutes._ For now he would content himself just to hold Sarah in his arms. He sat down on the bed and watched as Sarah walked towards him. It was obvious from her expression that she had not been fretting about what they might be about to do.

"Now do you believe me that's it's not a twin bed?" Sarah grinned mischievously as Matt glanced at the queen size bed.

"Yes. But we would have been fine in a twin," he chuckled as his eyes met hers.

Standing between his legs, Sarah cupped Matt's face in her hands and kissed him. As her hands slid into his hair, he wrapped his arms around her waist and he let his mouth wander along her jaw and down her throat to the open neckline of her blouse.

"Were you thinking of drinking the champagne before or after we—"

Matt froze. "I'm sorry, I should have considered asking you if you were ready for all of this." He pulled back, dropping his hands to his thighs. "I bought some Chinese food down the street, in case you hadn't had dinner. Or you could keep it for leftovers."

"Actually, I haven't eaten yet—at least nothing more than a protein bar late this afternoon." She reached out a hand to caress Matt's shoulder, and then brought her fingers to the top button of Matt's shirt. "But I think we both have our minds on something else."

The bouquet on the bedside table caught her eye and she turned to them, fingering the petals of one of the flowers. "It's your birthday, and you brought me flowers." She reached for the card. "Am I supposed to open this?" At his nod, she slid her finger under the flap and pulled out the card. After reading it a moment, she leaned down and kissed his cheek. "I'm going to save this card. It's really sweet. You always know just what to say."

"I guess it's kind of mushy, but I figured you wouldn't mind."

"I love it. And I wish I'd thought to get an anniversary card. Here you are, celebrating us, when it's your birthday and we should be celebrating you."

"It's our four-month anniversary. And in a couple of weeks, it will be the one-year anniversary of the day we met. Considering how we met, I think I owe you a bouquet of flowers."

Sarah sat down on the bed next to Matt and stared at the flowers for a moment before turning to him. "You don't owe me flowers or a card, but I love having the reminder of our anniversaries." She leaned over and kissed his cheek again. "Thank you." She picked up one of the champagne flutes. "Thank you for the champagne and the Chinese food. You are such a thoughtful man." She placed the glass back on the bedside table. "I love you so much. You keep doing so much for me. I wish I could do something for you—"

Matt stopped her with his mouth on hers. His hands were around her waist, under the blouse, as he reveled in the smoothness of her skin. Sarah tugged at the buttons of his shirt, eventually pulling it free from his pants. When the soft skin of her knuckles brushed his abdomen, he jerked back. Immediately Sarah's eyes met his, and he could see the hurt and confusion there. He looked down at her hands, which had dropped to her lap.

Matt was torn. He desperately wanted to make love to her, but she was so tired. Besides, what if Sarah were to get pregnant now? It had only been a few weeks since her miscarriage. His eyes met hers again, and he could not bear to see the hurt there. Who knew when they would be together again? Matt was anxious to have that connection with his wife.

As if sensing his thoughts, Sarah's expression changed, and she ran her hands over his exposed chest. He cocked his head to one side, watching as one hand slipped under his shirt and around to his back, just skimming the waist of his jeans. He flinched a little, a flicker of pleasure running through his body at her touch. His resolve was weakening quickly.

"Oh, Sarah. I don't want to hurt you. What if you were to get pregnant again?"

Sarah looked into Matt's eyes. "Matt. I'll be okay. I've healed by now." Her eyes shadowed momentarily, but her smile took away his concern. "And I've been taking my pills every day." She pushed his shirt off of his shoulders and he shrugged out of it.

He smoothed the hair away from her face, memorizing each detail of her features as he traced them with his fingertip.

She closed her eyes and sighed, clearly enjoying his touch.

"I love it when you make that sound."

Her voice was just a whisper. "Please love me."

"Oh, Sarah. I want to…" He kissed her temple and ran his hands over her back.

"Please. It won't hurt me."

 _I need to love my wife_ , he thought as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto the bed.

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It was over an hour later that they sat together in the middle of the bed, dipping their chopsticks into the Chinese food containers. Sarah reached over for her champagne flute and took a sip, and then turned back to Matt. "Ready to switch cartons again? I wouldn't mind some more chow mein, and I know you like the beef with broccoli."

"Sure." He eyed her a moment after they had traded the food containers. "You know, you look pretty cute in my shirt. But that leaves me sitting here in only a pair of boxers."

"My plan exactly." Sarah grinned mischievously. "When a girl has a hot husband, she's got to find ways to ogle him whenever possible."

Rolling his eyes, Matt responded, "Oh? Is that why you watched me reheat the food?"

Sarah laughed a little at his discomfort, and he smiled good-naturedly in return. Then she regarded him thoughtfully for a moment before scooting to the edge of the bed. "Maybe I should give you your gift early."

Now he grinned. "You did give me a gift already."

Going along with her husband's playful banter, Sarah rejoined, "Okay, the rest of your gift." She felt his eyes on her as she went to the closet and pulled out a bag.

"You didn't have to give me anything, you know."

"Of course I did. I had some fun getting this one—and picking out the card. I bought another one after I found out you were planning to come here." She handed him the bag.

Matt found the card inside the bag and opened it. Sarah had chosen a serious card, expressing her gratefulness for "all the thoughtful things" he was always doing for her. The message was as mushy as he had expected. "This is really sweet, honey. But do you know how much pleasure it brings me to be able to do things for you?" He touched her cheek and held her eyes with his own. "I know it's hard that we can't be together, and that you want to do things for me, too, but we've had this evening, and it's been pretty special."

"Yes it has." Sarah's eyes were glistening. She swallowed and looked down. "But this can't go on forever. I've thought about getting my teaching credential so I could get a job with one of the school districts. With a Master's, I could be hired at the high school level."

Matt regarded his wife for a long moment. "You didn't tell me about this. Do you really want to leave the Agency?" He had received a call that day during the train ride to New York. The people in San Antonio had no real news, but they had said they were considering his request. Had Matt wrongly assumed that Sarah still wanted to work in Analysis, even if it was not with her brother? He held his breath as he waited for her to answer.

"Truthfully? No. But I don't want to work in the field. And I don't want to live apart from you. No job is worth that." Sarah gestured to the gift bag. "But this is your birthday celebration. You should finish opening your gift."

Reaching inside the gift bag once again, Matt pulled out a box with a familiar logo on it. "How did you get the new iPhone? It's not supposed to be out yet."

"Well… Phillip called me last week to check up on me and I guess I whined about not being able to get you a gift. He told me that he had gotten a shipment of the phones to doctor up for security and offered to send one up here for me to give to you. Honestly, it was more effort to figure out how to pay for it. Phillip did a lot of the legwork for me."

"Well, it was perfect. This is pretty cool. Thanks so much, sweetie." Matt leaned over and kissed Sarah on the cheek. "I guess I should thank Phillip, too."

As he sat back, he grew serious again. "We left an important conversation unfinished. If we could live together in the same city, and you could do analysis work, would you want to stay at the Agency?"

"It would depend upon what you were doing. You have your dream job right now. I'm not making you sacrifice that. I could skip the teaching credential and become an instructor at a community college or work at a private school, if I can't find something at a museum."

Regarding Sarah thoughtfully, Matt did not reply right away.

"Why, what did you have in mind?" Sarah prompted him to respond.

"Nothing, for now." Matt busied himself with removing the phone from the box.

"Are you holding out on me, Agent Granger?"

Glancing up, Matt could see that Sarah would not let the comment go. "There's nothing to say at this point, honey. Honestly." He nodded to the phone in his hands. "For now, why don't you help me set this up?"

Matt could see from his wife's expression that she was frustrated, but he was thankful when she willingly retrieved his old phone from the bedside table and scooted closer so she could peer over his shoulder while he set up the new phone.

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Opening his eyes in the darkened apartment, Matt took a moment to reorient himself. The quiet, even breathing very close by told him that Sarah was still asleep. Without Sarah beside him every night, their bed at home had seemed cold and empty. He had missed waking up next to his wife. But worry was mingled with the pleasure of that experience. He wondered how much sleep she had gotten in the two weeks they had been apart. While her eyes had closed the moment she hit the pillow, he had lain awake, anxious over their possible move to San Antonio or England.

There had also been the guilt that kept him from sleeping, too. He had let something other than his common sense drive their activities earlier in the evening. While Sarah had insisted that she was "back to normal," he could see as the evening wore on that she had grown pale, and shadows had formed under her eyes. Clearly she was exhausted, and he had done nothing to help alleviate that.

Despite that worry, part of Matt wanted to chide himself for going on a guilt trip. Their lovemaking had been…

His memories of the night before were interrupted by the soft, sleepy voice of his wife. "Happy birthday, my love. You have the nicest smile on your face right now."

Rolling onto his side, Matt reached out to brush the hair out of Sarah's eyes. He allowed his hand to linger on her bare shoulder. "Good morning, beautiful. I was remembering last night."

"I bet you weren't thinking of the Chinese food or my gift."

"I think you know what was on my mind." This time that smile was directed at Sarah.

"It was pretty amazing, wasn't it?" She stretched, grinning. "But it had been a while." She grew serious, reaching out to touch Matt's cheek. "I love you so much. There are many wonderful things about being married to you, Mr. Granger."

"It's so good to be with you, and not just talking on the phone."

"I pray all the time that this assignment will end before we're supposed to go to Texas for your grandparents' anniversary party. What if I'm stuck here?"

Matt ran his hand over Sarah's hair. "We can't worry about that, Sarah. We need to trust the Lord." He leaned in to kiss her briefly. "You need to get ready for work."

Matt did not miss the look of disappointment on his wife's face as she sat up in the bed. He sat up with her, holding her hands in his. "I'd like to pray together now, if that's okay."

"Can we pray about whatever plan you have up your sleeve?"

A pang of guilt stabbed at Matt. Perhaps he should tell Sarah. But he could not get her hopes up, only to see them dashed. There had been enough of that in their lives lately. "I promise I'll tell you when I know something. There's nothing to tell right now."

After they prayed, Sarah kept a hold of Matt's hands. "I feel badly that I didn't get you a cake. Would you like to eat at the diner down the block? They make great pancakes."

"You know, I just want you all to myself as long as possible. Didn't I see some muffins in your freezer? And stuff for smoothies?"

"Sure. You know that. Someone who lived here before me probably bought the blender for mixing drinks. It worked out nicely."

"And you have muffins, right?"

"Yes, but they're from a bakery."

"That'll be fine. Do you have any candles around here?"

"I do…" Sarah smiled, finally following Matt's train of thought. Even a large candle in a holder next to a muffin was better than nothing.

Matt grinned back. It was good to see his wife happy.

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Sarah had just put her handgun away in the bedside table when her phone buzzed. Stepping over to see the display, she picked up the phone and answered the call.

"Grace! What a surprise!"

"Oh, really? Don't you have about ten missed calls from me now? I was beginning to get a complex."

"You're persistent, I'll give you that. And it was three calls. I was going to call you tonight. I get very little time to talk on the phone. If you had read my texts, you'd know that."

"I read them." Grace's sarcastic tone softened. "They working you like a dog up there? Sarah, you need to take care of yourself. If not for you, do it for Matt and the rest of your family. They're all worried about you."

Shifting restlessly in her seat at the small kitchenette table, Sarah hesitated before answering. It was hard to lie to Grace. "I suppose I am working hard. But I'm eating and going right to bed once I get off the phone with my husband—who will be calling me in about five or ten minutes if I don't call him first."

"That's just it. When did you eat dinner? Or should I say, what did you eat for dinner?"

"I had Italian for lunch. Salad, pasta, bread. It was filling."

A sigh came over the phone. "Uh huh. And a protein bar for dinner. Oh, Sarah. You are making me sound like my mother." A man's voice grew loud for a moment, and Sarah thought she heard someone calling Grace's name.

"You sound like a friend who cares. Thanks, Grace. How are you doing? Did I just hear a guy talking in the background?"

It was Grace's turn to hesitate, if only for a second or two. "Huh? Oh, that must be the television. Sorry. I forgot to turn it down. I went into my bedroom to change my clothes and decided to give you a call."

Sarah decided not to pursue things further. She knew Grace was not telling the truth, but it would not help to pressure the truth out of her.

Grace changed the subject. "So, are you making friends?"

Sarah kicked off her shoes and went to work on her slacks, trying to undo the top button with one hand. "I made friends with Larry Sanders and his wife. My lead agent doesn't make friends."

"You must have Carter. He'll keep you out of trouble, even if he is pretty stiff."

"Oh, I didn't say he wasn't a pro. But I've seen him head to the bar after work. He can't be too stiff."

"Who else is on your team?"

"It's changed a couple of times. But generally it's people who don't talk much. Since we have to listen in for random conversations and updates from our office, Carter makes us keep it quiet. No cell phones, that sort of thing."

"Sounds like all you do is work. I'd come up for a visit, but you probably wouldn't be there."

Sarah yawned. "I'm so sorry. That yawn just popped out. It's not you."

"I'll let you go, girlfriend. You take care, okay?"

The women exchanged goodbyes. In the split second it took for Grace to end the call, Sarah heard a man's voice again. It did not sound like a television. But Sarah was too tired to give it further thought as she went into the kitchen to pour herself a bowl of cereal. Her stomach would growl all night if she did not eat something.

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Placing his fingers on the clasp of his wife's necklace, Lee unfastened it as he had done many times before. The heart pendant held special meaning for both of them, and Lee had replaced the chain or the clasp for Amanda a few times over the years. Tilting his head to touch his lips to the curve of Amanda's throat, he lingered there.

Leaning up against him, Amanda enjoyed the moment. It was Lee who pulled away.

"You're tired, Mrs. Stetson. Let's get ready for bed."

She knew it would be fruitless to argue. Amanda was tired—and a little down. She knew Lee was, too, so she tried to think of something cheerful to say as she wiped the makeup off of her face. "I thought today's party went well. Both Jamie and Matt seemed to enjoy themselves."

"Sure." Lee was distracted as he reached for his toothbrush. He grabbed Amanda's, realized his mistake, put hers back, and took his instead.

"Phillip was being especially considerate, I noticed. Normally he picks on someone to tease, but he was on his best behavior."

After spitting and rinsing his mouth, Lee replied, "I know you're trying to be upbeat, Amanda, but let's face it. We all missed Sarah tonight. If she were just on an ordinary assignment, we wouldn't have felt that way." In a small fit of anger, he smacked his hand against the counter and winced, regretting his action.

Amanda ran a hand down Lee's arm as she soothed, "We both know Sarah was mistreated by Wong. But we also know that things are in motion to bring Matt and Sarah back together."

"But now she may be moving thousands of miles away. We just got her back a year ago."

"Lee, it may only be for a short time. And we have the freedom to take long weekends to visit them. It's far better that Sarah be doing something where she can use her education and strengths and be happy."

"If her health isn't already ruined."

Taking her husband by the hand, Amanda kissed Lee and drew him towards the bed. "Lee, I think we're both tired. Things will seem better in the morning."

After sliding under the covers, Lee yawned as Amanda snuggled up against him. His voice rumbled as he offered, "Maybe if you don't get up early and stay in bed with me, things will definitely seem better in the morning."

Her voice was sleepy, but Lee detected the note of amusement there. "Is that a promise, Scarecrow?"

Lee caressed his wife briefly, allowing his hand to linger familiarly on her hip. "Yeah. Now go to sleep."

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"You're going to do what?" Surprising himself with his loud response, Matt glanced around the bullpen. One or two other agents, busy at the computers, glanced up briefly. "Hold on, hon." He stood up from his desk, where he had been finishing a report for his latest assignment, and went out into the hallway. Spotting an empty conference room, Matt headed for it and shut himself inside.

"Matt, I can't talk for long." Sarah sounded rushed. "Like I said, we have to be at the new location in an hour. Carter managed to negotiate enough time for us to grab dinner."

Despite his concern for Sarah, Matt was grateful she would not be working all night on an empty stomach. He worried she might faint at an inopportune time, or endanger herself in some other way if she became too exhausted. But he kept his worry to himself. "Sounds like an urgent lead. You guys getting a breakthrough?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry, Matt. I have to go. I'll text you in the morning when I get to my apartment."

"Are you sure you have to work all night? I thought they knew about your health."

"Larry Sanders told me to go home, but the team will be short if I don't go. This could crack things wide open, and I'd get to come home sooner."

"And maybe still come to Texas?"

Sarah's voice faltered a little. "I won't get the entire ten days, but I'd get a few days anyway. I got a desk this morning. During our meeting, Carter and Larry Sanders were talking as if I was permanent."

Matt hesitated, briefly wondering if he should have told Sarah about the job possibility in San Antonio. But there had been no word in over a week. He needed to make another call and check on things.

"Honey, I'm sorry, but they're calling me. I miss you so much."

"I miss you, too. I'm praying for you, okay?"

"Thanks. I love you."

"Love you, too."

Matt stared at his display for a moment, studying the photo of Sarah that always appeared when she called him. It had been taken last week, when he had visited her in New York and she had given him the new phone. Her smile was a happy one, and he recognized the affection in her expression. They had enjoyed a brief few hours together. But the high definition screen also exposed the dark shadows under Sarah's eyes and the pallor of her skin. She was not as pale as she had been in the hospital or in the days after she had come home, but she did not look well.

Relishing the distraction of work, Matt found that he could avoid thinking of Sarah if he kept himself busy enough. Rene, eager to finish their long list of background checks before Patti went into labor, did not mind Matt's driven attitude. However at night, lying alone in bed, Matt had trouble sleeping. It was difficult to keep his mind off of his wife. In the few short months they had been married, he had grown so used to sharing the bed with her that it was now strange to sleep alone. Their one night together in the last three weeks had not been enough.

With Sarah out in the field until late at night, perhaps early in the morning, Matt knew he would worry more than ever. Things could not go on like this anymore. He sat down and prayed for a moment. Then he dialed a phone number with a San Antonio area code.


	8. Chapter 8

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Eight

Larry Chen leaned into the biometric reader and allowed it to scan his retina. After leaving his electronic thumbprint, he made his way to Gil Barclay's office. Barclay, who was working late, rose from his desk to greet him. Soon both men were seated inside the office, behind a closed door.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, sir? Richard Wong could see us on surveillance—for that matter, he could have one of the security guards on his side."

"Relax, Chen. Let Wong sweat, if he sees you meeting with me. I just swept for bugs, so he can't hear us. Besides, I want him to worry about why you're here." Barclay picked up the small stack of files on his desk, a smug smile on his face. "He's going to be very distracted tomorrow morning when he hears about these transfers."

"So, the paperwork went through. Does Granger know, yet?"

"He'll find out tomorrow. We asked San Antonio to keep both Matt and Sarah in the dark until things were finalized." He sighed and smiled sardonically. "Granger has called them more than once, but they haven't returned his calls, poor kid. We want Wong to see the surprise on Matt's face so he won't suspect Granger initiated the transfer. No sense in giving Wong a reason to put the screws to Sarah any more than he has. When this is all over, I'm going to encourage her to press charges, if legal can't find a way to do it themselves."

"Sir, are you sure we need to go through this final step? Why not just end everything now so we can all move on?"

"I hear what you're saying, Chen, but this is not just a personal vendetta for me." Barclay raised an eyebrow and smirked a little. "Although I will get quite a degree of satisfaction out of seeing this to the end. I want to make certain that we have enough on Wong to send him away for a long time. If we provoke him, I think we can get him to play his final hand." Barclay picked up one of the files and fingered it. "I've worked with the Stetsons for a lot of years. Wong has targeted their daughter out of spite for them, but he's also targeted me. I'm going to draw his attention back to me by having Francine send the Grangers to Texas ahead of this transfer. He has family there. She'll call it a forced vacation."

"That's nice for Matt and Sarah, but it could get ugly for you. What if it backfires? What if this smear campaign gets out of control?"

Barclay leaned back in his chair and regarded the younger man for a moment. His voice was solemn as he replied. "I appreciate your concern, Chen, but if it did, then perhaps I would be getting what I deserve. My wife already went through hell, believing I might not have been faithful to her. If it all blows up, I've promised her I'll retire."

"And we'll have to find another director. This place doesn't need the instability."

"I might lose my job anyway." Barclay rose. "Speaking of my wife, I promised I would meet her for dinner. I expect you have plans of your own this evening."

Gil Barclay thought he detected a brief grin on the agent's face, but Chen was not giving away any secrets. "Maybe."

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After three days of working double shifts, Sarah could hardly keep her eyes open. She sat down heavily in her desk chair, wondering how she would stay awake long enough to write a report. She had been part of a team running surveillance at a club owned by a group suspected of funding terrorists, and they had finally obtained enough evidence to arrest three of the men involved. The buzz in the office over the arrest had been obvious when they had walked in the door, and Sarah could still hear people talking about it nearby. She wished she could join in the enthusiasm, but all she wanted to do was go home and go to bed. She opened the application she needed and began the report.

Sometime later, with the report completed, Sarah shut down her computer. Too tired to move, she rested her chin in her hand and closed her eyes.

"Granger! In my office. Now."

Sarah started at Larry Sanders' gruff voice. It was not so hard to imagine being a freshman agent working for her father. At least Larry Sanders was more bark than bite. Or at least he had been so far. Her mother had said something interesting when Sarah had described him.

" _He sounds just like Billy Melrose, the section chief your father and I worked under for years. Even the physical description is similar."_

"Granger!" a voice nearby hissed, bringing Sarah back to the present. "Wake up! Sanders called you."

She had not fallen asleep, but Sarah did not want to argue with Carter. He was only being helpful. And she needed to hustle into Sanders' office. It was just so hard to move. She stood, grabbing the edge of the desk for a moment to steady herself.

When Sarah reached Sanders' office and stepped inside, he was looking at a sheaf of papers on his desk. "Close the door and take a seat before you fall down."

Sarah complied and waited for the bureau chief to finish whatever he was doing and look up at her. When he finally did, his expression was inscrutable. Had he already seen her report? Was something wrong with it?

"Why am I not surprised that you were the first to submit a report today?" He glanced out his office window. "I suppose the others were celebrating while you got down to work." He smiled a little, but then his expression grew serious again as he glanced briefly at the envelope on his desk and then looked back up at her. "I have transfer papers here for Agent Sarah Granger. They say that you are to work in Analysis in the San Antonio office. There's no end date, so it may not be temporary."

Too stunned to reply, Sarah could only stare at her supervisor. Her mind reeled with the possibilities of this revelation. Had her father pulled strings with Gil Barclay? Was it Jamie's doing? Or was this just another cruel exercise of Richard Wong's? Unless Matt had been transferred, too—

Sanders chuckled at her expression. "Before you get all worried about how you're ever going to see your husband, I had a little cover note with this paperwork. It was sent along by the director himself and it says, I quote, 'Please reassure Agent Granger that her husband will be joining her in San Antonio.'"

At last Sarah found her voice. "Do you know how this came about?"

"The orders come from Director Barclay. I'm not privy to details." He looked up, his gaze fixed on something behind Sarah. "But I think you'll find out soon enough."

Turning around, Sarah received yet another surprise. Matt was standing outside the office door, his hand raised to knock on the window. Larry gestured for him to join them.

Thoroughly surprised and confused, Sarah could only stare at her husband as he walked in, shutting the door behind him. Larry stood, reaching over the desk to shake Matt's hand as they exchanged greetings. Unlike the other time he had come for a visit, he was wearing a suit, as if he had come straight from the Washington office.

"So this is the man Lee Stetson was willing to trust with his daughter. Have a seat."

"Thank you, sir. I hope I can live up to that reputation." Matt looked uncomfortable as he turned to Sarah. "I had no idea this was going to happen so fast. I just made a couple of phone calls. No one called me back after the first conversation or two, so I didn't want to get your hopes up."

"How did you get here? I had no idea you were coming."

"I just found out about the transfers this morning. The director pulled me into his office—it's a long story why. He told me to come and get you, not to call. I came up on the first express train—I didn't even go home."

Sanders' brow furrowed. "Why all the cloak and dagger? You're not going undercover."

Matt turned back to Larry. "The director told me to tell you that he would be in touch soon."

Displeased, Sanders leaned back in his seat. "Geez. What is that guy up to? This is the real world. Not some movie or something."

"It will all make sense soon, Chief Sanders. I don't know all the details, but the director assured me of that. In the meantime, I am going to take my wife home."

"To D.C.? Tonight?" Sanders regarded Sarah, who had dark circles under her eyes and a somewhat dazed expression on her pale face.

It was obvious the younger man had not failed to see what Larry Sanders had seen. "No. We'll leave in the morning. I already picked up the paperwork for Sarah and left my key to her apartment with the H.R. person."

Sarah sat up straight. "I am here, you know."

"Sorry, hon." Matt reached out and placed a hand on Sarah's shoulder. "But you look exhausted. And I'm tired, too. Besides there are no more express trains tonight."

"Don't take it personally, Sarah. The rest of your team looks like death warmed over, too." He turned to Matt. "But they caught several bad guys, so they're heroes, now."

Sarah waved a hand in the air. "It wasn't just us. The agent working undercover provided the tip. We were just there keeping an eye out."

"An eagle eye. Keep up the good work, Granger. You came with a promising reputation and you managed to maintain it working here. Hopefully the people in San Antonio will appreciate you."

"It was a pleasure working with you, Chief Sanders. Please thank your wife again for me." Sarah reached out to shake her supervisor's hand, and was rewarded with a pat on the shoulder, too.

"She'll be sorry she missed saying goodbye. She always liked your mother, and she took a liking to you, too."

"That's kind to say."

"Okay, okay. Better go, before I get a reputation for being a softy. It won't help the other women around here if the boys think I'm easier on the girls."

"Good bye." Sarah smiled and made her way to the door as Matt shook Larry's hand once more and followed her out of the room. They did not speak until they were in a cab on the way to the apartment.

"You really couldn't tell me anything about this?" Sarah's voice was tight. She glanced over at Matt and back out the window, watching the pedestrians make their way down the busy sidewalk. It was almost rush hour in Manhattan, so the cab was not making much progress towards Sarah's apartment.

The cab driver raised his eyebrows but made a pretense of paying attention to the traffic.

"No. I explained why back at the office." Matt wanted Sarah to look at him so he could make some kind of silent gesture. This was not the time or the place to discuss their transfer. But she would not turn his way. He took a deep breath, realizing how curt he must have sounded.

His voice was soft and his tone conciliatory when he spoke again. "We've hardly seen each other in the last three or four weeks, and we're fighting. I'm sorry. Please let me explain when we get to the apartment."

This time Sarah turned towards him, and the look in her eyes told him she did not want to fight, either. But he also saw hurt there. She felt he had betrayed her. He reached for her hand, hoping she would take it. When she did, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Although it took another fifteen minutes to make the journey to her apartment, Matt felt the second half of the trip had been much less stressful. Sarah had asked about her family, making the time go by quickly. They had even called in a food order at the Chinese restaurant on her block so they could pick it up along the way to her building.

However, as they reached the door of her apartment, both had fallen silent again. Sarah unlocked the door, retrieved the little slip of paper that served as an intruder alert, and ushered her husband into the one-room studio. "I'm sorry, but I haven't cleaned in a while."

"It's okay. I didn't bring a change of clothes or a toothbrush." Matt placed the bags of food on the counter and went to sit on the bed. "Besides, how dirty could you make the place in a week or two?"

"You really didn't go home before you came up here? Why? You could have gotten a later train."

"Sarah. Come sit with me. Please."

Already exhausted and now out of sorts after all that had happened in the last hour or two, Sarah had the impulse to be contrary. However, when she saw the expression on her husband's face, she joined him on the bed.

He picked up her hand and held it in his own. He stared at their joined hands for a moment before he spoke. "I debated with myself over telling you about San Antonio, Sarah. Of course you have just as much say in where we live and work as I do. But all I had done was ask a couple of questions. I had no idea that the ball had been rolling. I was going to tell you as soon as they seemed remotely interested in bringing us there."

Sarah was staring at their hands, too. "You should have told me you wanted to move back to Texas. I always thought you preferred Washington, D.C. I wouldn't have held you back. We can live near your family, if you want."

"When it comes to work, I still prefer D.C. over Texas. I did even before I met you. I could have asked to live in Texas when I was done with my training. But the experiences I had in Belgium made me want to be in Washington. It's where things are centered. And I was blessed to be able to get my first choice when the Agency recruited me." Matt looked up at Sarah, and she raised her eyes to meet his.

"If I hadn't been assigned to D.C. after training I would not have met you. I would never have gotten the assignment that led me to you. I would have already been in San Antonio a year ago. Once we became serious, I knew that I was meant to live in D.C., but not just because of my job. When I told you that I wanted to stay near your family, I meant it. Not just for your sake, but for mine, too."

"Then why not stay in D.C.? I already had a desk here in New York."

"I figured you were as miserable being apart as I was. But after seeing how well you were doing today, I'm sorry I even called San Antonio. I should have realized you might be enjoying it here in New York."

"Matt, I'm not happy here. I just want you to be happy."

"I'm not happy unless we're together. My job is not as important as us."

"I feel the same way." When Sarah wrapped her arms around Matt's waist, he readily returned the hug, holding her tightly to him.

"Oh, Sarah. I've missed you. I've missed holding you, talking to you, sharing things with you."

"I'm sorry, Matt. I was trying to work extra hours so I could get some days off. But the price was having no time to be in touch with you."

"And your health?" He leaned back and regarded her critically. "You've lost weight since I saw you last, and you've hardly slept—"

"I know. I look terrible."

He cupped her face with one hand and kissed her. "You're still my beautiful Sarah. I just can't help worrying about you. Let's eat that food before it gets cold."

Once they had sat at the table and taken several bites, Sarah ventured, "So, you really haven't told me why you jumped on the first train. Were you really that worried about my health?"

"I would probably have gotten on the first train, anyway." Matt looked up from his cashew chicken and set down his chopsticks. "But Francine ordered me to hightail it out of D.C. because Richard Wong threw a fit in her office when he found out we were being transferred together." At Sarah's gasp, Matt nodded and continued. "Accused her of favoritism and a few other things. People are surprised he wasn't fired on the spot. She basically ordered us to take a vacation in Texas next week, whether we want to or not. We still have a few days off for my grandparents' anniversary party."

"Um, where will we go next week?"

"Well, I called my folks—they weren't expecting us for over a week, but they'd be happy to host us. Maybe we could stay in a couple of B and Bs or something, too. This impromptu vacation isn't really in our budget, so it would be nice to have free lodging for a few nights."

Sarah smiled in reassurance. "Staying with your family would be nice."

Matt leaned back in his seat. "I wanted to be the one who told you about the transfer. I felt so badly that it had happened before we could talk. I really had planned to come up and spend a little time with you and tell you what was going on. But I was waiting to hear back first. To be honest, I had given up on San Antonio when they didn't call me back in over a week."

"When could you have come up to talk? I started working nights and made it hard for you to even come visit me."

"Well, you had planned to visit me…"

Sarah stared down at her plate, toying with her food. "I'm sorry I was so irritable earlier."

"It was a shock. And you felt like you were being pushed around."

Reaching out to caress his arm, Sarah swallowed a lump in her throat. "You are always so good to me, Matthew Granger."

"Not always, my sweet wife. I messed up over this San Antonio thing." He glanced at her plate and picked up his chopsticks again. "Let's finish up our dinner and you can tell me how you want me to pack your stuff."

"Don't be silly, Matt. I'll pack."

Matt watched as Sarah took another bite. Despite her protests, her eyes were glazing over again and her posture had drooped. "You're going to bed. We'll need to visit your family before we leave for Texas, and we have some packing to do at home. You need to start catching up on your sleep tonight."

Sarah's voice was sleepy as she replied, "We should call my parents tonight. My mom will want to have everyone over on Saturday."

"You're right. We'll call them as soon as we're done here." He took a bite of chicken and stared blindly at the kitchen cupboards. "You know, in all of the excitement, I nearly forgot. Your dad talked to Tristan Bates about having us take a temporary assignment at Farnsworth Manor. Tristan was going to work on it and get in touch with me." He looked over quickly at Sarah. "I didn't say anything for the same reason I didn't mention San Antonio. I didn't hear from Tristan, anyway."

More alert now, Sarah's expression was thoughtful. "Doesn't it seem a little strange, since it was his idea?"

Matt chewed absentmindedly and swallowed. "Yeah." He turned to Sarah, his gaze more intent now. "You know, it's weird that the paperwork for San Antonio was already completed today. I've never heard of a transfer happening so fast. It caught me completely off-guard."

"And since when does Gil Barclay give agents their transfer papers personally? Why not Francine? And it's not a permanent transfer, but it's open-ended."

"This might have something to do with Chen's investigation. They want us both away from Wong. There's something going on with that guy that goes beyond his harassment of you."

It was Sarah's turn to chew absentmindedly. "I'm trying to process all of this, but my mind is too foggy."

"You need to go to bed. I'll figure out the packing on my own."

Sighing, Sarah took another bite. After she finished chewing, she looked up at Matt. "I would be arguing with you right now, but I'm too tired to do it. The only reason I bothered to eat dinner is that my empty stomach would have made it hard to sleep."

Laughing now, Matt began to clear the dishes. "Why don't you start getting ready for bed, sweetie? I'll clean up here."

A few hours later Matt, his teeth brushed with a new toothbrush from the small grocery store down the street, stripped down to his boxers and an undershirt and slid between the sheets of the bed. Sarah had slept through his quick trip to the store and his packing of her suitcase and carry-on bag. She did not stir as he settled himself under the covers next to her. It was comforting to feel her warmth nearby and smell the rose scent of her shampoo on the pillowcase. That same scent had lingered in their bed at home for a little while, but he had washed the sheets more than once and it was now barely detectable on Sarah's pillow.

Home. Where was that exactly? He had imagined it to be their townhouse. Perhaps it was wherever his wife was. They were a family, and now they had a chance to live and work together without worrying about being separated.

Matt had not told Sarah that the move to San Antonio meant a demotion for him. Because of his military intelligence work, and the unusual circumstances that had drawn Matt into high profile cases early in his career at the Agency, Matt had enjoyed a status in D.C. that most young agents did not experience. Being partnered with Rene had helped further his career. The two were unusually compatible, complementing each other well in their strengths and weaknesses.

In San Antonio, Matt would not have a partner. He was going to be tasked with back up field work, so he would be a part of a support team during operations. Experienced field agents would lead the operations and run the investigations. According to the Agency regulations, Matt did not qualify for that kind of position. Francine had given him special privileges he would no longer enjoy.

Rolling onto his side, Matt gazed at his wife in the dark, just making out her profile and her dark hair as it lay fanned over her pillow. He did not mind the demotion. There was less pressure and supposedly less risk in the new position. He and Sarah had had enough risk and turmoil in the last year. They were still grieving the loss of their unborn baby—something they needed to do together, not apart.

Thoughts of Sarah's miscarriage reminded Matt of Rene and Patti's baby. Before they had parted ways earlier that day, Rene had said something about taking Patti in for an unexpected appointment. As close as he was to his partner, it was a relief to be moving away as their baby was being born. The reminder of the miscarriage was too painful.

A hand reached out and tugged sleepily on his arm. "Scoot closer," Sarah mumbled sleepily. "I want to snuggle."

Matt smiled to himself as he obliged his wife. He was just as eager to hold his wife in his arms as she was to be held. "You're supposed to be asleep, beloved."

"I'll sleep better now." Her words drifted off as her breathing became regular once again.

Lying there with his wife so near, Matt knew he would sleep better, too.

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

As Sarah and Matt approached the front door of 4247 Maplewood, the door swung open. "Look who the cat dragged in."

Having heard that line more than once, Sarah did not bother to roll her eyes. She simply allowed her brother Phillip to wrap her up in a bear hug and give her a kiss on the cheek. "It's good to see you, sis. We all missed you like crazy." He eyed Matt sideways and winked at Sarah. "Although not as much as Matt, I guess. I hear he's made friends with the conductors on the express train."

"I only went up there twice, bozo."

Sarah tried to say something about not letting Phillip get to him, but Phillip was laughing too loudly at Matt's comeback.

"Well done, Granger. You're learning to dish it right back. Don't let my mom hear you or you'll get a lecture."

Other members of the King and Stetson families converged on the young couple, but it was Jessica who squirmed her way to Sarah's side and wrapped her arms around her aunt's waist. "I've missed you, Aunt Sarah. It's been forever."

"I've missed you, too, Jessica." Sarah angled her head so she could get a good look at her niece. "You've really grown." When Jessica blushed, Sarah gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Let me say hello to everyone and then we'll go in the backyard and you can catch me up on school and your friends and—"

"Where's my girl?" boomed a deep, gravelly voice.

Jessica stepped aside as Sarah was enveloped in yet another hug by her father and mother at the same time. She felt her cheeks grow wet as they both murmured in her ear.

"You look as beautiful as ever, Pumpkin. I heard you did well in New York."

"We're so proud of you, sweetheart. Matt told us how your supervisor raved over you."

"I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to talk on the phone much. I was so busy before I left New York, and then Matt and I have been trying to get everything together…"

Lee cut her off. "No need to say any more. We know. We'll have a family conference after lunch."

"Sarah! Sarah!" David poked his head under Lee's arm and Seth wasn't far behind. "You missed the birthday party last week."

Seth was not to be left out, as he shouted, "Grandpa is sixty-seven now, and my dad is thirty-two. I'm not sure how old Uncle Matt is, but I guess you know."

"That's sixty-two, young man," Lee growled good-naturedly as he tousled Seth's hair. "Your dad is thirty-seven. Don't make me older than I already am."

Amanda decided to take charge. "Let's all move into the kitchen and den and get our food, everyone. There are a few people who still want to say hello to Sarah and you're suffocating her."

Amy and Phillip pulled Matt aside as Sarah greeted Jennifer. "Does Sarah know about Rene and Patti's baby?"

A brief shadow passed over Matt's face, but he managed to smile. "Yeah. Rosie's her name and she weighed seven pounds, six ounces. I guess Patti was already in labor by the time Rene got home to take her to the appointment. I ran out of town so fast I didn't know."

"How is Sarah taking things?"

"We brought a little gift to the hospital, but there was a lot of family around. We just stayed for a few minutes." Matt ran a hand through his hair. "I have to admit I was having a harder time than Sarah when we visited."

Phillip squeezed Matt's shoulder as Amy gave him a quick hug. Phillip's voice was a little choked as he assured Matt. "It gets easier. Just give it time." He glanced over at the kitchen, where the rest of the family was already gathered. "It looks like everyone's loading up plates. We'd better get over there."

"Just give me a minute, okay?" Matt watched as the Kings moved over to join the rest of the family. The hospital had been much worse than Matt had expected it would be. He had been prepared to comfort Sarah as she faced the reminder of their loss once again. But it had been Matt who had been struck by the raw memories.

It had not helped that they had been forced to pass by the waiting room where Matt had sat in agony for hours, wondering if his wife was going to live or die. Then they had run into Sarah's nurse, Craig, next to the elevator. Matt recognized the man immediately, but to Sarah he was just a hazy memory. It was Craig who spoke first.

" _Mr. Granger, is it?"_

" _Call me Matt." Matt extended his hand to shake Craig's._

 _Craig turned to Sarah. "You probably don't remember me. I was your nurse in ICU last month. I'm glad to see you're looking better."_

 _Matt remembered thinking that Sarah did look better—at least better than she had the day before. He had silently uttered a brief prayer, thanking God for watching over his wife and allowing her the opportunity to get a long rest before they had left New York. But then, as had taken another look, he had seen how thin she was and the pale cast of her skin. She still was not fully recovered from the miscarriage. He had prayed again, this time asking God to heal his wife._

 _While Matt had been observing Sarah, she had extended her hand to Craig, saying, "I'm sorry. I really don't remember much from the ICU. But thank you, I am feeling better."_

" _What brings you back here?"_

 _Matt could remember his growing discomfort. Before he could reply, Sarah had already spoken for them. Her tone of voice was cheerful, but Matt knew it was not genuine._

" _We're going to visit friends who just had a baby."_

 _The elevator pinged and more people stepped off, but Matt had not missed the look of compassion on the other man's face. After the others moved away, Craig said, "I'm praying for both of you. You'll see your little boy or girl someday in Heaven. For now, it's hard, and I'm sorry."_

Those words and the small gestures from Phillip and Amy just now had been helpful, but it had not been easy to be cheerful for the Enriquez family. Matt felt a little ashamed that he had only been able to spend a few minutes saying goodbye to his partner as Sarah politely made small talk with Patti and her mother and cooed over the baby.

" _Well, this sucks." Rene had scrunched up his face, obviously upset at the news of their transfer but not willing to admit it. "I'm going to miss you, man. But this is better. You and Sarah need to be together. Your marriage will be better off. Texas isn't a walk in the park, but it's not as stressful as D.C." Rene had clapped a hand on Matt's shoulder. "Just don't get too attached to your partner. I'm going to lobby to get you and Sarah back here."_

" _I won't have a partner there. I'll be on clean up."_

" _That's a first-class waste of talent." Rene had been distracted by someone calling his name. "Look, bro. I have to go." Matt was enveloped in a back-slapping hug. "Stay in touch, alright? I'll send you photos of Rosie."_

 _Matt had tried to smile at that last remark, but he was not sure what expression had manifested itself on his face. Then, as Sarah joined him in the hallway outside the hospital room, her expression had also been strained._

 _Neither had spoken, both knowing what was troubling the other person. They had simply held hands, walking shoulder-to-shoulder to the elevator and again out to their car. The car ride home had been quiet, but their hands had remained clasped most of the way._

Matt was brought back to the present by a hand slipping into his once again and a soft voice in his ear. "Let's go eat, hon. We need to break our news."

Matt looked down into Sarah's eyes and saw they were glistening with unshed tears. He did not hide his concern. "Are you okay? We could step outside for a few minutes. I think your family would understand."

Swiping at her eyes as she turned her back to the others, Sarah murmured, "I'll be okay. It was just a lot. I haven't seen everyone in weeks, and I've been mostly on my own for a lot of that time."

Nodding, Matt replied, "It's overwhelming. We'll just go slow getting our food." His eyes roamed the room. "People aren't all seated yet. Let me stick your purse by a couple of chairs so we can sit together."

Once everyone was seated with their food, Matt waited for a lull in the conversation. Having gotten their food first, Jessica, Seth, and David had already finished eating and gone outside, distracted by some new game. Matt had Amanda to thank for that. "Hey, everyone." He waited until the heads were turned, remembering the last time he had made an announcement to this group. "This isn't going to be easy to say, so I'm just going to say it quickly. Sarah and I have been transferred to San Antonio. We leave on Monday."

They were met with stunned silence. Then several voices spoke at once.

"That's only two days away."

"So far away! What happened to New York?"

"What the? Jamie! I thought you had this covered."

"Enough!" Lee's voice boomed over the others. His eyes rested on Sarah, who was staring down at her lap. He watched as Matt reached over to take her hand. Lee's voice was gentle as he continued. "Sarah and Matt had no choice. At least if they have to go somewhere, it's together and they'll be near Matt's family."

"We're not moving all of our stuff, yet. We're flying there and living out of suitcases for the first several weeks until we get our bearings."

"Then we'll see you again before too long." Phillip seemed satisfied with that news.

After the meal, Matt followed Lee and Philip outside for a game of basketball with Seth, David, and Jessica. Sarah was making her way to the den to sit with her mother when Jamie stopped her.

"You know, Sarah, I did everything I could to get you into my department. If you still want to work there, I'll keep trying."

Placing a hand on her brother's arm, Sarah regarded him thoughtfully for a moment. "I appreciate the gesture, Jamie, but I'm not even sure I want to work in the D.C. office right now. I don't think I could stand seeing Richard Wong on a regular basis." She pulled her hand away and stared out the French doors, where she could see the basketball game already in progress. "To be honest, I think it will be good for Matt and me to spend some time in San Antonio. The hours may or may not be long, but we'll have time together. We can't have a good marriage if we aren't together. We've been through too much."

"You could be together in D.C."

"It's been so hard. Things aren't quite the same as they were before."

Involuntarily, Jamie glanced down at Sarah's waist, slim and flat now that she was no longer pregnant. "I think I know what you mean." He turned to look over his shoulder, following Sarah's gaze. "You need some time to be normal."

"Exactly."

Jamie turned back to Sarah, his eyes meeting hers. "He loves you. Really loves you. Just remember that. I always worried you'd settle for Jeff and have a lukewarm marriage. Matt is the kind of guy a brother wants for his sister. And then some. You'll work it all out and come back happier than ever."

Sarah's smile was wobbly, and she felt the sting of unshed tears, but Jamie's words had bolstered her. "Thanks, Jamie. I needed to hear that."


	9. Chapter 9

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Nine

As much as Sarah would have been very happy to stay away from the Agency, the San Antonio office required that she have a doctor's exam and a medical release to work. The D.C. office required that she sign some papers.

Perhaps it was a happy coincidence or just some clever maneuvering from a protective Francine, but Richard Wong was on assignment somewhere else in Virginia when Matt and Sarah made their appearance at the Agency early Monday.

Rene was still at home with Patti on paternity leave, but Grace Tanaka welcomed the pair. After Matt made his way to his desk, Grace hugged her former partner. Then she stood back and gave Sarah the once over. "You look pretty good, girlfriend."

"Pretty good?" Sarah laughed a little. Grace was not one to sugarcoat things.

"Well, let's just say you could use more time off."

"At least I know you care, Grace. Maybe Dr. Fitzgerald will make me take a two-week detour to the Bahamas."

It was Grace's turn to laugh. She started to say more, but Matt appeared at Sarah's side, placing a hand at her elbow. "I've got what I needed from my desk." He held up a small backpack that was bulkier than it had been when they came into the bullpen. "We need to get over to Fitzgerald's office." He looked an apology at Grace. "Our flight leaves early this afternoon."

As the three said their goodbyes, they were joined by Ryan Johnson and Manny Gonzales. Anxious to stay on schedule, Matt helped Sarah keep it short and ushered her out of the bullpen. Larry Chen caught up to them as they exited the elevator on the medical clinic's floor.

"I'm glad I ran into you two. We need to talk."

"We have an appointment with Fitzgerald and a flight to catch in a few hours."

Sarah thought Matt seemed impatient, as if he was hoping to avoid Chen.

"It won't take long." He exchanged meaningful looks with Matt, who seemed to relax a little.

They slipped into a classroom, Chen checking the hall carefully for other personnel before closing the door. "I disabled the cameras on the floor before you got here."

Matt nodded.

Sarah watched them, and then put a hand out. "Wait. You both know something I don't."

Chen turned to Sarah. "We don't have much time. You have an appointment and we can't have anyone see us together talking." He began pacing. "Your transfer is temporary, at best. You may not even put hours in at the San Antonio office."

Sarah started to interject, but Chen put up his hand.

"I can't tell you where you'll both end up, but don't stress over it. I just would hate to see you put a down payment on a house or something while you're there."

"Is that all you came to tell us?" Matt's brow furrowed.

"No. Don't get into a discussion with anyone about Wong. Not with Fitzgerald, not in San Antonio, not with your family." He directed those last words to Sarah. "No one can know what's going on. We're close, but it's key that you stay out of the way. You've been through enough. And Wong must be surprised or we won't be able to put him away."

"Put him away? Why not just fire him?"

"And let his sorry a—" He looked at Sarah momentarily. "…find another job where he can pull more crap? Besides, we don't want him to write some tell-all book. We're making sure he won't be able to."

Chen started for the door, but stopped, his gaze on Sarah once again briefly before turning to Matt. "Francine couldn't say anything in the bullpen, but she asked me to tell you to stop by the holding cells. You may want to send Sarah out to the car first."

Matt's forehead wrinkled. "We'd better go, Chen. Thanks for the message."

A half an hour later, Matt and Sarah were on their way to the holding cells. "Hopefully this won't take long."

"Chen said I should go to the car."

"And Dr. Fitzgerald said you're overdoing it. I'd like us to stick together."

"I promise I won't faint."

"I'm sure you wouldn't want to, and I don't think you will…"

"But you can't help protecting me."

Matt offered her a wry smile and said nothing.

"At least he said my numbers are up."

"He said they hadn't gone up enough for someone your age. He said you can't report for work for another week at least."

Sarah chose not to address her health issues. "Francine probably made him say that. What he pointed out was that our instructions are to report to the San Antonio office tomorrow, but we don't have to start work for at least a week."

"I know. We already agreed that we'd spend some time at my folks' house, maybe go to Fredericksburg. My dad talked about getting us a room at some place there. He and my mom raved about it."

Sarah smiled, but did not say anything. Matt seemed a bit defensive, and she knew she might have pushed him a little. She did not want to create any more tension between them.

They turned a corner and found Francine standing there, already waiting for them.

"Oh." She looked uncomfortable. "I didn't realize you'd brought Sarah along."

"Is this above my clearance?" Sarah took a step back.

Francine glanced at Matt. "Not exactly. If we don't discuss who these people are or why they're here, you'll have to understand." She turned and regarded Matt. "You sure you want Sarah along for this? Maybe she ought to wait outside."

"Not unless she needs to."

"Normally, we'd just get her a chair in the hallway here. But they asked to see both of you."

Matt looked uncomfortable. "He said he wanted to meet Sarah. I don't understand the fascination with her."

"They really like you."

"It's more than that."

Francine nodded, as if she had already understood that fact. "They made the connection because of Lee and Amanda. Not sure how they knew Sarah was related to them." She shrugged and straightened her jacket. "Well, let's do it. I hear you have a plane to catch." She punched a code into the pad and opened the door.

Sarah had not been sure what to expect, but she had never suspected a couple with an infant would be in the room. A man who looked vaguely like the young mother stood nearby. Sarah guessed he might be the baby's uncle. She was even more surprised when she saw Matt's expression. Clearly he had not expected to see the baby either. She felt a pang in her chest as Matt longingly regarded the small infant, who seemed too tiny to be out of the hospital.

A hand fell on Sarah's shoulder, and she realized it was Francine. It made sense now. Francine had been concerned about upsetting Sarah. She was grateful for the comfort from the longtime family friend. But Sarah's heart also went out to Matt.

Quickly Sarah was introduced to the three adults and the baby, who all looked Russian and had Russian-sounding names. Sergey was the uncle, Alexei the young father, and Yana was the mother. The baby, born two weeks ago, was Tanya. While all the adults seemed to know Matt, they were oblivious to his discomfort as they greeted him.

During a lull in the conversation, Alexei sidled up to Matt. He watched Yana and the baby for a moment and seemed to feel the need to explain something. "Tanya came early by two weeks. She is only two weeks old now. Today would have been her birthday." By his proud expression, Sarah could see he was a delighted father.

Smiling now, Matt seemed to take control of the situation. Sarah guessed that he was feeling some sympathy for the man's embarrassment—perhaps the wedding had come after they had learned Yana was pregnant. Having already congratulated the couple on the birth of their baby, Matt was enthusiastic about their wedding announcement. "Congratulations to both of you. I'm glad you and your family made it here safely."

Overhearing their conversation, Sergey stepped to Alexei's side and spoke in Sarah's direction. She moved closer, since the man was addressing her. "Agent Granger—he save my life. He save all our lives and help our country. That is why we want to see him, to thank him. We want to thank you, too. It is not easy—your husband and your parents go into danger. It is two times now, for us." He gestured to the others, his voice somber. "Now we are all safe. Tanya can be a safe little girl."

Yana's expression spoke volumes. Sarah remembered that these were the Kazakhs Matt and her parents had helped. She also remembered that this same woman had nearly killed Matt when she had mixed drugs into his food. But she had also heard that the woman had been remorseful, helping her parents and Matt with the remainder of the operation.

Now she stood here with a new baby, apparently as embarrassed as her husband. Her words were halting, but clearly she had planned them, as she spoke carefully. "I must also thank you, Agent Granger. You should be angry with me, but you are not. Thank you for saving my brother and for our safety." She turned to Sarah. "I wish you the best. Your husband—he is a good man."

Sarah had been processing their words, wondering how they knew she was Lee and Amanda Stetson's daughter. She decided to play dumb, not wanting to reveal too much. She had grown up with her parents protecting her identity, and old habits died hard. "Excuse me, but how are you connecting me with Lee and Amanda Stetson?"

Matt and Francine, who had neither denied nor acknowledge the connection, watched the interaction with interest.

Sergey swallowed and looked confused. "Are you not their daughter? You look much like your mother. But also, we hear this from other agents."

Francine's lips pursed, but she did not respond, allowing Sarah to speak for herself.

"It's very kind of you to say I look like Amanda Stetson." Sarah decided not to confirm their connection. She did not know who had spoken out of turn, and she did not know if she could trust these people, however friendly they were.

Francine went to the intercom on the wall and pressed a button. "Agent Brown, it's time to take our guests to their ride." She turned back to the group. "I'm afraid we must end our meeting." She reached out to shake Yana's, Sergey's, and Alexei's hands and stepped over to the door while Matt and Sarah said their goodbyes.

Sarah could not remember what words she had uttered. Yana insisted upon hugging Sarah, baby and all, before she left the room. Sergey and Alexei, conscious of American customs, patted Matt awkwardly on the shoulder and also left.

"Well, that was interesting." Francine eyed Sarah. "You handled that well, Sparrow."

"We'd better go." Matt looked as if he would be glad to leave the Agency and at least some of the memories that went with it behind him. They said their goodbyes to Francine.

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On the way to the airport, Matt was quiet. Sarah took the time to think about their meeting with the Kazakhs. Yana, Alexei, and Sergey were obviously delighted with the new child in their family. Sarah pondered the uncle's enthusiasm. She knew her brothers would have been delighted with a niece or nephew, but Sergey seemed to take his role even more seriously. Clearly family was very important to these people of Russian descent. Perhaps they missed the extended family they had been forced to leave behind.

It was difficult to be envious or sad for herself and Matt over the loss of their own baby when she saw that small Tanya was so significant to this family in the midst of upheaval. Yana seemed more grounded and more mature than the initial impression Sarah had conjured in her mind after hearing descriptions of the young woman. But then, she had suffered a gunshot wound during the operation that brought down the radicals. Apparently she was fully recovered now, and it had not affected their child. However, the experience had probably been sobering.

Sarah regarded Matt. He did not just seem tired, she knew he was. Something seemed to be weighing on his mind, as he had slept restlessly over the weekend and grown increasingly tense. In between visiting friends and family, they had worked on laundry and cleaned the house. He had only protested mildly when she had cleaned their bathroom and changed the sheets. After all, he had done all of the vacuuming and cleaned both the kitchen and the guest bathroom. The only time he had relaxed was Saturday night, when Matt had treated Sarah to a meal at their favorite Italian restaurant—Martini's. Afterwards they had watched a movie at home.

Sarah was pretty certain that Matt had figured out it was her time of the month, but she could not help feeling a measure of disappointment that he had not made any overtures when they had gone to bed each night. After leaning over to kiss her goodnight, Matt would climb under the covers and stretch out on his side of the bed, only joining her in the middle to cuddle if Sarah asked.

"A penny for your thoughts." Matt reached out and touched her shoulder.

"I've been thinking about a lot of things."

Sarah was surprised by the vehemence of Matt's response. "Please tell me you aren't imagining that little Tanya has my eyes or something. The only time I touched Yana was to drag her by the hand to the car before I passed out from the drugs she gave me."

Placing a hand on her husband's arm, Sarah tried to keep her voice soothing. "I believe you, Matt. I believed you when you explained everything to me last July."

Brushing off her words of comfort, Matt persisted, "That baby was born almost ten months after I last saw Yana. I never had time alone with Yana. Even when I tried to lure her out of the restaurant, your parents were watching."

"I know, Matt. You're a good man. I trust you." Sarah could not help wondering what had prompted such a comment from Matt.

Sighing, he patted Sarah's hand and glanced over at her. "I know you think that. I just don't think I always deserve it." He glanced at her again and rushed to correct himself. "I mean the way you're always saying how I'm good to you and take such good care of you. I don't always deserve that praise."

"But you do." Sarah emphasized the words by squeezing his arm. "This weekend was the first time I felt like I'd pulled my weight in months. I know you like the idea of being a good husband and doing things for me, but I want to be a good wife and do things for you."

"Dr. Fitzgerald said you need to stop doing so much."

"He didn't mean light housework. Exercise gets my blood flowing. It felt good. I didn't feel tired—or at least not fatigued the way I used to." Sarah thought it was best if she did not mention that she still felt occasional dizziness and had to sit down regularly. But she had been glad to climb up and down the stairs in their townhouse without becoming exhausted, as she had before going to New York.

Matt's mouth flattened. Sarah sensed that he disagreed with her assertions about being tired, but he didn't want to start a fight. They were nearing the long-term parking.

"So, I guess Phillip is going to come out and pick up the car?"

"Yeah. He insisted." It was against Agency policy to use airport shuttles. Sarah's own father had enforced that rule. Too many stops and too many variables, he had always said. "I think he just jumped at the chance to drive the Charger."

Sarah laughed. It felt good to hear her husband make a joke, albeit a small one. He seemed to relax a little at the sound of her laughter.

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It was not yet evening when their aircraft touched down at the Austin airport. After retrieving their two large suitcases and stopping at the rental car counter, Matt directed the car toward the interstate.

"I thought we could stop at a restaurant along the way. It's a two-hour drive."

Sarah smiled. "Now that we're thousands of miles away from Washington, D.C., it's finally beginning to seem like a vacation. It's hard to believe we were at work this morning."

"It's still technically work. We have to interview the next couple of days." Matt frowned.

Cringing at what she decided was a foolish remark, Sarah searched for another topic. "Do you have a restaurant in mind?"

This brought a hint of a smile from her husband. "I thought we could go to that German restaurant off the interstate again. You know, relive our first encounter with the agents from the San Antonio office."

Laughing at the reference to the two Agency men who had been assigned to shadow them, Sarah rejoined, "Sounds like a plan. Old times."

"Are we supposed to meet with Chuck and Joe?"

Glancing over his shoulder to change lanes, Matt was preoccupied with his driving when he replied, "I really don't know."

Sensing that Matt was not in the mood to talk about the Agency, Sarah turned to the window and watched the changing scenery. She had only been to San Antonio once before—the previous fall—and she wanted to get to know the area she would be calling home for the indefinite future.

Matt was attentive to Sarah during dinner, answering her questions about the area, but not offering much small talk of his own. She could not help but feel a growing concern as they climbed back into the car and continued their drive to San Antonio. While Sarah was rather excited about working in Analysis, she sensed that Matt was not as happy about his new position.

The hotel room reserved for them by the Agency was comfortable, affording them a view of downtown San Antonio. That night, as Matt caught up on emails at the hotel room's desk, Sarah sat in a chair at the window watching the lights. Every so often, she would glance back at him, but he was usually focused on his computer screen. One time she did catch his eye, and he smiled at her. But the smile did not reach his eyes.

Bringing her knees up to her chest, Sarah wrapped her arms around her legs and sighed softly.

"Maybe you should get in bed, hon. It's been a long day."

Glancing over at Matt, she saw his eyes were still on the computer screen. She felt a pang in her chest. Had nearly four weeks apart really caused a rift between them? Things were not right, and Sarah could not imagine why. Matt had come to New York personally when he had heard of their transfer. Certainly that did not indicate something was wrong between them. But he had been more distant since then and Sarah could not imagine why. Perhaps he really did resent having to move to Texas.

Sarah thought of asking Matt directly if something was wrong, but quickly dismissed the idea. It would only put Matt on the defensive. He would feel badly for making her uncomfortable. Perhaps he was merely stressed at walking into a new office. He was entitled to first day jitters.

Rising from her chair, Sarah closed the drapes and went to stand behind Matt, placing a hand on his shoulder. When he took her hand in his and kissed it, the tightness in her middle disappeared. She caressed his hair with her free hand and bent to kiss the top of his head.

"I think I will go to bed as soon as I'm done in the bathroom."

"That's good. I'll shut things down here, then."

As Matt joined her in bad a little while later, Sarah noted that while he leaned over for the usual kiss goodnight, he still kept to his side. This time, she did not ask to cuddle with him. Instead, she reached over and placed her hand on top of his. When he turned his hand over to clasp hers, she smiled softly in the dark.

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Arriving at the Agency office early the next morning, Matt and Sarah had a chance to observe the early morning activity while they waited for the regional chief—Raul Martinez—to interview them. The atmosphere was more relaxed than in the D.C. or New York offices. The agents dressed more informally, and unlike the Agency's general headquarters, housed in a subterranean complex in the heart of the country's political center, the southwest region's headquarters occupied two floors of an office building just north of downtown. Sarah found herself almost forgetting they were in an Agency office.

Chuck Billings and Joe Scarletti walked in together not long after Sarah and Matt had been shown seats at a group of empty desks.

"Well, if it isn't the Grangers. I heard you two would be joining us for a while." Chuck stepped over to shake Sarah and Matt's hands, while Joe followed.

"It beats having me in D.C. and Sarah hours away in New York." Matt's tone was sincere, but Sarah still could not help wondering if he was merely being polite.

"I hear you, man. My wife spent a few months finishing up her degree back home when I first transferred here." Chuck turned to Joe. "Joe's girlfriend used to live out of state, too."

"Fiancee, remember?" Joe playfully smacked Chuck's shoulder. "She wouldn't have moved here if we weren't engaged."

"Is anyone working in this office actually from Texas?" Sarah asked.

"Well, as you know, your husband is. And Martinez. Although Martinez is from Del Rio. He's seen more action living in a border town than we've seen in the two years we've worked here."

"But there's action all over the state. We ran an op in Lubbock last month."

Matt raised his eyebrows, but did not say anything. Sarah imagined it had to do with drug cartels, and Matt was not wanting to alarm her. Perhaps that was what was bothering him, she mused—running into trouble with another Mexican drug cartel.

"Does this office see a lot of activity with the drug cartels?" Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah saw Matt's frown, but she had to ask the question anyway.

"How about we talk about that during our interview, Agent Granger?" Coloring a little, Sarah turned in the direction of the voice to see whom she assumed to be her new chief, Raul Martinez.

By the end of the morning, Sarah decided that Martinez's personality was not much different than Sanders. He ran a tight ship, but he allowed his experienced agents to manage their operations more independently than on the east coast. Sarah was not sure what that would mean for Matt, as he and Martinez met separately while she spent time with the IT and Analysis departments.

She was in Chuck Billings' cubicle looking at photos of his family when Sarah felt a hand on her shoulder. She glanced around quickly to see it was Matt. There was a fleeting expression of concern on his face. She offered him a reassuring smile.

"Chuck and Joe were hoping to take us to lunch. Are you free?"

"Yeah, Granger. We have to introduce you to a great taco place that opened up earlier this year."

"That would be great." Matt's hand slipped possessively around Sarah's waist. It was a comforting feeling. "Just give us a few minutes to get our stuff."

Once they were at the open desks where Sarah had left her briefcase and purse, Matt spoke quietly so only Sarah could hear him. "I just finished. We can head up to Austin after we eat."

"Already?" Sarah was surprised. She expected Matt's meetings to last longer than hers.

"I'm done. Did you finish talking to Analysis?"

Sarah could not hide her enthusiasm. "Yes—at least for now. We spent most of the time talking about interactions with the D.C. office—retrieving information from the field, sending reports to Jamie's people, that sort of thing."

Matt's brow furrowed briefly, but he did not comment. Sarah did not have time to register her confusion, as Matt seemed in a hurry to get to lunch so they could make the drive to his parents' home before rush hour in Austin.

In the car later that afternoon, Sarah was scrolling through emails on her phone when Matt's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"It sounded like you were excited about working Analysis here. Everything go okay?"

"Yes. We spent a lot of time talking about how the regional office interacts with D.C."

Matt was quiet a moment. "But not about the specific research they're doing here?"

"We touched on that."

"But no details?"

"It was just my first meeting, Matt." Sarah wondered at the direction of Matt's queries. "Why do you ask?"

"It just seems strange. Maybe Chen was right about all of this not being for real. Martinez spent most of the time talking about my experience with the cartel in D.C. and my work with the Kazakhs." Matt ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Sarah thought he seemed tired. "Did you notice how he never really answered your question specifically? He only gave general information."

"He's a spook. They're all spooks—we're all spooks. Maybe they'll talk more once we've proven ourselves—or when there's information pertinent to a case. Larry Sanders is a very 'need to know' kind of guy, and Martinez seems that way, too." Sarah sighed. "Or maybe Larry Chen was right, and this was all just a show. It just seems like a big waste of Martinez's time, if it is."

"The 'need to know' is all well and good for specific operations, but it would have been nice to have an idea what the hot cases are right now."

"Maybe when we get back after our time off." Sarah turned in her seat. Matt did look weary. "Would you like me to drive? You look tired."

Running a hand through his hair again, Matt glanced over at Sarah. "I'm sure you're tired, too. I'll be okay."

Sarah was not particularly tired, but she sensed that it was not the time to argue. Matt was too preoccupied with their morning meetings. "How did your meetings with Martinez go, other than being less-than-informative?"

"Oh, they were pretty informative. And he seems like a decent guy."

"At least they gave us details about where we'll be living."

Matt reached over and grasped Sarah's hand briefly. "A residence hotel will hardly be like home." He glanced at her. "Are you okay with that?"

"We can start looking at apartments once we get settled. At least they're giving us extra money for living expenses for the next month."

"We were planning to buy a house in another eighteen months. This is going to set us back, most likely."

"Houses are much cheaper here."

"But we don't know how long we're staying. I'd hate to buy a house and find out we were moving shortly afterward."

"True. Larry did say not to put a down payment on a house." Sarah sighed and looked out the window. Perhaps Matt was also saying they should put off trying to get pregnant again in the next year or two. She was afraid to ask. They needed to talk all of that out, but she was not ready. At least not here in the car. It was the kind of thing they talked about in bed together at night. Talking about having another baby would not be an easy discussion. Sarah winced at the thought.

"You okay?"

She had not realized he had been watching her. "Yes. I guess we'll just have to see how everything goes." She grew silent, watching the skyline as they crossed the river and drove past downtown Austin.


	10. Chapter 10

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Ten

An hour later they were turning onto the Granger driveway and climbing the hill. Within moments of their arrival, David and Sharon were on the driveway greeting them. Ranger, the family's border collie, ran up from behind the stable and greeted Matt joyously. Bending over to be closer to Ranger's level, Matt tussled playfully with the dog.

After greeting her in-laws with hugs, Sarah watched as Matt seemed to forget his troubles and bask in the adoration of the family pet.

"You'd think he'd forget about me after all these years."

"You really didn't move away until four years ago," David countered. "He was already seven years old. Dogs don't forget as easily as you think."

Matt crouched down and ruffled Ranger's fur once again. This time his touch was more gentle. "I'd forgotten how old he was. I still think of him as the young dog I played with in college."

"Well, he's not decrepit yet. Just a titch of arthritis."

"Your father rigged up a heater for his kennel this winter. Now that it's summer, he has a fan and a mister out there. He won't stay in the house."

"Not that you really want him inside."

Sharon swatted her husband's arm playfully. "Oh, you know he's too dirty to be inside the house. Besides, he lives to watch over the place." She turned back to Matt and Sarah. "The dog has been missing the girls."

"You hear anything from them, yet?" Matt still crouched by Ranger, his hand stroking the dog's back.

"Just a few emails from Emma. Lauren and the rest of the medical team have been hopping since they got to Haiti. Emma and her team have a little down time at night."

"Right. Makes sense if they're playing with the kids all day." Matt stood.

Sarah knew that Matt's sisters had gone on a mission trip with their church after Lauren's graduation, but she had been preoccupied with her work the last few weeks. With a pang of regret, Sarah realized she had forgotten they would be gone for only two more days. She had not sent them any encouraging emails in the weeks leading up to their trip. Although she knew Matt had signed her name to the card he had sent with a gift for Lauren's graduation from college, Sarah herself had only sent a short email congratulating her sister-in-law.

"Sharon, these two kids probably would like to come inside and relax. It's been a long day for them."

Sarah had been enjoying David and Sharon's banter. But David had a point. She was tired. It was almost dinnertime and they had been up early.

"Of course." Sharon turned to Sarah. "Let's go inside. The men will want to bring in all the luggage. Then we can have dinner." It felt comforting when her mother-in-law wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her towards the door.

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Matt watched with satisfaction as his mother took Sarah into the house.

"How is Sarah doing?"

Turning to his father, Matt responded, "She's getting better, but it's slow progress. The doctor at the Agency said Sarah needs to rest more. She was working double shifts last week…" Matt picked up the two large suitcases, leaving the carry-on luggage for his father.

"Son, you don't have to carry all of that."

"I've got it. I'll just set inside the garage and take one suitcase at a time to our room."

"Your mom thought you might want to stay in the guest room. The bed is bigger."

Matt considered his father's suggestion for a moment. "We'll be okay in my old room. I'm used to it there."

David shrugged. "Suit yourself."

It was not long before dinner was on the table. The foursome sat together talking long after the meal ended. Finally David had shooed the women to the living room. Matt had stayed behind to help him with the dishes, but when he came to the living room afterwards to find Sarah, she was perched on the edge of the couch, fighting to stay awake. Noting the shadows under her eyes and the droop of her shoulders, he offered her a hand to help her up.

"You two need to get some sleep." Sharon was eyeing Matt. "Both of you."

They did not need convincing. Once they were alone in Matt's old room, it did not take long for Sarah to prepare for bed. She crawled between the sheets and sat in the bed, waiting for Matt to join her.

"Why are you smiling like that?" He grinned back at her good-naturedly.

"I thought it might be weird for you to have a girl in the bed you slept in as a teenager."

Matt raised his eyebrows. "It would have been weirder in high school." This brought a laugh from Sarah as he sat down on his side. "But now I think it's pretty nice." Matt reached for the bedside lamp and switched it off, then lay down beside Sarah. "I know this bed is smaller than what we're used to, but I hope you don't mind if we don't cuddle. It's kind of warm in here."

"Your mom said we could change the temperature setting if we want. This end of the house has its own thermostat."

"That's true. It's just so hot out, I didn't want the AC to be running constantly." Matt went to the hallway and adjusted the temperature down two degrees, and then came back and lay down in the bed. He knew he could have lowered it further, but in truth, he did not want Sarah to be cool enough to snuggle up to him in the bed. It might trigger the nightmare once again. He was hoping the familiar setting of his old room might bring a stop to the almost nightly dreams.

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His breathing came fast and hard. He reached for Sarah, crouched in the shower, but something was blocking him. Her moaning told him something was terribly wrong with her, and the water had obviously grown cold. The more he struggled, the harder it seemed to be to reach her. Finally his hand touched her back, and he attempted to pull her up into his arms. She felt so fragile. He had his arms around her now, a sob in his throat as he realized he would not be able to hold her like this again. But her eyes were open now and she was awake. Relief and joy flooded his body. She was reaching out to him now, but it was not a loving caress. She was nudging him. Now he felt the brush of her hair on his face. Sweet-smelling hair. He reached up to touch it.

"Matt." Sarah's sleepy voice was soft, but insistent. "You've been dreaming."

His eyes flew open. Sarah was in bed with him, propped up on her elbow, but something was not right. He could smell the scent of her shampoo, but the sheets and the mattress felt different. Then he remembered that they were in his old bedroom at his parents' house.

"Are you okay? You sounded like you were crying." He could not make out Sarah's face very well in the dark, but he knew she was concerned by the tone of her voice.

He stretched a little and reached up to run a hand over her hair. "Sorry. It was just a dream. Go back to sleep."

Sarah stayed in place, hesitating for several seconds before she lay back down beside him. It was still warm in the room. Although Sarah was not touching him, he felt the heat radiating from her and remembered that when he had touched her hair, it had been somewhat damp with perspiration. Now she seemed restless. Despite the thin camisole and lightweight pajama shorts Sarah had worn to bed, it was obvious she was too warm. He might have been trying to keep her from snuggling up with him, but he did not want her to lose sleep. He got out of bed and padded out into the hallway, where he turned down the thermostat.

Mumbling her thanks, Sarah seemed to settle down once the cool air was washing over them.

But Matt could not sleep. For the last several nights, the dreams had become a regular occurrence, and like the times before, he was shaken. Sarah was gone. He could never reach her in time. But tonight had been different. She had come back to life. Perhaps because she had been there to wake him. Despite tonight's happy ending, the terror of the dream was still wreaking havoc with his emotions. A tear slid down the side of his cheek and into his ear before he could swipe at it.

Next to him, Sarah lay still, her breathing slow and even once again. At least she was getting the rest she so badly needed. In less than a week they would be heading back to San Antonio to begin their new duties there.

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Matt was thankful the next morning when his father invited him to clean out the stable. It was good to forget his troubles for a while as the two men worked quietly together. Their conversation was minimal, mostly reserved for talk of sports and the unseasonably warm weather. It was expected to reach the high nineties that day.

They finished the work and were about to head to the house when David stopped Matt. "Son, I've been thinking that it would be good for you and Sarah to spend some time alone before you go to San Antonio. You haven't had much of that, and well, you're still newlyweds. Your mother and I made those reservations for you in Fredericksburg."

"Thanks, Dad."

"And I think you should take your wife for a ride. The horses could use the exercise before the day heats up."

Matt ran a hand over his jeans. "Oh, Dad, I don't know. Sarah's supposed to be resting."

"Pshaw. Sarah isn't an invalid. Sitting on a horse's back will be good for her. A little time in the sun will give her color and boost her spirits."

"Her spirits are doing pretty well." Matt was not sure he could say the same about his own spirits.

David only raised his eyebrows and went to the door. "I'll bring the horses to the stable while you tell your wife to get ready for a ride."

Frustrated at his father's insistent behavior, Matt marched off to the house. However, by the time he reached the garage, his temper had cooled. His father was right. Sarah herself had said that it felt good to move around. She grew restless if she sat too around the house too much.

He found his wife and his mother in the kitchen. Sarah sat with a mug of tea, watching as Sharon chopped vegetables for a salad. Their conversation stopped when he entered the room.

"Are my ears supposed to be burning?"

Sharon smiled vaguely. "We weren't talking about you, Matt. Just a little girl talk. What's up?"

"I came to invite Sarah for a horseback ride."

"I'd love to. Let me just change into some jeans." Matt felt a tightness in his chest as his wife's eyes shone with eagerness. He had missed these joyful moments.

Glancing up from the cutting board, Sharon murmured, "I think you just made her day."

"Sarah loves being with you, Mom."

She stopped chopping and regarded her son. "Oh, sure. But she needs to be with you, too, Matt. You and Sarah have been spending too much time apart."

Matt gazed thoughtfully down the hallway. "I don't deserve such a sweet wife."

Sharon's brow furrowed at Matt's remark. "God gives us a lot of things we don't deserve. And that term is relative. Be happy with His blessings, son." She turned back to her cutting board. "Besides, I've seen some of the kind things you both do for each other. Don't send yourself on some kind of guilt trip."

"Mom, I…"

Sarah reappeared, wearing jeans and carrying her riding boots. She sat down on the couch and began pulling on her socks. "It was sweet of you to think of going for a ride, Matt. Thanks."

"My dad came up with the idea."

"Oh. That was nice." Sarah tried to hide her disappointment, but he had not missed its brief appearance. Matt wished he could take back the words. Was it the lack of sleep that was making him blunt and thoughtless?

As if to drive the point home, Sarah left him with no doubt that she had seen through his invitation. Once the horses were saddled and they were on the trail away from the house, she spoke up. "I know your dad came up with the idea, but I'm glad you went with it."

Matt brought his horse up beside Sarah's. "It's nice being alone with you, Sarah. I didn't mean to give you any other impression."

"It's not that. I just feel like you're protecting me too much." _And it would have been nice if you had been looking for ways for us to be alone together_ , she added silently.

"I'm sorry. It's hard not to worry about you, with all that happened."

Something about Matt's intensity disturbed Sarah. This was not Matt's usual concern. There was something more there. "I understand that." She glanced around, as if fishing for a change of subject. A patch of wildflowers caught her attention. Clusters of blooms, their yellow centers ringed with red, waved in the breeze. "Oh, they're beautiful."

"Mexican blanket. We missed the bluebonnets, but the Mexican blanket is still around."

"I love how it contrasts with the rocky soil."

"It's really nice where the soil isn't so rocky. I've seen whole meadows full of it. The colors blend together so it looks like an orange blanket."

"I can see how it gets its name."

"Maybe we can drive around and look for some this week."

Matt felt the tightening in his chest again as Sarah flashed him a smile. Surely he did not deserve this forgiving woman. The desire to hold his wife in his arms was overpowering. But this was not a good place to stop and the trail was narrowing.

Back at the stable, Matt and David took care of the horses and shooed Sarah inside the house. When Sharon said she did not need any help in the kitchen, Sarah went back to the bedroom. After changing into her shorts and washing her hands, there was nothing to do. She went to the window and reveled in her freedom.

However quiet the room was, Sarah's mind was not. She remembered fondly her conversation with Matt about the flowers and his invitation to look for more. Immediately afterwards, there had been a change in his demeanor. He was still friendly during the remainder of their ride, but he had followed Sarah instead of riding alongside of her, and it had been difficult to talk. And there had been some kind of wall that had gone up between them. A wall she did not understand.

A blinking light on her phone indicated she had a text message. Sarah unlocked the screen and saw it had been Amanda. She decided to call her mother instead of replying.

"Sarah?"

"Hi, Mom."

"How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm doing fine. I'm sorry we didn't text you guys last night. We were both tired."

"It's okay. Are you having fun?"

"Yes. We just rode the horses."

"I'm sure that was nice."

Laughing, Sarah replied, "Yes, it was." She knew her mother had never been fond of horseback riding. "We saw some wildflowers. Matt said he'd take me for a drive so we could see more."

"I've heard that part of Texas has beautiful wildflowers."

"Yes."

"Have you made any other plans?"

"David took today and tomorrow off, so he and Matt are doing things together. They're working around here today on handyman stuff and tomorrow they're working at their church. Sharon and I are just hanging out. I'm going to help her with a sewing project this afternoon."

"You can sleep in tomorrow."

"Maybe. Sharon has a Bible study in the morning. She invited me, but it's either older women—"

"As in my age?" Amanda laughed.

— _or young moms_ , Sarah thought to herself. She couldn't face the young mothers with their babies and toddlers in tow. "You _know_ , Mom. They can talk freely without me there."

"Well, maybe a little time doing nothing by yourself might be good. You haven't had a chance to relax in a long time."

"That's for sure. Lauren and Emma are going to be here tomorrow night. It will be fun to see them, but things will be hopping after that."

"Are you okay? Francine called me last night."

"Did she tell you I met your Kazakh friends?"

"And their baby."

Sarah could imagine her mother's expression.

"I'm okay, Mom. It was hard, but not as hard as seeing Rene's baby."

"Good. Then what else is bothering you?"

"Why do you say that?"

"You could have texted back. It's almost lunchtime there. Surely you're busy with the Grangers."

"Sharon has it under control. I was just changing my clothes and had a minute."

"Sweetheart…" Amanda's patience was obviously wearing thin.

Sarah sat down on the edge of the bed. "Matt and I had a pretty good weekend, but he's having trouble sleeping…"

"You're worried about him?"

"Yes."

"Maybe he's still working through things. It was really rough for him when you were in the hospital. We were all worried."

"I don't know if that's it. He seems kind of grumpy—maybe angry with me. He's distant." _He barely touches me._ She could not share that last detail. It was too personal and it would be betraying Matt somehow.

"He's only human, sweetheart. He loves you. Ask him what's bothering him."

"But he has these dreams, and he won't tell me what they're about."

"I guess he just needs you be supportive. If the time seems right, tell him you're concerned. Certainly Matt has reason to be stressed."

"That could be it." Sarah heard the men's voices. "I think Matt and David are inside now. I should go."

"Call me if you need to talk some more. I love you, sweetheart."

"Love you, too, Mom."

Matt appeared in the doorway as Sarah stood and tucked her phone into her pocket.

"Were you just on the phone with your mom?"

"Yes. I forgot to tell them we made it okay." When Matt nodded, Sarah felt the impulse to continue. "She said Francine was worried about us meeting Tanya."

Matt's eyes shadowed. "Oh. What did you tell her?"

"I said we're okay. At least I am."

Blowing out a breath, Matt leaned against the door jamb. "Yeah. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't as hard as meeting Rosie. She's a beautiful baby, and I'm happy for Rene and Patti…"

"But it's hard, right?" Sarah stepped toward Matt and reached for his hand. She was grateful when he squeezed hers in return. Perhaps this was part of the reason for his distant behavior. He was mourning.

"Yeah." He stood away from the door jamb. "My dad and I already washed up in the laundry room. Are you ready for lunch?"

"Sure." Sarah smiled, but her heart was not in it. Normally she would have hugged her husband, but something held her back.

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Opening her eyes, Sarah realized that it was still dark. Although the sun rose later at the Grangers' house than it did at home and she was still adjusting to the time zone, Sarah sensed that it was too early to get up. Matt's even breathing told her was still asleep, so she lay quietly and did not check her phone for the time.

Her mind replayed the events of the day before. The afternoon and evening had been low key. Sarah had helped Sharon pin the hems on some new valances for the master bedroom, imagining as she worked what it would be like to buy a home some day with Matt. She might make her own valances, too. Sharon had shared the name of the company where she had purchased the fabric online. Sarah's mother-in-law had already made matching pillows for the bed. The small touches gave the room a fresh feel.

After a dinner of homemade pizza, the foursome had played dominoes for a while, but finally Sarah had been forced to bow out of the game. She was already in bed when Matt joined her a short time later. He had leaned over her to kiss her good night, but once again he had kept his distance, saying it was too warm to cuddle.

Now the air conditioning was running along with the ceiling fan, and Sarah was not particularly warm. She slipped quietly from the bed and went to the bathroom, brushing her teeth while she was there. It was not likely that she would fall back to sleep. She could make a smoothie for Matt before he left with his father. They had not had a chance to talk yesterday. Perhaps there would be time this morning.

Glancing up at the clock on the bathroom wall, Sarah could see that it was still too early to be up. She went back to the bed and slid beneath the sheets, instinctively cuddling up to her husband. With the bed being smaller than their bed at home, it had been possible not to touch during the night, but only because Sarah had slept so heavily she had not moved. Now she relished the closeness. Matt smelled good—a little bit of after shave, a little bit of deodorant, and a little bit of Matt. He was warm, and his t-shirt was soft against the bare skin of her arm.

Stirring now, Matt turned towards Sarah and wrapped an arm around her, offering her a silent good morning kiss. She stretched a little and sighed, and he responded by tangling his legs with hers. His lips traveled down her neck, and his hands moved over her. Encouraged by his advances, Sarah lifted Matt's shirt and after a little maneuvering, he had thrown it onto the floor. Soon the rest of their clothes had joined the t-shirt.

They both needed this, Sarah thought to herself. She was thirsty for Matt's affection—he had seemed stingy with his kisses and hugs since the day he had come to get her in New York. Now he was making up for lost time. As she ran her hands over his chest, she was certain that he needed this, too. Overcome with love for her husband, she could not speak. Instead she touched her lips first to his chest, and then to his mouth.

As she rolled onto her back, he covered her body with his and she moaned softly in response. Without warning, Matt pulled away, his eyes wide as he stared down at her with an expression she could not read. Could it actually be horror? Or was it revulsion?

"I'm sorry, Sarah. I just can't." Matt moved away and climbed off of the bed. Sarah watched as he grabbed some clothes and disappeared into the bathroom.

Unable to process what had just happened, Sarah curled into a fetal position and lay silently, listening as Matt went through his morning routine and eventually stepped into the shower. He was getting ready for his day as if nothing had happened. A sob escaped and Sarah pressed her face into the pillow in an effort to stop her crying.

After a few moments she eased out from under the covers and quickly dressed for a run. After making the bed and picking up the clothes that littered the floor, Sarah quickly drank the last few ounces of water in the bottle on her bedside table. She slipped out the door and into the hallway. Listening carefully, she breathed a sigh of relief when she realized David and Sharon were still in the master suite.


	11. Chapter 11

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Eleven

Stepping in the shower had done nothing to ease the emotions roiling around inside Matt. The sound Sarah had made had triggered memories of his dream. When he looked down at his wife, he could not remain focused on the beautiful woman lying there with love and devotion in her eyes. While his desire had matched hers just moments before, suddenly all he could see was a vision of her dying. The same vision that had been replaying in his dreams almost nightly. He had been too rattled to make love to her.

The pain in her expression had been too much. Sarah would not understand what had happened. He was ashamed of himself, pushing his wife away the last several days. She needed his affection, just as he longed for hers. But every time they drew close to one another, the vision of her dying threatened to return.

He had been too cowardly to explain himself. Instead he had left her in the bed, no doubt in emotional turmoil over his behavior. Matt knew he had no right to do that his wife, the woman he loved more than anyone else on earth.

Slamming his hand against the tiled wall, Matt cursed. Pain shot up his arm, but it did nothing to solve his problems.

A few minutes later with a towel wrapped around his waist, Matt stepped back into the bedroom, hoping to find Sarah there so he could make an apology. Instead he found a silent room. The bed was made, the clothing picked up—there were no signs of what had been happening just a short time earlier. Opening the door to the hallway, Matt could see a light on in the kitchen. Perhaps Sarah was making breakfast.

He dressed quickly and went to the kitchen, but there was no sign of Sarah there or in the family room. Someone had started coffee and set out some food, but that might have been his mother. She would be getting breakfast with her friends, but she always made sure her husband and children had breakfast, too.

Matt went to the window and looked outside. Ranger was nowhere to be seen, but he might be eating. His father often took care of that first thing.

Padding barefoot down the hall again, Matt glanced first in the living room, then in the guest bedroom, and finally he checked his sisters' rooms. No one. He went back to his old room and stood in the doorway, searching for a clue as to his wife's whereabouts. Now he saw that her phone was missing from the bedside table. Quickly he looked for her purse, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw it was still there, along with her wallet. As if he needed reassurance, Matt ran into the guest room and looked out to the front of the house. The rental car was still where he had parked it the evening they had arrived.

Sarah had not worked out since before the miscarriage, but he remembered seeing her pack her running shoes in her suitcase. He went to the suitcase now. The clothing was folded and stacked neatly, but there was an empty space next to her high heels.

Matt was on his way to the back door when his father stopped him.

"Matt? What's all the ruckus? I heard you rushing around a few minutes ago."

Hesitating, Matt was not sure how to respond. What had happened this morning was too private to share. "Uh, Sarah was having a rough morning. I was going to talk with her after my shower, but I think she went running. I was hoping to catch her."

His father nodded, as if he knew there was more to the story. "Have you tried calling her? Does she have her phone with her?"

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A soft breeze played with the loose hair around Sarah's face. The early morning air was not particularly warm, but it was not cool either. Eager to get some distance between her and the house, Sarah walked briskly. She would stop at the bench to stretch before she began her run. Still not wholly familiar with the trails around the Grangers' home, she was a little worried about getting lost. However, Matt had plans with his father, and even if he had not been going out, she would not have asked him to come along. Eager for an adventure and some company, Ranger had spotted Sarah as she had left the house and joined her. He was now somewhere on the trail just ahead of her.

Matt's behavior that morning had hurt and confused her. Perhaps he had had second thoughts about making love in his old bed at his parents' house, but that concern had not seemed to cross his mind when he had first awakened. The look on his face haunted her. At first she had thought he had been reliving some kind of fear, but as she contemplated further, she worried that it had been revulsion.

The thought of her husband not wanting her, or even being repulsed by her, brought up a sob. It would be understandable if he could not be with her. Sarah had been too driven to become an agent to properly care for herself and their unborn child. It had been her fault she had lost the baby. In the process, she had put Matt through a terrible ordeal. He had almost lost both of them that day.

Since they had married four and a half months ago, they had enjoyed very little time relaxing together. Certainly she had not done much to support Matt. He had been the one to take care of her when she was tired or nauseous from morning sickness. He had shouldered the responsibility of running the household and making sure they had food on the table. Yes, she was contributing financially, but it was Matt who did all the work.

Sarah was at the bench now. Burdened with the weight of her emotions, she could not stretch. Instead she sat down, brought her feet up to the bench, and hugged her knees.

Things might be different for them now, but the damage had been done. Matt was a good man, but he had likely reached the end of his patience. This move to San Antonio may have been the straw that broke the camel's back. He did not want to be there. It was Sarah's fault they had been sent to Texas. Matt's association with Sarah made him a target for Wong, and Francine wanted them both out of the way.

Sarah had guessed that the work would not be nearly as fulfilling for Matt here in Texas. He would be low man on the totem pole in this office. He was still fairly new to the Agency, despite being somewhat seasoned as an operative—she knew from listening to her parents' conversations over the years that there were plenty of agents who would dismiss Matt's three years' experience working in intelligence in a war zone. Many of them did not respect Army Intelligence. Riding on her parents' reputation had helped Sarah, but Matt did not have that advantage.

If Matt was unhappy with Sarah, it would not help that they were now back together in a somewhat foreign environment. Matt was from a part of Texas that was three hours from downtown San Antonio. He would be almost as much of a stranger to their new home as she was. They would have to rely on each other. That would make a happy couple edgy, and Sarah did not think they fit the description of a happy couple.

That fresh realization brought on more tears. Feeling helpless to fix the situation, Sarah's chest tightened. She briefly contemplated calling her mother, but if she confided any of that to her, it would be a betrayal to Matt. She could pray, though.

In the middle of her incoherent prayer, Sarah's phone, wedged into her armband, began to ring. Twisting her arm, she could see from the display that it was Matt. Instinctively she reached for the phone to tug it out of the armband, and then stopped. He had a right to know where she was, but she was too distraught to talk to him. After waiting for the phone to go to voicemail, she sent Matt a text. "Going for a run. Have a good morning with your dad."

With the phone wedged back into her armband, Sarah felt the vibration alerting her that Matt had left a voicemail. A moment later she felt another vibration—likely it was a return text. Ranger trotted up and sat down expectantly.

"I'm a chicken, Ranger. I'm afraid to talk to Matt. But I just can't face him right now."

The dog wagged his tail and woofed at her.

"You have no idea what I just said, do you?"

Sarah tried to smile at the friendly dog, but she was too miserable. Matt was likely disappointed in her, or hurt that she was ignoring him, but she was afraid that she was right. She was afraid that he truly was unhappy with her. On top of that, he was mourning the loss of their baby and the possible loss of his dream job. She resolved to do everything possible to make things right with her husband.

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In the bedroom, Matt cursed at himself. He had really messed up this time. He had hurt Sarah terribly, and all because he was a coward. He was afraid to tell Sarah what was going on in his mind—that for some reason he could not stop dreaming about her death. Despite his nightmares, in his rational mind he knew Sarah was getting better every day. The fact that she was out running should be a good thing—as long as she did not go too far. Her body was not in the same kind of shape it had been before she had become pregnant. Perhaps he should try to catch up with her. Sarah was probably upset, and she did not know her way around the trails. What if she became lost? He went to the kitchen to find his father.

David Granger was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping his coffee. A bowl of granola sat on the table in front of him, half finished, and a banana peel lay neatly on the placemat next to his bowl. He looked up expectantly as Matt entered the room.

"Dad, I'm going to have to cancel today. I need to catch up with Sarah."

"Oh? Did you talk to her?"

"No." Matt could not meet his father's eyes.

David tensed, concerned. "Do you think she's okay?"

"She sent me a text. She's on a run."

Bringing himself to look his father in the face, Matt saw a look of comprehension there.

"Son, if she needs some space, you need to give it to her. She's blowing off steam out there. I'm pretty sure Ranger is with her, as he left half of his kibble in his bowl. He only does that if he gets distracted with company."

"If she gets lost, Ranger won't even know it. He'll just keep her company."

"You said Sarah texted you. She has a phone on her." David picked up his spoon. "You both are going through a lot right now. If you had a fight this morning, Sarah has the right idea to let things cool off. You can find her when we get home and work it all out. We won't be gone all morning." David glanced at the counter, where the blender stood ready, some fresh strawberries and blueberries nearby. "It looks like your mom got the fixin's for those smoothies you like. The sooner you get some breakfast, the sooner we can leave, and the sooner we can get home." He raised his eyebrows at Matt as he took a bite of granola. "We have a little work to do outside, remember? That's why we're heading there this early."

Matt debated for a moment. A part of him still wanted to go after Sarah and work things out with her. But his father had a point. He hated arguing with her, and she was just as miserable when they fought. It would be better for both of them if they worked out their troubles later.

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Sarah had become lost after all. After pulling herself together, Sarah had stretched and gone for a run, following the same path she and Matt had taken with the horses. But it was not far enough, so she continued along the horse trail toward the road. At least she had thought the road lay in that direction. At some point she had started walking, and to her great relief, she had finally ended up back at the bench, where she stopped to stretch again and rest. Wishing for the past hour that she had brought water along with her, Sarah was just directing her steps back to the house when her phone rang.

Seeing it was her mother, she pulled the phone from her armband and answered it before it went to voicemail. She went back to the bench and sat down.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hey, sweetheart. Did I catch you at a bad time? Your father was thinking it was too early."

"Oh, no. It's fine. I was out running. Everyone else is already out and about."

"Did David and Sharon have to work today?"

"Sharon doesn't have any shifts, but she had a Bible study. David took some time off, so he and Matt went to do some maintenance at the church early. It's supposed to be hot today."

"You're all by yourself out running, then? Are Matt's sisters there?"

"They're gone until tonight. I'm fine, Mom. Ranger has been keeping me company." Sarah watched the dog amble over and sit down so close to her he was resting on her foot. While she did not feel fine, at least she was not lying about the dog. "He's very chummy."

"Well, don't forget to keep hydrated in the heat, then."

"I'll go inside soon, Mom." Sarah brought her other foot up to the bench and hugged her bent knee. "How's Dad?"

"Oh, he's fine. We just wanted to hear how you were doing. Mind if I put you on speaker phone?"

"Okay." Sarah waited until she could hear the speaker on her mother's phone was activated. "Hi, Daddy."

"Hey, Pumpkin. You catching up on sleep and being lazy?"

"I'm pretty much caught up. Went for a run today. I made it about two miles, I think." Sarah was not about to tell her parents that she had gotten lost. They would only worry and wonder why Matt had not been running with her. She did not want to open that can of worms. Putting a hand to her head, she tried to ward off the dizzy feeling.

"That's good." By her father's hesitant tone, Sarah knew he wanted to say more.

"Don't worry, I won't overdo it. Remember, I was running a lot further during training." Sarah wanted to get off the phone. She hated lying to her parents.

"How's Matt doing?"

Knowing Lee and Amanda sensed her hesitation, Sarah tried to pretend she was distracted. She got up and began walking back to the house. "He's okay. You know, I should get back to the house. Sharon might be waiting for me."

"Okay. We love you, sweetheart."

"Take care of yourself, Pumpkin."

As Sarah slipped the phone back into her armband, she swayed and nearly toppled over. Moaning in frustration, she placed her hand against a tree trunk and she waited for a moment before continuing back to the house. What would Sharon think? Sarah had been foolish to run on a trail she did not know. She had rushed out of the house so quickly she had not bothered to refill her water bottle. Once Matt found out, he would be upset. He was already frustrated with her and she had resolved only an hour or two earlier to make things right with him. And now she was lying to her parents. Sarah whimpered miserably.

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"I wish she'd open up to us." At the desk opposite Lee's, Amanda stared blindly at her computer screen.

"About what? Don't borrow trouble, Amanda." Lee bit his lip at the temptation to remind his wife that she had not enjoyed being "interrogated" by her mother back in the day.

"I just know something is off. Sarah sounds unhappy."

"She just went for a run. It's hot there."

Sitting back in her chair, Amanda had a troubled expression on her face. "I don't mean to be looking for trouble. They've just been through a lot. I want to be sure they're okay. I'm just not getting that from Sarah. You must have heard her hesitation when I asked about Matt."

"I know you're worried, Amanda. I heard the hesitation, too. I still doubt we have anything to worry about. Even if we do, we can't force Sarah to share what she isn't ready to share."

Sighing unhappily, Amanda began tapping at her keyboard. "You're right."

Leaning forward, Lee attempted to gain Amanda's attention once again. "Let's finish up here and I'll take you to lunch. We can buy some deli sandwiches and have a picnic in the park."

"Make it salads and you're on."

Frowning, Lee groaned good-naturedly, "Fine. Salads it is."

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Staring down at his hand, Matt saw that the bleeding had finally stopped. The bandage on his finger had soaked up only a small amount of blood. Then there was the bruise on his shin. He glanced over at his father, who had one hand on the steering wheel of the truck. The man appeared to be relaxed, unconcerned over his son's clumsy behavior that morning.

Although he was tired, Matt knew that was only a small part of the problem. It had been impossible not to think of Sarah. He had alternated between worry over her lack of response to his texts and frustration that she seemed to be ignoring him. Then he would mentally kick himself for being upset with her. After all, he had been the one to offend. Matt sighed and turned to the window. At least she had texted to say she was back at the house. But not until after Sharon had called Matt, asking if he knew where Sarah had gone. His mother had sounded worried, and Sarah had been gone a long time, so Matt and his father had packed things up early. It was not until they were on the road that Sarah had sent the text assuring Matt she was alright.

"You ready to talk about it, yet? Maybe it would help to air your feelings and sort them out before you talk to Sarah." David glanced at Matt. "Of course it's really none of my business, but I've never seen you so distracted before."

Turning to his father, Matt watched him for a long moment. The man lived with three women. While David Granger could be gruff and he and Matt had occasionally butted heads, his parents rarely fought. In fact, his father rarely ran into conflicts with his sisters, either. But what had happened between him and Sarah was not a disagreement. He had hurt her with his actions.

"It's not Sarah. It's me. I'm the one who's messed up."

David stopped at a light and regarded Matt. "You've been through a lot, son. Your mom and I have been praying for both of you."

"I haven't been sleeping well, so I'm grouchy. And clumsy."

When Matt did not continue, David prompted, "You've never seemed to have trouble sleeping before. Could be the stress."

"It's the nightmares. I wake up and can't get back to sleep." Matt waved a hand dismissively. "But that's not the issue. I've hurt Sarah with my behavior."

"She can take a little grouchiness, Matt. She's put up with me and my bad behavior." David turned to Matt and offered shamefacedly, "Give her some credit, son."

Matt was silent for a long moment, staring out the window. David was about to say something else when Matt muttered, "No woman should have to put up with the way I've been acting." Leaning his elbow against the door, Matt rested his head in his hand.

David was silent the rest of the way home, as if he were hoping for Matt to share something more. But Matt was done talking.

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Turning off the hair dryer, Sarah placed both hands on the counter and leaned against it. The dizziness was coming in waves. After finishing off the water bottle Sharon had given her, Sarah pulled her top over her head, thrust her arms through the sleeves, quickly tucked the front hem into the waistband of her shorts, and eagerly opened the bathroom door. It would be good to lie down on the bed until Matt returned.

But Matt was already there, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. Sarah started and nearly dropped the empty water bottle.

"Oh! I didn't expect you back so soon."

He looked up at her. "My mom called me. She was worried about you. By the time you sent your text, we were already halfway here." Was that resentment Sarah detected in Matt's tone?

"I apologized to your mom. I went on a run and lost track of time."

"What were you thinking? You were out there for hours." Matt rose to his feet and began pacing. Running a hand through his hair, he continued, his voice softer, "The doctor warned you about overdoing it."

As if on cue, Sarah felt the room spin and stars danced in front of her eyes. Fighting for control, she made her way to the bed so she could sit down before Matt noticed.

However, Matt had been watching her. "You're not well."

"I'll be okay in a minute. I didn't mean to be gone so long. My parents called while I was cooling off down by the bench…"

"Your parents would have understood if you had offered to call them back."

Sarah winced at the criticism. Perhaps it was deserved, since she had ignored Sharon's texts, thinking it was Matt. Then there were the texts from Matt she had ignored deliberately. While she wanted to make things right with him, she needed time to figure out how to do it. "I'm sorry, Matt. I should have let your mom know where I was. I'm sorry I didn't answer your texts. I just…" Sarah did not know how to continue. She just wanted to lie down on the bed. It had been stupid to go running without a water bottle.

Seeming to finally understand her discomfort, Matt relented. "I gave you good reason to ignore me." He was interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door.

Sarah took a quick inventory of their conversation. It had been heated, but they had kept their voices low. Surely Matt's parents had not overheard. The last thing she needed to do was create a scene.

Matt opened the door to find Sharon standing there. "I brought Sarah a smoothie." She held it up as if she were trying to sell it to her daughter-in-law. "Fresh strawberries and blueberries. This might perk you up."

"Oh, that's very thoughtful, Sharon. Thank you."

Matt opened the door wide to let Sharon into the room.

Her mother-in-law was solicitous. "Did you finish that water bottle? I can refill it while you drink this."

Sarah spied Matt watching her with a furrowed brow. Was that concern or annoyance? She stood up to meet Sharon halfway. "I'll come out to the kitchen and drink it. I'd hate to spill on the carpet."

However, when Sarah took another step, she swayed and the room spun again. Before she could catch herself, Matt had already caught her in his arms and was guiding her to the bed.

Sharon's hand was gentle as she stepped to the other side of Sarah and helped Matt ease her to a sitting position on the bed. "Put your head down between your knees and you'll be fine in a minute."

"You should have told us you were close to fainting, Sarah." Matt sat down beside Sarah.

She thought she heard a sound of remonstrance from Sharon, but Sarah's ears were buzzing a little and she was not certain. After a few minutes, Sharon suggested she try sitting up again—slowly.

"Why don't you sip the smoothie? It's got protein powder and the berries might help. I think you might have low blood sugar."

"And she's dehydrated, right?"

Matt's tone was concerned, but Sarah could not help wondering if he was criticizing her, too.

Sharon was doubtful. "Maybe a little still, but Sarah's been drinking water."

Sarah chose not to participate in the conversation. At Sharon's urging, she sat back against the pillows and put her feet up. It felt good to rest, and as she slowly sipped the smoothie, she began to feel better.

"I'm sure I'm keeping you from making lunch, Sharon."

"Everything is fine. I brought some chicken salad from the store. We'll have that and fruit. But we can all wait. Why don't you just rest here for a bit?"

"Thanks, Sharon. That would be nice."

Sarah watched as Sharon left the room, beckoning Matt to follow her. Despite Sharon's reassurances, she felt guilty for keeping the family from their lunch. But she was tired, and she was afraid of feeling faint again. She lay quietly, listening as Matt and his mother spoke in low tones down the hall, but she could not make out the conversation.

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Bracing himself for a lecture, Matt was not surprised by his mother's words.

"I've never heard you speak that way to Sarah before, Matt. The poor girl was beside herself when she got back to the house."

"I should have phrased that part about the fainting differently. Sarah has fainted before. But I shouldn't be hard on her."

"Matt, I overheard more than one remark. I shouldn't have called you about Sarah. I should have tried calling Sarah myself. She probably didn't even realize I had texted her. She had that phone in her armband."

"You overheard us?" Matt felt sick. It was bad enough he had been hard on Sarah—unkind to her once again—but it was worse that his mother had heard him. He had vowed to himself early in his relationship with Sarah that he would never dishonor her in front of anyone—especially not his family. Now he had done just that.

"Clearly you worry about her. I understand that. But Sarah is hurting. She overreacted to me worrying about her. And she probably felt awful from being out in the heat too long. She's had a rough morning."

It was almost as if his mother knew what had happened between him and Sarah early that morning. But Sarah would never have told anyone something that private. Matt's gut clenched.

"You're worried about her. I get that. Just be careful you don't turn that worry into something else."

"You're right, Mom. Thanks." Matt smiled weakly at his mother. "I should go check on Sarah."

"Let her be for a little bit. You can help me by setting the table."

Matt set out the placemats and silverware, but his mind was elsewhere. He had let his problem go on far too long. "Mom, would you give me a few minutes? I need to make a phone call."

Surprised, Sharon replied simply, "Sure."

After stepping out into the over-warm garage, Matt went out into the yard in search of a secluded shady spot. He dialed the number, praying that it would ring straight through.

"Dr. Kirby's office."

"Is the doctor available for a brief phone consultation later this afternoon or tomorrow?"

"Your name?"

"Agent Granger. Matthew Granger." Months ago Matt had thought that talking with Dr. Kirby was a sign of failure. He had only gone to his appointments when ordered to do so. Now he found himself calling the Agency psychiatrist from his parents' home. He sighed in frustration.

"Matt. I'm glad you called."

"Dr. Kirby. I was expecting to talk to you later."

"I instructed my receptionist to put you straight through if I wasn't in a consultation. You never came to see me before you left Washington."

"You expected to talk with me? Did I miss something?"

"I heard what happened, Matt. I was hoping you would come see me."

"I guess you figured I'd be freaking out about what happened to Sarah."

"You nearly lost your wife. She miscarried. These things mess with anyone's head, as you would say."

Matt's gut clenched at the doctor's blunt reminder. "Yeah. It's messing with my head all right."

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After lunch, Sarah read a book in the family room while Matt sat nearby, scrolling through emails on his laptop. His parents were in the master suite—his mother was preparing a Bible study lesson and his father was on a conference call in his office.

Before he had talked with Kirby, Matt had known he and Sarah needed to talk privately about what had happened that morning. Of course the doctor had said it was important they talk, but Matt did not have the nerve. It would expose too many things—namely that Matt was dreaming about Sarah's death nearly every night. The nightmares were so real. And once again, Sarah had been dead. How do you tell someone you were dreaming about them dying—and doing it night after night? When he counseled Matt to talk it out with Sarah, Kirby had made it sound like it was more disturbing to Matt than it would be to Sarah. But Matt did not agree. He agonized to himself. He was certain it would frighten her—or at least upset her. On top of all that, the nightmares seemed to be making him irritable, and he was taking it out on his wife. He did not know how to explain himself without sounding like he was justifying his hurtful behavior.

An email with an unfamiliar sender popped up. It was the hotel, confirming the reservation Matt's father had made for them. Under the circumstances, Matt could hardly imagine taking Sarah out to Fredericksburg and spending money a hotel and restaurants. It would all be a farce. She was almost afraid to talk to him and he was wracked with guilt over being such a jerk to her. He thought about that morning. Sarah had been more relaxed with Sharon there. The moment she had seen Matt sitting in their room, she had been tense. It had probably been his fault she had almost fainted.

Sarah had probably forgotten about the reservation. It would be better if he just cancelled it for now. Maybe when things were better between them…

On the couch nearby, Sarah's restlessness interrupted Matt's train of thought. He watched her for a moment. She was bored. If he were to be honest, Matt was bored, too. He remembered their horseback ride from the day before, but it was too hot out in the mid-afternoon sun. An idea came to him.

"Would you like to take a drive and see some of those wildflowers?"

When she brightened up at his suggestion, Matt was struck by another pang of guilt. He should have been more attentive. At least this time it had been his idea to spend some time alone together. "Let me just grab my wallet and the keys—I'll get your purse."

Sarah was on her feet now. "I'll refill our water bottles."

"Good idea." He was already in their room when it struck him. Sarah was not upset with him. He should have figured it out when she chose to sit by him in the family room after lunch. Perhaps this was a heaven-sent opportunity to work things out with his wife. He met Sarah out in the kitchen and watched as she refilled a second water bottle. "I was thinking. Maybe my mom wouldn't mind if you and I grabbed an early dinner on the way to the airport. You and I could drive separately from them."

Sarah turned off the reverse osmosis tap and turned to Matt, her eyes shining. "Oh, that would be nice. Are you sure your parents won't mind?"

Just then Sharon rushed into the room, her purse in her hand. "I just got a text from Emma. Apparently their flight was rescheduled. They scrambled to the airport and got on the flight in such a hurry, they didn't have time to contact me. They just landed. We need to leave right away—you can drive your dad's truck, if you want. He has to stay here and work—there's some crisis going on with a customer and your dad is stuck on the phone."

"Why didn't the girls text or call you?" Matt tried to hide his irritation, but he was not doing a very good job of it. He felt Sarah's hand on his arm.

"We're ready to go anytime you are, Sharon. I just refilled our water bottles."

Sharon turned to Sarah. "Oh, that's perfect. I have one in my purse." The two women walked out to the garage with Matt in tow. "I thought we could pick up those ready-to-bake pizzas on the way back. The dinner I planned for tonight did not include the girls."

Matt was silent as he climbed into the cab. It was difficult not to be angry about having his time alone with his wife spoiled. Hadn't they needed it desperately at the moment? The soft touch of a hand on his arm caught his attention. He glanced over to see Sarah watching him from the front passenger seat. At least his mother had been thoughtful enough to insist that Sarah ride up front with him. He smiled weakly, encouraged by the look of understanding in his wife's eyes.

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Lee scanned the last of the groceries and placed them in the grocery sack next to the self-check register. He blocked the view from the camera overhead and scanned his credit card. Every time he came home from the store he would gripe to Amanda about the placement of the camera. _Damned intrusion. It's like the manager is trying to get everyone's PIN number._ However, he pasted on a smile for the elderly woman nearby and the young father juggling his two toddlers. The youngest of the children was still a baby, he realized with a pang. Trying to shake off the momentary sadness, Lee offered a smile to the little girl and her big brother before heading out of the store. He wondered if Sarah and Matt felt that same stab of pain at the sight of a baby. _They must. It's probably worse._

"Well, if it isn't the Chief."

Lee chided himself for being caught off guard leaving the grocery store. After decades as an operative, he should have been aware of Richard Wong before the young agent could make his presence known. He despised the man and his surly tone. It would be easy to blame him for Sarah's miscarriage, but he knew that he could never voice that feeling in front of Amanda. The memories were ugly enough without carrying a bitter grudge for her to see. He did not intend to give Richard the satisfaction of carrying on a conversation with him.

"Aren't you going to say hello?"

"What would be the point? I won't keep you from getting your groceries." Lee gestured in the direction of the grocery store's entrance, as if ushering the empty-handed Wong inside.

But Wong was not to be dismissed. "How is Sarah? I haven't seen Matt. I suppose he's taking more time off to visit her in New York."

Lee bristled internally, but maintained a cool exterior. "She's doing well. I couldn't speak for Matt. He's a grown man. I don't need to keep up on his whereabouts."

"So she's still in New York, then?" Wong raised his eyebrows, as if he saw through Lee's reply. "For your daughter's sake, I'm glad you can trust him. I'm sure it isn't easy to be home alone every night."

Lee narrowed his eyes. Wong was fishing for information, hoping Lee would take the bait. The man turned his stomach. "I need to go." He moved away without saying goodbye.

Richard held out a hand to stop Lee. "Wait. Say hello to your friend Barclay for me."

His mouth flattening, Lee moved away again without responding.

"Tell him he'd best be sticking to his office and not meddling in agent assignments."

This time Lee turned and walked up to Wong, standing so close he forced the younger man to take a step back. Towering over him, Lee lowered his voice until it was just a gravelly murmur. "Or you'll do what, Wong? Are you threatening the director of the Agency? Are you threatening my family? Do you know who you are dealing with?"

"I should ask you that question, Chief." Wong spat out the last word before turning on his heel and stomping off into the parking lot.

Lee would have grinned with satisfaction, except he had two concerns. Wong was about to pull out the stops on Gil Barclay. And the supervisor of the freshman class had not been there to shop. He had been stalking Lee.


	12. Chapter 12

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Twelve

Matt was tired. His sisters' excited chatter had given him a headache. He almost asked his mother to drive so she could sit in the front seat with Lauren and Emma. That way their voices would project away from him, instead of into the back of his head. As if sensing his mood, Sarah rested her hand on the back of his neck, massaging the base of his scalp with her fingers. If they were alone, he would be forgetting about the headache and finding a secluded spot to pull off to the side of the road.

But that would probably trigger some kind of awful memory. Matt put the thought out of his mind and concentrated on the traffic. When Sarah finally pulled her hand away, he reached for it and quickly planted a kiss on her knuckles before mouthing "thank you" to her.

After stopping to purchase the ready-to-bake pizza, it was past six o'clock when they finally pulled up the driveway at the Granger home. Ranger bounded up to meet them, and by the time Matt had wrangled the suitcases out of the back of the truck, the women had already greeted David and taken the pizzas inside to bake.

"Let me help you with those, son. We'll put them in the garage. Your mother won't have them in the house until she can be sure the girls haven't brought anything home."

"Oh, yeah." Matt nodded in acknowledgement. He could not blame his mother. It had been his mission trip years ago when three of the youth had come home with cockroaches in their luggage. Thankfully it had not been Matt's suitcase, but his mother had never taken any chances since then.

Hoping to have a chance to talk with Sarah at some opportunity, Matt was frustrated all evening. He knew he needed to indulge his sisters' need to tell stories about their adventures. He also knew Sarah would not want to offend them by going off alone with Matt. The two girls, who should have been exhausted by a lack of sleep and a nonstop schedule, did not wind down until late. His headache had gone away after dinner, but now he felt it coming back.

Sarah had already said her good nights and gone to bed and Matt was trying to follow her when Lauren stopped him in the hall and dragged him out to the kitchen once again.

"How are you both doing, really? Sarah looks like she's getting better."

"She is. She's been catching up on sleep since we left New York."

"But you look like crap."

Matt rolled his eyes obligingly. "Thanks, Lauren. I was going to go to bed just now."

"But how are you both, really?"

Matt stared at Lauren, weighing his words. He was too tired to have this talk, but if he gave the answer she wanted, he would not have to dread having it at a later time. "It takes time. It's hard seeing other people with their babies, or pregnant. I guess we'll get used to it."

"Well, I'm praying for you."

"Thanks, Lauren. I really need to get to bed. Sarah is waiting for me."

"Try not to make too much noise in there, being newlyweds and all."

"Don't be disgusting, Lauren." Matt tried to force some kind of laugh to lighten his comment. But Lauren had touched a nerve.

She appeared to be chagrined. "I'm sorry. I should joke so coarsely. It drives Brian crazy."

Matt regarded his sister. "He never seemed to let your sense of humor bother him before."

"I guess he thinks it's not becoming at my age or for someone who's a registered nurse. He's thinking about me being a nice, married lady sometime soon."

"Is he finally going to pop the question?"

Lauren smiled, but it was not completely genuine. "Maybe soon. I need to let you get some sleep." She reached out to hug Matt. "Love you, bro. Good night."

Matt returned the hug. "Good night, Lauren. Love you, too."

As he expected, Sarah was in bed when Matt came into the room. She was asleep. And no wonder. Her morning had been an ordeal, no thanks to Matt. As he stooped down to kiss her forehead, he thought about the last time he had seen her lying there. He had no qualms about sleeping there with his wife. In fact, when they had planned this trip, he had secretly enjoyed the idea of making love to her in his old bed. His mind had definitely been there this morning, and his body had been happy to cooperate, until he had flashed on the nightmare. Why was God allowing these nightly intrusions? They had been bad enough by themselves, but now they were affecting his marriage.

Overcome, he sat down on the floor near the bed and leaned back against the wall, watching Sarah sleep. He had not even thought about praying for help, and he was ashamed. He continued to watch his wife for a moment before bending his head and sending up an appeal.

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The room was still dark when Sarah awakened. Matt had made some kind of noise—had he been crying in his sleep again? Why was he doing that? She listened for the even breathing that would indicate he was asleep, but he seemed to be awake. Perhaps he was trying not to disturb her. She could roll over and kiss him, but after what had happened the morning before she was afraid to initiate any kind of affection. With Lauren and Emma home, they would not have much privacy at their end of the house, but the two sisters were likely to be asleep at this time of day. They had been exhausted the night before. It would be a nice time to be affectionate with Matt.

It was the one-year anniversary of the day they had met. She remembered the look of desperation on his face, the rain dripping out of his hair and onto his sodden white sweats. She had wondered how he had been able to run fast enough to get away from his pursuers. But she knew now that he was more athletic than they were—and the adrenaline rush of fear had surely helped.

There was no doubt she had been afraid of Matt at first. Not knowing who he was or for whom he worked, all of the safety training she had undergone over the years as the child of operatives had come into play. He had found her on the Georgetown campus, but she had done her best to evade him. However Matt was too smart for her—he had told her later that he had no doubt saved her from the thugs who had come to her apartment when he had disabled their driver. Then he had been so good to her when her mother had been taken hostage by that terrorist. He had shown her more sincere concern in their first few interactions than Jeff had ever shown her in the four years they had been a couple.

For much of the last year or two of her relationship with Jeff, they had not really been that close. Jeff had been going through the motions. She knew she could never have married him—although everyone thought they were headed that direction, including Jeff. But Jeff had no idea what marriage and commitment really meant. He could never follow through on showing up to any family activity, and he had even left Sarah stranded, waiting alone at a table in a restaurant, more than once. She doubted he had cheated on her—it was always pretty clear each time that Jeff had been distracted by some kind of discussion with his teaching assistants or students.

Sarah lifted up a brief prayer of thanks for Matt's faithfulness. While things were strained between them, it was not because his heart was wandering. She felt her stomach tighten. Or maybe it was. But if so, had she not brought it on herself? She had failed to care for herself properly, and in the process she had lost their baby. If not for Richard Wong's dislike for her, Matt would not have been transferred from his dream job.

She wished he would just come out and tell her what was bothering him. He was definitely awake now. She sat up, but he did not move—not even to reach out a hand in greeting. She got up to use the bathroom, but he still did not stir when she came out to change into her running clothes. Finally he made a show of "waking up" and offered to go running with her.

Sarah knew she would not be good company for him in her state of mind. She was irritated with Matt for his behavior and she felt that she had no right to make an issue of it. They needed to talk and she needed to plead for Matt's forgiveness, but it would need to happen when she was able to do it in a respectful manner. For now, she could go on a run by herself while he dressed and left with his father to go to the feed store in Georgetown.

Before Matt could stop her, she left the room, hurriedly grabbing her water bottle on the way out. She would not get anywhere with Matt if she repeated her foolish behavior of the day before. Sharon would likely lose patience with her as well, if she fainted or had more dizzy spells.

The sun was well up in the sky by the time Sarah finished her third circuit of the horse path. Ranger, always glad for a companion, had probably run twice as far as she had. No wonder the dog was so healthy for his age. As she stretched at the bench, he came over, his tongue lolling. Sarah poured out some water into her hand and offered it to the thirsty dog. When she finally sat down, he settled so close to her that he was sitting on her foot. She smiled down at him, enjoying the benefits of their fast friendship.

Ruffling his fur with her hand, Sarah murmured, "I wish things were like this with Matt, still." Even though she was only talking to the dog, Sarah could not voice her deepest fear. That Matt would not be able to forgive her, and that things would never again be the same between them. They had enjoyed a closeness she had never known with anyone else before. Now he seemed to be physically repulsed by her. He was upset, too, if his dreams were any indication.

Sarah tried to tamp down the sobs that welled up within her. But her grief for her relationship issues with her husband and the unborn baby they had lost, on top of the tension from things at the Agency were overwhelming. She drew up her knees to her chest and gave into her tears.

Unable to leave the bench, Sarah stayed there for perhaps an hour. She would dry her tears on her sleeve and sip some water, but then a wave of sorrow would come over her and she would begin crying all over again. With the day warming and the fatigue of a run before breakfast, Sarah was growing exhausted. She pulled her knees to her chest once again and leaned sideways against the back of the bench, fighting to stop her tears.

Ranger had long since wandered off, but he was back again. Human footsteps could be heard behind him. Sarah sat up and tried to dry her tears. Matt could not see her this way.

But it was not Matt. He was in Georgetown. It was Lauren.

Her sister-in-law did not speak, instead sitting down next to Sarah, handing her a packet of tissues from her pocket, and wrapping an arm around her.

After a few minutes, Sarah shifted position and placed her feet on the ground. Lauren pulled back, but remained facing Sarah. It was Sarah who spoke first. "I'm sorry. I just can't seem to stop."

"You probably needed this. Weren't you working nonstop in New York for weeks on end? When have you had a chance to process everything?"

"I haven't really had one." Sarah blew her nose. She wet down a couple of tissues with the water bottle and cleaned her face. "Your brother and I haven't had a chance to really talk—we've been going from one thing to another."

"It seems like you've been busy since I met you. Between planning for a wedding and your new job…"

"It was going on long before that, too. Being here at your parents' house is the first time Matt and I have relaxed together in a while."

"What have you two been doing? Has he shown you the wildflowers?"

"He was going to yesterday." Sarah felt her lower lip tremble and she looked away. 

"Oh, gee. Then our flight was messed up. That's our bad."

"It's okay." Sarah sighed and placed a hand on Lauren's arm to reassure her. "I'm afraid my problems go deeper than spending time looking at wildflowers."

"Well, of course. You lost a baby. I can't imagine what that would be like."

Sarah was quiet for a moment. She turned and stared at Lauren. "It's my fault. I'd still be pregnant if I'd taken better care of myself. I don't know how your brother can really forgive me for that."

Lauren grabbed Sarah's arm. "Where are you getting this? Matt knows better than to blame you. Did he say that? He told us that you were under a lot of pressure at work, but the doctor really doesn't know why you lost the baby."

"I overdid it, Lauren. Matt's just being a good man and making excuses for me. I didn't take proper care of myself."

"I heard you did. Sure, you worked long hours sometimes, but I know something about pregnancy. You're a young woman. Women have done what you did and carried a healthy baby full term for centuries. It was called running a farm, or whatever."

"I guess I'm not cut out for squatting in the middle of a field to deliver." Sarah frowned and looked away again.

"Oh. That's not what I meant. I'm sorry." Lauren made a frustrated sound. "Brian's right. I have no bedside manner. What I mean to say is that most pregnancies like yours end because the baby had some kind of health issue. Matt said everything was fine until a week or two before the miscarriage. You can't even blame your hormone levels. It's a tragedy if the baby has some kind of medical issue, but it's certainly not the mother's fault. If you think about all that has to happen for a baby to come to full term, it's a miracle any of us are ever born at all. You can't blame yourself, Sarah. Please believe me."

Sarah sat silently, processing Lauren's words. Finally, she responded, but not in the way Lauren had hoped. "Brian criticizes your bedside manner?"

"Not really. He's just given me a hard time when I've been too abrupt. I deserved it. But I wasn't talking about me."

Sighing, Sarah stood. "I know. You make some good points. But I don't know where Matt stands on all of this. I just feel like I've disappointed him, dragged him down. I think he's starting to resent it, and I don't know what to do. We need to talk, but I'm afraid…" Sarah brought a tissue to her eye. "I should take a shower. Matt is probably back already."

"Maybe. They were going to bring breakfast tacos. You need to eat."

Smiling wanly, Sarah watched as Lauren stood and joined her on the path. The two young women made their way back to the house, Ranger bounding ahead of them.

Matt was standing outside on the driveway, watching for them. Before he could say anything, Lauren spoke up. "Ranger came and led me to your wife. If he was a girl, we could call him Lassie."

He was solicitous to Sarah. "Did you have a good run?" Despite his casual question, Sarah could see the anxiousness in his eyes.

She wanted to be quick to dispel any concerns about her fainting. "Yes. I remembered water this time."

"But she needs to eat and so do I. Did you and Dad bring plenty of breakfast tacos?"

It was clear that Matt had more to say, but he only replied, "I think there's plenty. Let's go dig in."

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After breakfast, Sarah excused herself and went to take a shower, while Matt sat with his laptop in the family room. Emma had gone to the garage with their mother to unpack her suitcase and his father was working in his study. Matt glanced up briefly when Lauren joined him in the family room. She sat down in the easy chair next to him and waited until she had his full attention.

"What's up?" he asked.

Lauren did not waste time getting to the point. "Is everything okay between you and Sarah?"

"Yeah, why?" Matt knew he was fibbing a bit, but he did not think it was right to talk about his marriage issues with his sister.

"It's just that… Oh look, I've never been one to beat around the bush, so I'm not going to now. This is none of my business, but I just can't help saying something."

Wary now, Matt narrowed his eyes in response and did not say anything.

"You two were so head over heels when you were engaged. Even now I can see the way you look at her when you think she won't notice. And she's been so sad. And then there's the physical thing. You all are supposed to be newlyweds, and you hardly touch her."

"You're right, it isn't your business, Lauren." Matt moved to get up from the couch. Sarah could come down the hall any minute. She never took long in the shower.

"Wait, Matt." Lauren reached out and put a restraining hand on her brother's arm. "You guys are really hurting and I want to help."

Figuring Lauren had a point and would not leave him alone until she made it, Matt sat back against the cushions and waited silently.

"Didn't Sarah's doctor give her the all clear? It's been two months since…"

 _Since she miscarried._ Matt was grateful Lauren did not say the words. Since Sarah had rushed from their room that morning, his nerves had been raw. Now a frisson of pain ran through his middle. Because of his negligence, he had almost lost his precious wife. Now he could not seem to treat her with the love and affection she deserved.

"I know you're hurting. We all are—although I can't imagine what it's like."

Sighing heavily, Matt passed a hand over his face. "What's your point, Lauren?"

"Well, you won't stop mourning the loss of your baby, but you shouldn't stop loving each other."

"We do love each other." Matt stared out the windows so he would not have to look at Lauren. "I almost lost my wife, Lauren. She practically died."

"But she's well now. And you won't touch her."

His body stiffening in defensive anger, Matt leaned forward, but he did not get up to leave. "That isn't your business. Besides, how would you know what we do behind closed doors?"

"I can tell, Matt. I'm not naïve."

He started to say something about Lauren's inexperience, but something about her expression stopped him. "You and Brian…"

"We're waiting, like you and Sarah did. But this isn't about me and Brian." Lauren got up and sat next to Matt. "I just know you, Matt. You place a huge burden on yourself and don't give it to God—or share it with others." She placed a hand on his arm. "You blame yourself. You're afraid."

Matt did not answer. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and stared at the floor.

"Sarah blames herself. She's overwhelmed with guilt."

Matt's head shot up. "Where are you getting this?"

"I found her crying—she was sitting on the bench all by herself, crying her eyes out this morning when you and Dad drove into Georgetown."

Staring out the windows again, Matt thought back to earlier that day. _He had not been careless enough to repeat his folly of the day before. One talk with Kirby had not solved that issue. Instead, he had pretended to sleep through Sarah getting up to use the restroom and brush her teeth. This time she did not come back to bed. Instead, she had dressed to go running. When she sat down carefully on the bed, he stirred and pretended to finally wake up._

" _Hey. Are you going running? Wait for me to get dressed and I'll go, too."_

 _But Sarah had been unenthusiastic about his suggestion. "I'll just go on my own this time. I promise not to get lost. Your dad wanted you to go into Georgetown with him."_

" _I don't need to go with my dad. What's wrong?"_

" _Matt, you don't have to pretend. I remember what happened yesterday morning. And I know you were awake before me this morning."_

 _It was the nightmare. He had slept soundly all night, but just before dawn, it had awakened him. Sarah had stirred and also awakened not long after. "We need to talk…"_

" _Maybe later. I really need to be alone right now." With that, Sarah had finished tying her shoes and practically fled from the room._

Matt was not going to talk about his dream with his sister. It was too personal. He would only share that kind of thing with Sarah. And Dr. Kirby.

"I don't know why you think she feels guilty."

"She told me so. Why don't you talk to her—tell her what's eating you?"

"I don't know how to tell her." He glanced at Lauren. "I can't talk with you about this."

"Then talk to Dad. Man to man." Lauren patted his knee and got up off the couch. "Sarah loves you like crazy."

"I feel the same way about her."

Lauren did not reply. She simply lifted her eyebrows and turned to go back to her bedroom.

Matt spent the next hour roaming the property. He had left the house without telling anyone where he was going, but Lauren could probably guess. Hopefully she was distracting Sarah as he neglected his wife once again. _This has to stop,_ he thought. He directed his steps towards the shed. His father had been at work on some repair project when Matt had left the house.

"Dad." Matt paused in the doorway. The building was cooled by a single air conditioning unit that had been mounted high on one wall. It was one of David's rules that while the AC was running, the door was kept closed.

Eyeing Matt over his reading glasses, David beckoned to him. "Come in, son, and shut the door. You look like you need to cool off a little anyway."

A sense of urgency came over Matt. His marriage issues were weighing too heavily to be ignored a moment longer. He did not beat around the bush.

"I need to talk about Sarah and me. I'm hurting her, Dad, and I don't know what to do."

David put down his screwdriver and looked up at his son. "How are you hurting her? Sure, you had a fight the other day—or whatever happened." He stared at Matt. "I can't believe you'd find someone else."

"It's not someone else. Oh God, I can't imagine that. We're crazy in love with each other. So crazy that I'm scared to death she'll get pregnant and miscarry again."

David regarded Matt for a moment. "I see. You're afraid she'll end up in the hospital again and it will be all your fault."

"Exactly."

"Let's just say Sarah does get pregnant again. What makes you think she'll miscarry? Your mother and I were there when the doctor talked with Sarah. They fixed the problem during the surgery. You two should be able to have plenty of kids." David placed his glasses on the table and chuckled. "Especially if you got pregnant that easily the first time."

"That's just it, Dad. I'm afraid she will get pregnant."

David considered his son for a moment. "That explains a few things. I figured you'd jump at the opportunity to go to Fredericksburg and stay at that hotel your mother and I found. You still have time, you know."

"It's not Sarah or needing a better atmosphere, Dad. It's me." Matt walked over to the old stool that stood in the corner and after brushing it off, sat down. "I'm hurting Sarah because she wants to make love and I won't." Matt colored at his own words.

Wanting to smile at his son's embarrassment, David kept a straight face instead. It was rare that Matt confided in him about something this personal, and he did not want to ruin the moment. "Because you're afraid you'll get her pregnant. She isn't afraid. You are."

"She insists that the chances are slim, and she'd probably be fine anyway."

David leaned back in his seat, regarding Matt. "There's something else bothering you, isn't there?"

Matt stared at his father. Kirby had tried to get Matt to say the words. He had been trained to cope with shocking and stressful situations. But he was failing miserably. Blaming his nightmares on worrying over Sarah becoming pregnant was not facing the truth. That was not the problem.

His eyes dropped to the floor. It must have taken Matt a full minute to get the words out of his mouth. "I can't get the image of her—of Sarah—out of mind. I have nightmares of finding her dead in the shower. It happens every night now, and even during the day. How do you tell your wife you keep having visions of finding her," his words faltered, "like that?" Before he could stop it, a sob bubbled up and he fell back against the wall, his hand on his face.

David went to Matt and crouched beside him. "Son, surely Sarah would understand if you told her this was going on. She was there, too."

"But she doesn't remember. She was hardly conscious—she never even knew when we got to the hospital." Dropping his hand from his face, Matt looked at his father. "She almost died in my arms, Dad. They were practically running with her gurney. As soon as they got her into the treatment room, the doctor and nurses were making me leave. I could hear the doctor yelling orders—and this is one of those doctors who never loses her cool." He swiped at a tear that stood on his cheek.

David embraced his son. "You never told your mother and me all of that." He stood by Matt and placed a hand on his shoulder as he waited for the younger man to compose himself. "It's a tough enough thing to lose one of your children. I can't imagine what I'd do if something happened to your mother."

"Well, we never did get to see the baby. I guess I shouldn't be too maudlin. I guess we'll stop crying and get over it."

"Your mother and I cried about losing our baby for months. We don't get too sad about it anymore—we have you three, after all—but it still gives me a pang when I think about who your brother might have been by now."

"My brother? You and mom lost a baby?"

"Your mom told your sisters she had a miscarriage after we had you. Hasn't she ever told you?"

"No. You knew it was a boy?"

"Yeah. She was far enough along."

"That must have been really hard. Worse than what we went through."

"You had it rough, son. It was really hard on your mom and me emotionally, but she was never in danger."

Matt stared at the floor for a long time. David waited, his hand resting on his son's shoulder.

"And you weren't afraid to have more kids?"

"You have to keep moving forward, Matt. We were kind of scared, but after a few months, your mom was pregnant again. And this time she was fine." He smiled wryly. "We both know Lauren has always been just fine."

Matt laughed—it sounded almost foreign, he had done it so rarely lately. "She was a fussy baby, wasn't she?"

"She just made it loud and clear when she had a need." David gave Matt one final pat on his shoulder and went back to his own stool. "But you were a good brother. You never seemed to mind the yelling." He chuckled. "Thank the Lord you inherited your mother's patience."

"I guess I found her entertaining enough that it was worth the trouble to figure out why she might be crying."

"You'll make a good father, Matt."

"But I'm afraid of losing Sarah in the process. What if something happens when she gets pregnant again?"

"God tells us not to live with a spirit of fear, son. We need to trust Him to take care of the ones we love."

Matt stared at his father for a long moment. "I've been hurting God, too, then."

"He wants you to learn to trust Him. He understands how you feel."

"I've hurt Sarah. I've rejected her, passed up chances to let her know how much I love her—the words don't mean much when I don't show her the same affection I used to show her."

"You mean in the bedroom." David smiled a little as his son's face reddened. "It was nice, I'm sure, and it will be nice again."

"But how, Dad? I'm afraid…"

"You still have a reservation at that hotel."

"I cancelled it."

"Are you sure about that? They called the house to confirm and I told them to keep the reservation."

Matt frowned, but his father chuckled. He knew his son well enough to see that he was not serious. "Now I don't meddle in your affairs much, but I could see you both were hurting. Your mother was quite impressed with me."

Standing suddenly, Matt once again felt the urgency to resolve things with Sarah. "I need to get in the house."

"Once you figure out you need to make things right, you can't wait to get it done. Is that it?" David's eyes twinkled.

Matt understood his implication. "I just want to talk with her, Dad. She's been hurting long enough." Matt had not said anything about the guilt Sarah had felt. He needed to talk with her about it first.

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"Are you ready to go, dear? We promised we would be there at seven."

"I'll be ready in a minute, hon." Gil Barclay finished buttoning his plaid shirt and tucked it into his jeans. "I just need to duck into my study for a second. I left my phone charging in there."

"Meet me down in the kitchen. I packed everything in the cooler."

Gil supposed their housekeeper had helped Georgette put together some kind of salad for their dinner tonight. Things were still chilly between him and their youngest son, but their daughter-in-law and Georgette had set up this dinner to help improve their relationship.

Despite the sunlight that filtered into the hallway from the foyer, his study should have been dark. Yet he could see artificial light glowing softly from the doorway. Gil did not remember leaving his desk lamp lit. As he entered the room, his eyes focused on the phone in its charger as he reached for it. Until he saw Richard Wong sitting behind his desk.

"I see you're not above breaking and entering now, Richard? Are we adding kidnapping to the list of your offenses tonight, too?"

"If you know what's best for you, Barclay, you'll stop threatening me. You didn't live up to your end of the bargain."

"What didn't I do? You're already the freshman supervisor. You're set up to take over as section chief as soon as I request Francine Desmond's resignation. You can't rush these things. People will figure it out and we'll both be out on our butts."

While Gil had been verbally sparring with Richard Wong, part of his mind had been contemplating a plan of action. Thanks to the handy app that Phillip King had installed on his phone, he was already recording their conversation. Now he needed to make sure Wong left without harming him or Georgette. And without becoming concerned about the phone in his hand.

"You were supposed to keep the Grangers apart. My intel says you took care of their transfer yourself."

Taken aback by Wong's correct assumption, Barclay hesitated for a split second. It was enough.

"I see I was correct. I didn't know for certain, but you just confirmed it. Trying to cover for your friend Stetson, are you? I warned you that if you tried to protect his family, you would pay the consequences."

Barclay leaned back against the credenza near his desk and looked down on Wong, who still sat in his seat. He did his best to act casual, although he expected Georgette to come looking for him any moment. He may have imagined it, but he thought he had heard her soft step in the hallway outside his study just then.

"Listen, Wong. If you take me down, you won't get your job as section chief. Francine may rub people the wrong way at times, but she has a lot of credit in the intelligence community. She'll end up with my job and you'll end up out on your ass."

If Gil was hoping to antagonize Wong into making a move, he was not disappointed.

"I won't be out on my ass, because you're going to give me money to keep from spilling your story. And you'll split up the Grangers. If you don't, you won't be enjoying any more lovely dinners with your wife and son. They'll see the video on YouTube, along with millions of other people—including the major news outlets."

"Look, Wong, I've given you what you wanted. You got to send Sarah to New York after she lost the baby. That was over the top. Granger has received a demotion at the San Antonio office. They're no longer around. Can't you be satisfied with that? You'll be section chief by the end of the year."

Wong leaned back in the chair and stared at Gil for a moment. "You don't get it, do you? I want to have that jerk around. I want to be Granger's boss so I can make him miserable. If I make him miserable, I make Stetson miserable. Just like he made me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend you don't know how he passed me over for promotions and pay raises over and over again. I've been working at the Agency for seven years, and I never got a single promotion the entire time. Why do you think I slammed him during those training classes? Since I outed him as a philanderer, his reputation at the Agency has gone in the toilet."

Gil did not argue with Richard. No one in the training classes had connected Richard's stories of the womanizing agent from the eighties with Lee Stetson. But it did not hurt to let Wong think he had damaged Lee's reputation. As for Richard's failure to advance at the Agency under Lee's supervision, Gil wanted to say that Wong had only himself to blame. Lee Stetson had held a standard while section chief. Part of his standard was to not promote agents with attitudes. Despite his internal reaction to Wong's remarks, Gil kept his expression neutral.

"Listen, Wong, you've already made the man pay. Leave it. I'll finish out my end of the agreement."

"That's right, you will. Our new agreement. You're going to wire transfer half a million to my offshore account tonight. If you don't do something about the Grangers, it will be an additional half million in forty-eight hours. Or you're going to be the star of YouTube. You and your lovely little administrative assistant."

"You mean my former administrative assistant and some actor. I'll give you your money, Richard. And I'll take care of the Grangers. Just get out of my house."

Richard Wong stood and slowly strolled from the room. He stopped next to Gil. "Don't forget. When I say tonight, I mean by midnight. No later."

"You'll have your money." As he followed the man to the door and locked it behind him, Gil wondered how Richard Wong treated his wife and children. As painful as it would be for them once their father was arrested and his criminal side was exposed, he supposed it was better than being mistreated. He hoped Richard was putting up a front at home.

He was only mildly surprised to see Georgette step out of the shadows at the base of the stairs as he turned back toward the kitchen.

"That man is an animal. I don't know how you can keep your cool with him."

Gil held up the phone. "Easy. I knew I was recording everything he said. And having you listening outside the door will only help in court." He regarded his wife with concern. "If you're willing to testify. This will likely be ugly for both of us, not just Richard."

Georgette closed the distance between them and placed a hand on his cheek. "That man's words just now only reinforced my faith in you, dear. Of course I'll testify. And I'll go before the press, too, when the timing is right."

"I know we're running late for dinner. Do you think you'd mind driving us while I call my people? They need to have time to get the ball rolling."

"Certainly." Georgette was silent as she helped Gil take the food to the car. They were buckling their seatbelts when she turned to him. "Are you going to send that man money?"

"Oh, no. We're going to send him to jail. For a long time, I hope."


	13. Chapter 13

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Thirteen

Coming in from the garage to the house, Matt heard the door to the dryer close. Someone pressed a few buttons and the appliance start running. He looked into the laundry room and found Sarah placing dirty clothes in the washer.

"Hey. Thanks."

"I noticed that all of your jeans were dirty."

"Yeah, sorry. I've been helping my dad out."

"It's okay." Her expression was unreadable and her tone matter-of-fact. "The washer was finally free, so decided to run a couple of loads for us." Busying herself with placing the second load in the washer, Sarah made no further comment.

Nodding, Matt could not remember feeling so tongue-tied around his wife before. He remained rooted to the spot and watched her as she placed detergent in the dispenser. She turned to leave the room, but Matt was blocking the doorway. She glanced up at him expectantly.

"Do you think we could talk now?" Matt managed.

Instead of answering immediately, Sarah stared at Matt, her expression almost fearful.

"Please, Sarah. We need to talk while we have privacy." Matt knew that his sisters and mother were at the store. His father may have finished in the shed, but he had work to do in his office.

"Okay."

Matt hated that Sarah seemed reluctant to talk to him. He knew he had done that to her. Stepping aside, he gestured for her to go first. When they reached their room, he shut the door. Seeing that Sarah had sat down on the edge of the bed, he sat down on the floor opposite her. Perhaps he would seem less threatening that way.

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Knowing that they needed to have this important conversation did not mean that Sarah was not fighting the urge to flee the room. Once already that day she had avoided talking things out with Matt. She owed Matt an apology and the chance to air his grievances against her.

She was a little surprised when he sat down on the floor opposite her, his legs drawn up in front of him. As he rested his forearms on his knees and clasped his hands, he seemed sorrowful. _O God, please…_ Sarah was afraid to give voice, even in her head, to her worst fears. What if Matt could not forgive her? She bit her lip and waited.

Matt watched her face for a moment, and then looked down at his hands. "Before I explain what's been going on, I need to apologize."

Sarah's gut clenched. What did Matt mean? She sent up a quick prayer and immediately sensed an answer. _Don't fear the worst. Just listen._ Sarah felt a small measure of peace.

"I'm so sorry about my behavior. I've pushed you away, been irritable, and I haven't been giving you the support and affection you need. Coming here is a big change for both of us, and you don't need me being an ass."

Still biting her lip, Sarah remained silent, her eyes fixed on Matt. Finally he looked up at her.

"I think the worst of it was when I hurt you yesterday morning. I wanted to be with you—to love you." He reached out and caressed her knee before leaning back against the wall. "But I keep having this horrible vision in my mind." Matt looked down again and ran his hand over his hair. His voice broke as he uttered the next words. "I can't stop dreaming about finding you in the shower. Almost every time I have the dream, you die. I'm trying to get to you, and when I take you in my arms, you're gone." Matt brought his hand to his eyes and began sobbing. Sarah could hardly make out his next words. "I've started having flashbacks during the day, and it's making me crazy. I've even called Dr. Kirby about it."

He paused, and Sarah held her tongue. She had never seen Matt like this before. Whatever he had to say, he desperately needed to get it off his chest. Her own chest felt tight as feelings of compassion welled up inside of her. When he had had the dream the other night, she should have guessed it was about something like this.

"This morning, when the nightmare woke me up, I lay there listening to you, trying to figure out how to get up the nerve to talk to you." He ran his hand through his hair again. "I blew my chance and made things worse at the same time."

Sarah stared at Matt for a moment, processing his words and making sure he had finished what he had to say. Kneeling at his side, she awkwardly wrapped her arms around her husband and lay her head on his shoulder. "I forgive you, my love. I'm so sorry you're going through this." _It's my fault. Say the words, Sarah._

Before she could find the courage to utter what she needed to say, Matt continued, "I've even had a flashback when I was trying to hug you."

Sarah pulled away. No wonder the poor man was disturbed.

Unsure of what to do, Sarah sat back against the bed. "I'm so sorry for what I've been putting you through. First with the miscarriage, then with this transfer." Sickened with the realization that Matt's distress was her fault, Sarah was overwhelmed with despair.

"You make it sound like it was your fault."

"But it was. I did a terrible thing. I was beginning to think you'd regretted marrying me."

"Of course I don't regret marrying you. I've been hoping you wouldn't lose patience with me." Matt reached for Sarah. Reluctantly she climbed onto his lap and he rested his chin on her head as they wrapped their arms around one another. "What terrible thing are you talking about?"

Swallowing, Sarah knew she needed to say the words. "I know I didn't take proper care of myself. It's my fault our baby's gone." When Matt started to say something, she put up a hand. "Please let me finish. I know you're not going to enjoy the same privileges here that you had in D.C. You're compromising your career for me." She tried to push off of Matt's lap, but he held her in place. "It just shows what a good man you are, that you haven't said anything. I love you for it, but I hate that I'm doing this to you." It was Sarah's turn to break down.

Matt did not reply for a long time. As Sarah sobbed, she felt his hand holding her head against his shoulder, while his other arm remained wrapped around her. She held onto Matt, almost as if she were afraid to let go.

Finally, he smoothed her hair. "It's not your fault we lost our baby, Sarah. It just happened. The doctor told us she didn't know why our baby died. I do know that I almost lost you because it took so long to get you to the hospital. If only I'd been home when you first started bleeding…"

"I told you to go. There was no way we could have known what was going to happen. And the way I heard it, you saved my life. You kept me warm and had Rene drive us to the hospital instead of waiting for the ambulance."

"Okay. I'll admit that it's good I didn't get home any later." Matt was not to be deterred. "As for transferring here, I don't see how that's your fault. Wong was out to get both of us. I wouldn't want to work in D.C. if you weren't there. You're more important than any job. At least I'm still at the Agency. And now you can work in Analysis. I love that." He pulled away to look in her face, and she could read the sincerity in his eyes.

"Most people would resent the change."

His grey eyes darkened as he continued, his voice soft, "But it was so lonely in D.C. without you, beloved. I've missed you so much."

Fighting tears once again, Sarah replied, "I missed you, too. So much." She reached for the tissue box on the end table and blew her nose. She searched his eyes. "Matt? When you found me, it looked awful, didn't it? I didn't want you to find me like that, but after I tried to clean myself up, I couldn't seem to move." Her voice drifted off as she tried to remember details of that day. What was Matt seeing in these visions?

A shadow passed over Matt's face and she looked down. He did not have to say. It had been awful.

"I'm so sorry." Sarah was still fighting tears. She blew her nose again.

"You have nothing to apologize for." Matt waited until she was done with the tissue. "Sarah." He placed a finger under her chin and turned her face to his. "We've both been leaving Someone out of all of our troubles. You are my Sparrow. The Lord is watching over you."

"He brought you home just in time. I'm sitting here on your lap because of that."

"Yes. And He allowed us to keep our jobs. What if Wong had done something to get us fired?"

"What if Francine hadn't gone out a limb to hire another member of the Stetson clan?"

Matt smiled. "True. But it's so confusing having two Agent Grangers around, isn't it?" They both laughed. "At least we can be close by my family, if not yours." His eyes held hers for a moment before they focused on her mouth.

Sarah cupped his face in her hands and leaned into Matt, kissing him softly. He returned the kiss, holding her tightly against him.

"We can pray about your dreams—that they'd go away," she murmured as he softly kissed her cheek and forehead. She angled her head to one side as his lips touched her throat.

The sound of a distant door opening and closing stopped him. He sighed. "I was actually entertaining the idea of taking up where we left off yesterday morning."

"Maybe later."

"We have that party here tonight."

"Right." It was Sarah's turn to sigh in frustration.

"But I do have a solution. Do you remember what today is?"

Sarah decided to be playful. "Um…"

Matt chuckled. "This is a first. Usually the guy forgets."

Suddenly Sarah blurted out, "Our first anniversary? Of the day we met?"

Kissing her lightly on the nose, Matt affirmed her answer. "Yep." He stared at her for a moment and furrowed his brow in a mock frown. "But you already knew that."

Sarah shrugged her shoulders and chuckled. "Will we ever forget?"

Matt laughed in reply. "I don't think I will." He kissed her nose again. "Anyway, thanks to my dad, I have reservations at a nice little hotel in Fredericksburg for tomorrow and Saturday. We can drive down to San Antonio from there."

"It will be fun to see Fredericksburg. You've told me about it."

"Yes. And it will be good for us to have some time alone before we start at the San Antonio office next week."

"I love you like crazy, you know."

Matt gave Sarah a squeeze. "I love you like crazy, too." He sighed. "I don't deserve you."

"I was going to say the same thing."

They both laughed a little.

Despite the voices they now heard in the kitchen, Matt held Sarah on his lap a little while longer, kissing his wife and running his hand along her back.

Finally Sarah put a gentle hand on his chest. "Someone is going to come down that hall and hear us making out in here."

"So what? It's good for my sisters to know how much I love my wife." He ran his finger down her cheek. "Sarah, you must remember that I don't blame you for the miscarriage. Please don't entertain that thought ever again. It's too big of a burden to put on yourself."

Unable to hold his gaze, Sarah ducked her head.

He tipped her chin up with his finger. "I'm serious. We need to move forward." He took his hand away, and Sarah watched Matt, listening.

"My dad told me today that I would have had a little brother only a couple of years younger than me, but my mom miscarried."

"Your mom told me she had a miscarriage. She must have been pretty far along, if they knew it was a little boy. Why did they never mention it to you?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Matt replied, "I guess my parents thought I already knew. My dad said it was rough, but eventually they had Lauren. She didn't 'fix' things, but she helped them heal emotionally. He says it doesn't mean they don't wonder sometimes what he would have been like—what he would be doing right now."

"Our baby would have been about four months along." There was a catch in Sarah's voice, but she continued, "Someday we'll have another baby." She rested her head against Matt's shoulder again.

"I hope we have a few babies, eventually."

Sarah laughed. "Easy for you to say."

When Matt did not laugh with her, Sarah pulled away again to look in his face. His expression said everything. She had been thoughtless. While Matt would not have to be the pregnant one, he would bear the burden of remembering and worrying—or trying not to worry—along with her. "I'm sorry—"

"You don't need to apologize."

"We'll wait another year or two, Matt. God is watching over us, remember? We'll pray about it, and it will all work out."

"That's right. Like I said, we need to move forward. It won't always be easy, but we'll do it together. And I guess I'll be needing your patience with me."

Sarah answered him with a kiss. It was meant to be reassuring, and when she pulled away, she could see by her husband's expression that it had been the perfect thing to do. A sudden realization came over her.

"You know Matt, we've been pretty affectionate just now, and you don't seem to have had a flashback."

He stared at her thoughtfully. "You're right." He smiled sadly. "I've missed this so much. I can't even tell you."

"I've missed it, too." Sarah placed a hand on his cheek, but she was distracted by her previous train of thought. "But I had an idea. Tell me about your dream. Do I die every single time? You had a nightmare the other day, and I woke you up. Were you having that dream?" Sarah sat back on her heels, her hands still on Matt's arm.

"I have the dream every night now." He thought for a moment. "That time, when you woke me up, it was different." Her presence had been so reassuring afterwards. "In the dream, I finally was able to get to you in the shower, but this time you were alive, hugging me back."

Sarah ran a hand through Matt's hair. "Maybe you just needed some reassurance that I was okay. Maybe that's what you need to stop the nightmares."

"But I know you're okay. You're there in bed with me when I go to sleep."

"Who knows how the mind works? You could call Dr. Kirby and ask him if there's something you could do."

Matt reached out to take Sarah's braid in his hand. He fingered it idly. "I've been afraid to touch you—I'm a coward, really—afraid that I'd have the flashback if we became too physical. What happened yesterday morning only reinforced that fear."

"Maybe it will be different, now that I know what's going on."

"I should have told you what was going on in my mind yesterday morning. I was afraid to tell you I was dreaming about you dying. But it's worse to have hurt you like that."

"But what if we sit like this more often? You weren't having the dreams when we were together in New York for your birthday."

He smiled at the memory, but the smile soon faded. "No, I wasn't. It seemed to have started with the transfer—maybe it's brought on by stress."

"Well, maybe you can replace the bad memories with good ones. We haven't been together much lately. And maybe later tonight we can try…"

"I see where you're going with this." He smiled and kissed her.

"For now, we should pray."

"You're right." He took her hands in his and they bowed their heads, both taking turns with murmured prayers.

Afterwards, Matt felt as if a great burden had been lifted from his shoulders. "Thank you for that, beloved. It means a lot. I feel so much better, and I hope you do, too."

"I feel tons better." She leaned in to hug him briefly, and then maneuvered herself off of his lap and to a standing position. Holding out her hand, she prompted him to join her. "But this lovely time will have to come to an end. I promised your sisters I'd help get the house ready for tonight."

Matt smiled wryly. "I'm sure they won't forget that promise." As he stood, Matt's stomach growled. He laughed. "I guess it's lunchtime, too."

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Standing in a group of guests at the party later that evening, Matt was halfway listening as his friend Kate's fiancé recounted the story of their engagement. He had heard it once already, so he took the opportunity to scan the room. Emma stood nearby with her hand on Josh's arm. He was glad to see that they were still taking things slow. Emma was busy during the school year with classes, and when she was home, Josh often took Emma to group get-togethers. Josh was probably the biggest rule-follower of his friends, and he wanted to trust him with his sister, but she was still young—only twenty—and Josh was several years older. It would be at least another two years before his father was likely to approve of them marrying, if it went that far.

Allowing his eyes to wander around the room, he found Sarah watching him and he smiled at her. The smile she offered back made him wish that they were going to the hotel tonight—not tomorrow. Spotting Lauren standing by Sarah, he wondered where Brian could be. His friend had come to the party, but now he was nowhere to be seen. Brian and Lauren were usually inseparable. The family had expected them to be engaged by now, but his friend had still not popped the question to his sister.

He had been so wrapped up in his own problems, he had never asked Lauren about her life. He needed to pull her aside before they left town. For now, Matt turned his attention back to Micah.

However, it was later that night, when Matt and Sarah were waving goodbye to some of their guests, that Brian, who had reappeared at the party at some point, had pulled Matt aside. "Can I have a minute with you, man?"

Matt turned to Sarah, but she was already smiling politely and moving away. Matt led his friend over by the stable, away from the house. Brian seemed nervous, so Matt made small talk. "It was a good party. I think my parents are glad it didn't run late, though."

When Brian laughed in response, it seemed almost forced. Matt furrowed his brows for a moment, but quickly schooled his features. Brian was one to clam up easily when he was nervous or stressed, and he seemed tense now.

"Kate and Micah seem like a good match. I'm glad she found someone."

Now Brian's response seemed more natural. "We all thought for sure you two would end up together some day."

Matt brushed that comment aside. "Nah. I never felt anything more than friendship for her. She's like a sister, that's it."

"Josh was pretty worried when you and Maria seemed to be a couple. He wanted us to confront you about her."

A memory flitted across Matt's mind of the time several years ago, when Maria tried to take things further than a kiss. Only his parents and Sarah knew those stories. "She was desperate for attention. I guess I was in the right place at the right time."

"I think it was more than that for her. She had more than a crush on you. But she's moved on. She goes to a church over in Round Rock and was dating some guy from there, last I heard."

"That's good."

"Yeah, man. She was hanging around Lauren for a little while last Christmas. She's trying to do the right thing, but she needed a fresh start."

Matt cleared his throat. "Did you want to talk about Maria? Because it seemed like you had something else to say."

They were standing close enough to the stable now for Matt to see Brian's face. His expression was sheepish, as if he had been beating around the bush. Matt waited for his friend to speak.

But instead of being sheepish as he finally formed his words, Brian's stance became more self-assured. "You know I've been in love with your sister for a long time." It was not a question, so Matt merely nodded in affirmation. Brian looked away and laughed a little. "Sometimes she drives me a little crazy, with her silly jokes and blunt ways. I found myself pulling away."

Matt wondered where the conversation was headed, but he was not about to interrupt.

"A couple of months ago, I told your sister I needed some space. She was busy with the last of her final semester and had probably been feeling the same way, so she didn't seem to mind too much. We got back together by the time she graduated." Brian reached out and grabbed Matt's shoulder briefly. "By the way, I'm so sorry you and Sarah couldn't make it. I know it's been rough for both of you these last couple of months. I was glad to see you two looking so happy together."

He and Brian had already discussed the details about Sarah's miscarriage during a phone call a few weeks earlier, so Matt did not say much in reply. "It's getting easier—thanks. But tell me what you wanted to say about Lauren."

Brian hesitated for only a moment. "I realized as we spent time apart that I missed your sister like crazy. I love her, Matt. I have flaws of my own, and Lauren never complains about them. I've been hard on Lauren about a few things, but I can see her working on them." He waved a hand in the air. "But all that doesn't matter. What matters is that it's been worth waiting all this time for your sister. I love her the way she is. I want to marry her, have kids with her someday, grow old together. And I'm hoping you'll be okay with that. Your dad gave his permission tonight, but I need yours, too."

Matt guessed that Brian had been off talking with his father during the party. "You didn't have to ask me."

"Yes, I did. We're going to be family—I'm going to be your sister's husband, if she'll have me."

"You'll make her happy, Brian. I'm happy for both of you. Of course you have my permission. I'm honored you'd ask." Matt remembered asking Lee for Sarah's hand in marriage—and for permission to date her before that. His heart went out to his longtime friend. It had been a stressful evening for him.

"She's got that job lined up at the hospital in Round Rock. We can find a place near there and I'll commute. My office isn't that far away."

"Sounds like you have it all worked out. When do you plan to ask her?"

"I was thinking before your grandparents' party, so Lauren can show off the ring, if she wants. I have reservations at a nice restaurant in town for Wednesday night."

"That's great." Matt hugged his friend, slapping him on the back before stepping away. "Be sure to let me know when she says yes. Sarah and I will be in San Antonio during the week."

"You're more confident than I am. I've been kind of hard on her the last few months. I just wanted to be sure we were both ready."

"How do you know she is?" Matt grinned to himself. His sister had been ready to marry Brian a year ago.

The light was dim, but Matt was fairly certain Brian was blushing. "Let's just, uh, say that we had a little time alone before the party started."

Matt was sure that Lauren would offer details, since Brian was not. Not that Matt really wanted to know. He followed his friend back to the house, where Brian said his goodbyes.

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Stepping out of the bathroom, Matt caught Sarah unbuttoning her blouse. He eased up behind her and whispered in her ear as his hands slid around her waist. "Need some help, beautiful?" His lips found the soft skin on the back of her neck next to her braid. He had wanted to kiss her there all evening.

She turned to him wordlessly and their lips met as his hands went to the buttons and he walked her backwards to the bed. "Are you sure about this?" she whispered against his cheek. "I thought we were going to wait until we went to Fredericksburg."

"I don't want to wait that long." He slid the blouse down her arms and his hands went to the top button of her jeans, unbuttoning it before he pulled his head back. There was something he needed to tell her. "You were sweet at the party. You haven't had much of a chance to get to know my friends, but—"

Sarah placed a finger on his lips. "But I want to get to know them."

"And they're really your friends, too, since you're my wife."

"Exactly."

"I love you."

"I know." After they kissed again, Sarah tugged at Matt's shirt, and he helped her pull it over his head. She slipped out of her jeans and he picked her up in his arms. Just as he was laying Sarah on the bed, there was a knock on the door.

Matt froze. He had no intention of answering the knock.

"Matt, can I talk to you guys for just a minute?" Lauren sounded as if she had been crying.

Before he could reply, Sarah rolled away from him and reached for her pajamas. She called out, "Sure. Just give us a second." She threw Matt's shirt at him and mouthed, "Fredericksburg." Still kneeling on the bed, Matt pulled on his shirt.

After dressing quickly, Sarah went to the door and Matt scrambled to his feet.

"I'm sorry to disturb y'all. I thought I heard voices, so I figured it was okay to knock."

Sarah could see that Lauren had been crying. She led her into the room and sat down with her on the edge of the bed. Wrapping an arm around sister-in-law, Sarah looked at her expectantly.

"I just need to ask Matt if he talked with Brian. He was avoiding me all night. Things haven't been the best between us lately, and I'm afraid he's giving up on me."

Sarah looked up at Matt, who hesitated for only a moment. He had to tread carefully and not spoil Brian's surprise.

"Brian was talking with people when I saw him. He and I talked, too. He was telling me that he was planning to come to the anniversary party next weekend."

"Did he say anything about me?" Lauren sniffed and Sarah handed her a tissue.

"He told me how proud he was of you at your graduation." It was only a small lie. Brian had said as much in an email a couple of weeks earlier. "I know he loves you like crazy."

"You're just saying that."

Matt squinted at his sister. "I think you know better. When are you going out with him next?"

"On Wednesday. It's probably to break up with me."

After he silently appealed to his wife, Sarah joined in the conversation. "Oh, Lauren. Don't assume that. What are you guys planning to do?"

"He wants me to dress up. I'm not sure."

"See? Matt only does that when he wants to take me out on a special date."

"Lauren." Matt's voice was authoritative, but kind. "Brian loves you. I'm sure of it. He was complimentary about you tonight." He waved his hand, palm up, at her. "Why would he ask you to dress up for a date if he was going to break up with you?"

After looking back and forth between her brother and sister-in-law, Lauren sighed. "I know he loves me, but I just wish I knew what he was thinking. When he got here tonight he was…" Lauren blushed. "…um, friendly. Then later, he was so strange—almost distant. He's been like that a lot during the last few months. Before graduation, he even asked me to take a break from dating. A guy doesn't do that unless he's ready to call it quits."

Sarah's eyes went wide as Lauren glanced up at Matt. He knew she was becoming as worried as Lauren. Before Sarah could say anything, Matt blurted out, "Well, he didn't act like he was pulling away at all when we talked. You need to stop reading into things. Talk with him on Wednesday."

Lauren sighed again and was silent a moment before rising to her feet. "Okay. I know you two want to go to bed. I hope I didn't inter—" Lauren's eyes went wide and she stopped herself. It was obvious from her expression she had been about to make some kind of innuendo. Matt was grateful she had not. "I'm sorry I kept you up. Good night." She slipped out the door as Sarah and Matt called good night after her.

They didn't say anything as Matt quickly changed into his pajamas and climbed under the covers with Sarah. Lauren and Emma kept the thermostat rather low at night, so Sarah and Matt did not mind cuddling. But he kept his hands mostly to himself. They would pick up where they left off when they got to Fredericksburg.

"I love the way you watch out for your sisters, Matt."

Her braid now undone, Sarah's loose hair framed her face. Matt smoothed it away. "No more than any other brother."

"I watched you observing Emma and Josh—and then Lauren. I also know you must have talked about Lauren with Brian."

He kept his voice as quiet as possible as he spoke in Sarah's ear. "He plans to ask her to marry him—I guess on Wednesday. He asked my permission after talking to Dad."

"Oh!" Sarah lowered her voice. "Sorry! I should have seen that coming. Too bad Lauren has to worry until then."

"Yeah, well, I'm not about to ruin his surprise."

"At least you were reassuring. You are a good brother."

"Hopefully I can be a better husband to you. I'm afraid I've fallen down in that department."

Sarah turned over so she was facing Matt. "Don't say things like that. We're moving forward, remember?"

"Yeah. Easier said than done, sometimes."

"If we get some sleep, it will be easier."

Grinning, Matt replied, "Because we won't be sleeping much this weekend, right?"

Sarah's laugh came out as a giggle. She covered her mouth to stifle the sound. When she pulled her hand away, he kissed her.

"Good night, sweetie."

"Good night, my love."

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Lee ran a hand through his hair as he stepped onto the elliptical. He reached for the remote control and switched on the television and flipped through the channels, scanning the morning news with the volume muted.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Amanda walk in and begin her yoga stretches. She usually ignored the television, preferring the internet for her morning news. Soon Lee settled on his favorite channel, but a moment later, he was turning up the volume. "What the hell?"

Amanda's voice was muffled as she answered from her mat on the floor, "What is it?"

"It's Gil."

Her head popped up and soon Amanda's eyes were glued to the television screen, too, as they watched the announcer describe the lurid details of yet another Washington bureaucrat caught cheating with a co-worker. Richard Wong's tape ran on a loop several times before the news outlet switched to archived footage of Gil being interviewed earlier that year. A still of his administrative assistant popped up on the screen. She appeared to be young, beautiful, and innocent—not a co-conspirator of Richard Wong's.

Lee did not realize he had been frozen in place until the elliptical beeped and a commercial blared.

"What happened, Lee? Is this part of the plan?"

Turning to Amanda, he uttered, "I hope it's part of the plan, because Wong just threw Gil under the bus. Let's hope someone is ready to return the favor to Wong."

"I wish we could call Francine. But she probably has her hands more than full right now."

"You can say that again." Lee's phone buzzed, and he pulled it from the cupholder of the elliptical. "Stetson here." He mouthed Jamie's name to Amanda.

"Gil gave you a heads up? Why not us?" Lee growled. Soon his expression softened as he listened for a few minutes.

Amanda could barely contain herself until Lee and Jamie wrapped up the call.

"Yeah, of course. I'm sure you and Phillip have enough to worry about without calling us. Thanks, Jamie." Lee ended the call and put his phone back in the cupholder.

"I take it Jamie was giving us some kind of heads up?"

"Yeah. I guess Gil called Francine yesterday evening and she had everyone in at zero dark thirty to start monitoring the news outlets. Phillip and Jamie saw no reason to wake us up until it was a reasonable hour. But I guess we got up earlier than they expected and already had the news going."

"What's being done? Is Gil really being asked to resign?"

"That's the cover story. The president was not too happy about letting this thing play out on the national news, but it will be easier to punish Wong more severely. If we had cut things off before the tape was played on the air, then it would have been harder to prove malicious intent in court. On top of that, he violated his confidentiality oath by naming names."

"What are Phillip and Jamie doing about this? Isn't it a legal issue?"

"Yes. But Jamie's people have been helping Phillip's people create another tape for legal—maybe even to feed to the press. This one features Wong meeting with the actor. Apparently Jamie's been running facial recognition software for weeks, and he finally found them coming and going from a coffee house."

Amanda's forehead wrinkled. "I know we want to go after Richard Wong, but isn't it a security issue to broadcast his face on the national news?"

"I think the biggest concern is to make sure Gil Barclay is cleared. Jamie's assistant Kerry has also played around with Richard's video and made the edits more obvious."

"Sounds like the timing for all of this was tricky."

Lee nodded and started up the elliptical again. "It would have been difficult to press charges without solid evidence. Phillip and Jamie had to keep their hands off of the videos because of their connections to me and Sarah. Francine directed their people."

"So what happens now?"

"Well, Wong will be arrested and charged, and the President will make some sort of statement about Gil. Let's hope the press doesn't mind admitting they were suckered in by Richard Wong." Lee made a face.

"What?"

"It's dumb."

"Stetson, talk to me."

Lee grinned a little at Amanda's bossy tone. "I like it when you talk to me that way."

Amanda was not to be deterred. Something was bothering her husband. It was better he get off his chest right away than stew over it. Besides, she had not had breakfast yet, so she was not in the mood for his flirting. "Lee. What's on your mind?"

He stared at her for a moment, his flirtatious mood gone once again, replaced with a slightly melancholy one. "I was just thinking about how I used to stay up all night supervising this sort of thing. Now people are worrying about waking us up too early. I feel like an old horse being put out to pasture."

"It's a drag," Amanda commiserated. "But we put in a lot of years. This is one headache I'm glad to stay out of."

Lee sped up his pace a little at her words. "You make a good point. And talking about horses has me thinking. We owe Pilgrim and Panda a visit."

"Didn't we go just last week?" She changed yoga positions. "And the week before that?"

"I was hoping to make it a weekly thing."

Amanda smiled wanly. "Sure, Scarecrow. Anything for you. I'll go take some antihistamines as soon as I'm through here."

"We can spend the night at the cabin." He waggled his eyebrows at her. "I'll cook dinner."

Amanda closed her eyes, willing herself to relax in yet another position. "Now we're talkin'."


	14. Chapter 14

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Chapter Fourteen

At the junction of the two country highways, Matt turned left. "Not far now, sweetie."

Sarah turned from the window and smiled over at Matt, but only briefly. Her eyes were glued to the side of the road, searching for wildflowers. Although they had stopped to admire and take photos of several patches of Mexican blanket and different varieties of yellow flowers, Sarah had not tired of watching for them. She had not been joyful like this since before the miscarriage.

Matt sighed softly in contentment. They should have gone looking for wildflowers sooner.

"You okay?"

Matt glanced over at Sarah, and saw her watching him with concern. "Oh, I couldn't be better. I'm happy to see you enjoying the drive."

His answer seemed to satisfy her, and she grew quiet again.

Although it was a relatively short drive of two hours, they were both a little tired of being in the car—it would be good to get off the road and spend some time walking around Fredericksburg, the historic hill country town that was their destination.

The party had not ended terribly late, but Lauren's drama over her relationship with Brian had kept them up even later. Sarah had said that they had been brought to Texas for moments like that one. He knew she was right, but a selfish part of him hoped they would not have any more of that drama.

Then, this morning Matt had feared that Sarah was still avoiding him. When he had awakened, her side of the bed was empty and cold. After dressing quickly, he had been surprised to find the hallway smelling of blueberry muffins. He had made his way out to the kitchen, where Sarah was pulling a double batch from the oven. Her hair hung in a braid down her back, and she had smelled faintly of roses and baking when he had touched his lips to that spot he loved on the back of her neck. _He slipped his hands around her waist as she moved the muffins from the pans to the cooling racks._

 _She laughed softly at the encumbrance._ _"I can't move."_

 _Matt did not let her protests stop him from holding her. "I remember you making me blueberry pancakes at my old apartment."_

 _Sarah seemed to be only half-joking when she shushed him. "Hey, that's our secret. We weren't married. People will get the wrong idea."_

 _He moved his mouth to her ear. "What? That we slept together before we were married? Because we did."_

 _Sarah turned in Matt's arms and swatted at him. "You make it sound bad. All we did was sleep."_

" _I skedaddled out of that bed as soon as I woke up. You are an enticing woman." Before Sarah could protest, he kissed her. "I suppose you already went running."_

 _He tried to keep his tone light, but Sarah studied his face before replying. "I haven't been up that long. I baked these while I was waiting for you."_

He remembered grinning widely. _"Good. You ready to go?"_

" _Just let me wash up these pans."_

Matt had grabbed a towel and dried the mixing bowl while Sarah had scrubbed the pans. It had felt good to do something normal together. And the run afterwards, while slower than their usual pace for Sarah's sake, had felt good. Matt was grateful that there was a weight machine and a treadmill in the exercise room at their residence hotel in San Antonio. He was missing his regular workouts. And from the increased color in his wife's face, he could see the morning runs were helping her recover.

"A penny for your thoughts."

Glancing her way again, Matt smiled. "I was just thinking about how impressed I was with our run this morning. You're already getting back into shape."

"I'm slow."

"Not that bad."

"At least I don't look pale anymore."

He reached for her hand and kissed it. "You look lovely."

"Thanks." She regarded him for a moment. "You really didn't have the dream last night?"

"Really. Not even the one where you're okay. I don't remember dreaming at all." He released her hand as traffic ahead of them slowed. "We're almost there. It's just down this road to the airport."

"Airport?"

"Yeah. The hotel has an historical aviation theme. I thought you would enjoy the historical part."

"It sounds fun. Aren't we going to that Pacific War museum, too?"

"Tomorrow. Before it gets too hot, we'll tour the outside exhibits, which are modeled after a south Pacific island military base." He rubbed his stomach. "For now, I'm hungry. They said we could check in early, but I want to get to a restaurant soon."

"Fine with me."

Both Matt and Sarah did double takes when they realized their hotel looked like a Quonset hut. But once inside, they were taken with the 1940s Pacific War theme. The staff wore flight-crew uniforms and palms decorated the lobby. Big band music added to the ambiance, as did the vintage décor. Inside their room, the bed was constructed of mahogany and two distressed-leather armchairs stood by the window.

Matt barely had a chance to set down their luggage before Sarah was throwing her arms around him. "I love it, Matt. Thank you for bringing me here."

"You're welcome." His stomach gurgled before he could say anything more.

She giggled a little. "We'd better go feed you."

After admiring more of their hotel, Matt took Sarah downtown for lunch. They strolled along the sidewalks the rest of the afternoon, ducking in and out of stores and purchasing gifts for the family.

Matt chuckled at Sarah's enthusiasm. "How are you planning to give these? Send them home?"

"They're for Christmas and birthdays. You know I like to shop all year."

"I thought you hated shopping."

"This is kind of fun."

For dinner they split a meal at the German restaurant near the museum. Sarah was still holding her stomach when they returned to the hotel. "Oh, I ate too much today."

"You ate a sandwich, part of an ice cream cone, and half a serving of schnitzel. I'm not even stuffed and I finished off your ice cream cone after eating my own."

"You forgot the cake we had for dessert. And at dinner we ate salad and all of those potatoes. Then there was the fudge this afternoon. You must have an extra compartment in your stomach or something."

Matt laughed and drew her near. "Maybe a little exercise will help."

Lowering her eyebrows, Sarah pretended to grow serious. "I don't know. We already ran this morning and walked all over town."

His fingers went to the top button on her blouse. "I had something else in mind."

"Oh?"

Sarah looked down and watched her husband's fingers on her buttons for a moment. When she raised her face again, his lips found hers. He tossed the blouse on the chair nearby and ran his hands over her back as his kisses moved down her throat and along her collarbone.

Sighing, she murmured, "You have good ideas, Mr. Granger."

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Upon waking the next morning, it took Sarah several seconds to remember where she was. She listened for a moment and heard Matt making a call in the bathroom. Although it was a bit of a reach, somehow he had managed to snake the room's phone off the desk and take the handset behind the closed door. She stretched and craned her head to look around. The clothes that had been tossed onto the armchairs the night before were either on hangers or folded neatly on top of their suitcases.

Matt ended the call and poked his head around the doorjamb. He smiled and walked over to the bed when he saw her sitting up. "Good morning, beautiful." He sat down beside her and kissed her, placing a hand on her sheet-covered knee.

"Who was that on the phone?"

"Room service. It will be about forty-five minutes. You can take a shower if you like."

"I see you already did." She reached up to touch his damp hair, the sheet slipping down with her movement. Pulling the sheet back up, she blushed a little. "I guess we never got around to unpacking our pajamas last night."

"I didn't mind." Matt's eyes twinkled.

"I know you didn't. At least I had that distinct impression early this morning."

A shadow passed over Matt's face, but neither of them acknowledged it. Matt had awakened them both with another nightmare. However, once again Sarah was there to comfort him, and as she had just implied, he had quickly forgotten the dream.

He caressed her arm and smoothed the hair away from her face. "We needed another honeymoon, beloved."

Resting her head on his shoulder, Sarah nodded. "Yes, we did."

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The museum was such a hit with Sarah that they went back after lunch to finish going through the exhibits. Late in the day they returned to their room to change for dinner. Matt wore a dress shirt and slacks, and Sarah wore the sleeveless dress that she had brought for the anniversary party that would be held in honor of Matt's grandparents the following weekend.

When she stepped out of the bathroom, Matt's gasp was audible. "You look gorgeous." He moved to her side and ran his hand over her back, enjoying the silkiness of the sheer pale blue chiffon. A light blue and green leaf-patterned tunic was just visible through the translucent fabric, which complemented Sarah's dark hair and fine features. The length—coming to a few inches above Sarah's knees—was perfect, in Matt's mind, for showing off his wife's slim, yet shapely, legs. "I remember when you came to the door the night I asked your dad permission to date you. You were wearing this dress. For a fleeting moment I wondered if I had the right to have someone as lovely as you for a girlfriend."

"Well, I don't know if I'm that lovely, but why not? You're a pretty amazing catch yourself."

"So you keep saying."

Sarah stood close to Matt and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. "Because it's true, my love." When she kissed him, he held her tightly and kissed her back.

At last he pulled away. His arms still wrapped around Sarah, he stared into her face for a long moment. She waited, wondering what was on his mind.

Finally he sighed. A look of quiet joy came over his face. "I was just thinking of how blessed I am to have you as my wife. God is so good."

Her arms still wrapped around his neck, Sarah gazed fondly at Matt. "God has been good to both of us. I'm so happy He brought us together." She reached up to kiss his cheek and pulled back, her eyes alight. "You know, this dress triggered a good memory for you."

Matt's mouth tipped into a smile. "You're right." He bent his head to kiss Sarah softly on the lips. "I'd make a new memory of helping you back out of the dress, but we have a reservation."

Placing a hand on the side of his face, she smiled. "We'll get back to this later."

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For the fifteenth time that morning, Matt pretended to connect the wires in the cable box. From his perch high on the utility pole, he had a bird's eye view of the drop site. There were two other agents monitoring the same location, each of them with a different disguise. In his earpiece, he received occasional updates from the lead agent, Billings, who waited on a park bench. With his phone on his lap and a Bluetooth in his ear, he appeared to be engrossed in a phone conversation. The location was far from hot, so occasionally the agent masquerading as a homeless man, Scarletti, would chat with Billings. Matt, partly out of principle and partly out of practicality, remained silent, hopefully appearing to be engrossed in his work. While passersby would have wondered why the cable guy was talking to himself, no one questioned the seemingly crazy ramblings of the impoverished man with the shopping cart.

"This mess with the director is out of control. Did you hear that Richard Wong set the whole thing up? It's just one big attempt to slander the guy," Scarletti grumbled.

"He was blackmailing the director. That's the only way that jerk could have gotten the job of training the new recruits." Billings was matter-of-fact, with only a hint of sarcasm.

"Jeez. Why go to the trouble of blackmailing for that?"

"Maybe he wanted to work himself up to section chief." Billings was beginning to sound impatient.

"I heard he was a real di— Uh, I heard he was hard to work with. Hey, Granger, didn't your wife train under him?"

"Scarletti—"

"Right. He can't talk to us. I guess she doesn't report to Wong anymore, anyway." There was a quiet spell of perhaps thirty seconds, and Scarletti spoke again. "Even if Wong staged the whole thing, you gotta wonder why Barclay was at that chick's place."

"We don't know that he really was."

"Heads up. The target is on his way." Matt was happy to interrupt. The conversation about Richard Wong was giving him indigestion. He liked Billings and Scarletti, but at times, Scarletti did not always use discretion. Billings was rock-solid. For that reason, they made a great team. Scarletti respected Billings' seniority and Scarletti added energy to their partnership. Matt tried not to think about Scarletti having seniority over him—it was a fact he would have to accept, even if he could see occasional flaws in the other agent's methods. For one thing, he had been taught to keep silent on operations—conversation kept everyone from having their full attention on their surroundings. But lack of experience and a more relaxed attitude was to be expected. Many agents assigned to U.S. field offices had not been exposed to war zones or other similarly stressful situations.

Certainly the agents in D.C. were under duress this week. If the news of Gil Barclay's video had brought down morale at the San Antonio office, Matt could only wonder what it was doing in Washington. It had blown up while he and Sarah had been enjoying their weekend alone in Fredericksburg. Now it was Tuesday and the truth was only just beginning to come out. He prayed that Richard Wong's blackmailing would be brought to light properly and he would be sent to jail. He also sent up a prayer for Georgette and Gil Barclay. He could not imagine how difficult all the publicity would be for her.

The target approached the drop site, drawing everyone's attention. Matt had followed him with his helmet camera, adjusting the angle at Billings' prompting. Within five minutes, the target had been tracked to a late model sedan and was being followed to the freeway. The agents on site packed up and headed back to the office.

Once there, Matt took a detour to the Analysis section, where he found Sarah researching the criminal history of a drug cartel leader. She seemed glad for a distraction. "Hey. Did you enjoy being a lineman for a day?" She started humming a few bars of the Glen Campbell tune, "Wichita Lineman."

He laughed. "Sure. It could have been pretty boring, but it was fun watching people from up above." He paused and grew serious. "How are you doing? Everyone keeps talking about Richard Wong."

Sarah hesitated, as if she were trying to form her words. "Same here. It's hard not correcting them when they say things about Gil Barclay."

Crouching down near her desk, Matt spoke in a whisper. "You know what Larry Chen said. Internal affairs policy. We can't let anyone know what we know. They'll wonder how we found out ahead of time." Matt watched as Sarah nodded in reply before patting her hand. "I have to get to my desk and write up my report. I'll see you later."

"See you." She grinned at Matt as he stood and made his way to the field section.

He would never get tired of Sarah smiling at him that way. Things were so much better between them since they had talked—and spent that weekend alone. Sarah seemed once again like the sweet young girl he had fallen for a year ago. Her body had healed, and so had her heart, for the most part. After all that had happened in their lives, he was grateful for that gift.

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

The image was so vivid—Sarah, who had been crumpled not in the shower, but under the stairs at Jamal's hideout this time—was suddenly smiling at him, reassuring him. He could hear her voice, calling him. It was soft, but urgent. She sounded so concerned.

"Matt! Honey, wake up."

He opened his eyes. He had been dreaming again. As before, Sarah hovered over him in the dark, her hand on his shoulder.

His voice groggy, he mumbled, "I'm okay. Sorry I woke you again."

Sighing as she lay back down beside him, Sarah replied, "You don't have to apologize." She ran a hand along his cheek and over his chest. "I'm sorry you had another bad dream."

Turning on his side, he drew closer and wrapped an arm around her. "At least it ended well."

"It didn't sound like it." She sighed again. "You were practically sobbing."

"I don't know why I had the dream again. We had that great weekend."

"Work stress—you know, Richard Wong."

"I guess so." He ran a hand over her arm. "Love you."

"Love you, too." Her voice was sleepy now.

Matt lay quietly, listening to Sarah's breathing slow into an even rhythm. There was something reassuring about having her sleeping beside him. He had not realized just how much it had meant to him until he had been forced to go back to sleeping alone when he and Sarah had been separated those weeks she was in New York. It would be easy to be angry at Richard Wong for all he had done, but physically separating them for several weeks had not been nearly as bad as Wong's mistreatment of Sarah while she had been going through training.

Several coworkers had inferred that Wong had been responsible for the miscarriage. But Matt could not allow himself to think that way. He and Sarah, each on their own, had come to the realization that it would not do either of them any good to harbor bitterness towards Richard. And finally, each of them had learned to not blame themselves for things—at least they were taking steps to avoid that kind of thinking.

So why was he having that dream again? Dr. Kirby had called Matt at work that week—perhaps it was a follow-up, or perhaps it was friendly concern. The man must have known that Richard Wong was a topic of discussion in all of the Agency offices. But Matt had forgiven Wong. Matt lay there, trying to calm himself so he could go back to sleep.

Unbidden, a memory of a conversation with Pastor Carlson came to mind. It had been about forgiveness. Matt tried to remember why the topic had arisen, but that seemed inconsequential. The pastor's words were repeating themselves in Matt's mind. Forgiveness was an ongoing process. Perhaps his mentor's words had been in the context of grieving. Like grieving, anger often came in waves. One could be assaulted with an emotional response when one was least expecting it. Perhaps the gossip about Richard Wong had brought back some kind of insecurity or another emotion from all the turmoil he and Sarah had gone through that year. Perhaps the dream was just a way for his mind to work it out. There were a few things one could do to ease through the grieving process. With anger issues, it was important to address the anger and forgive again, if needed. But most important of all, Matt needed to pray for God's help.

Lying there in the dark, with his wife sleeping beside him, he began to pray in earnest.

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"That's good news, Gil. You've done a lot of good as director. It would be a big mistake to let you go." Lee sipped his beer and looked around the restaurant. They had chosen one far enough away from Capitol Hill to avoid the attention of the press or other prying eyes. Still, a few patrons had glanced their way more than once.

Using his fork to toy with the remains of his salad, Gil grew thoughtful. "I'm not ready to offer my resignation, yet. But I think Georgette won't mind when I decide to retire. For now, she's being supportive."

"She's an amazing woman."

"You don't have to tell me that."

Lee reflected on what the Barclays had endured at Richard Wong's hand. Not only was Richard being prosecuted on several charges, Gil Barclay was suing him for defamation of character. Gil was pushing for Wong to pay damages of some sort to Sarah and Matt, too. That seemed like more of a long shot.

"I heard Leah Wong has filed for divorce."

"I guess she didn't buy his lies to the press—hopefully he actually told her the truth." Gil stared down at the table for a moment.

"You're a good man to hold off on that lawsuit."

"I want to be sure the family isn't hit. Let Leah switch the kids' college accounts to her name as custodian. Wong's family will suffer enough from his loss of income. If he's in jail and unemployed, he won't be able to pay child support or alimony."

"Wong is likely to lose. I'm not a big advocate of lawsuits, but this is the only way to really make sure he shuts up about you."

"I guess Francine is glad to have him out of the office. She's already put Grace Tanaka in charge of the freshmen." He stared knowingly at Lee. Gil knew that Grace and Sarah had worked well together. Grace would be lobbying for Sarah's return, even if she went to Analysis.

Lee still wanted to ask the question. "So, what does that mean for Sarah and Matt?"

"It means I can finally choose where to place my people. There's a smart young gal with a Master's from Georgetown who could really add to Analysis. And her husband was one of the sharpest agents in the D.C. office. Now he's been relegated to backup for Scarletti and Billings."

With his thumb and forefinger, Lee spun his beer glass, watching the last ounce or two swirl around. "Billings is sharp—I worked with him once. Amanda had a bit of trouble with Scarletti. He's not always on the ball."

"Then I should end Matt's agony and have Human Resources bring him back to D.C."

Looking up, Lee's brow lowered. "You're not going to like my response to that."

Gil Barclay leaned back in his seat. "You want me to send them to Farnsworth Manor? Tristan Bates has said he could use the extra help. Summer in England can be beautiful."

"They're not pawns to be moved from here to there. Sarah's in her third office in six months. She's still newly married, really, and they lost the baby less than two months ago. Matt has had a rough time with all of this, too."

"Really, Lee? You want me to keep them in a field office? Sarah can't do diddly there—not compared to what she could do working for Jamie. I see her taking over that department—or at least moving up the ladder—if Jamie ever decides to move into the private sector."

"Private sector? Jamie?" Lee was playing dumb. Jamie had mentioned something about a recruiter.

"You know I have my ear to the ground, Lee. That head hunter—whose phone number is on our alert list—called him three times at work in the last month."

Lee did not address Gil's comments further. He knew Jamie was staying put for now, but that was Jamie's business. "My point, Gil, is that those kids need some recuperation time. They've been through some hell, thanks to Richard and those cartel thugs—don't forget about them. Matt could use some time running backup. It pays less, but it might be good for him. You know he's a candidate for burnout. Let him work under less pressure for a while." Lee sat up and smiled to himself. "When I spoke with Sarah the other night, she seemed pretty tickled to be in Analysis, even if it would be even more interesting here in D.C."

Gil Barclay had listened patiently as Lee made his point. "I remember a time when pride would have had you bringing your daughter and son-in-law back to Washington, no matter what."

"I've learned a thing or two over the years. Almost losing Sarah more than once has taught me a lot."

"She's a lot safer in San Antonio—she doesn't ever venture into the field, and Matt has a low profile." Gil was pondering Lee's words. "Does Matt like being near his family?"

Lee laughed, remembering Sarah's comment. She would never speak badly about Matt's family behind their backs, but had not been hard to read between the lines. They did not have much privacy around his sisters. "I'm thinking they would like to be back in their place in Arlington at some point."

"It's hard visiting family when you're newly married. I remember trying to go home after being gone for years at college and law school." Gil chuckled at some memory.

"I could be wrong. They may not want to come back here." Lee smiled sardonically.

"Oh, of course they will. Tell you what, Lee. I'll have Human Resources write up paperwork for a 45-day term in that office—they'll end up being gone about two months total, figuring in weekends and the PTO I forced on them. Just long enough to recuperate a little—and for Matt to have a good influence on Scarletti." Gil smiled a little. "That ought to give enough time for the worst of the Richard Wong mess to be over."

"Then, in a few months, he'll have court hearings."

"Let's hope the press doesn't consider him newsworthy by then." Gil signaled for the bill. When Lee started to protest, Gil put up a hand. "Let me get this. I appreciate all the support you've given me, Lee." After paying the server, Lee and Gil walked out to the parking lot together. The afternoon had already grown warm. Gil ran a hand under his collar. "Those kids won't miss the humidity, I'm sure. It's hot in San Antonio, but not as humid."

"Thanks for giving them some time away, Gil. I know you could have had Human Resources handle all of this. You have enough to worry about—looking out for Sarah and Matt means a lot."

"Like I said, you've been really supportive, Lee, and I thank you for it. I owe you for staying on as section chief for so long." He jingled his keys thoughtfully. "Besides, your girl is an asset to the Agency. I want to make good use of her talents in the right department this time. She should have gone straight to Analysis, not New York. And I know Matt is a good man. Francine speaks highly of him." Gil winked conspiratorially.

Lee laughed out loud. The Francine of the old days would have been critical of anyone with as little Agency experience as Matt—no matter their level of talent or previous experience.

The two men shook hands and went their separate ways. Lee was thoughtful as he climbed into his BMW. Before he drove away, however, he found himself bending his head and offering up a prayer of thanks. It was a foreign action for him, but he felt the need to do it. Gil Barclay had not only agreed to allow Sarah and Matt time to get over all the turmoil in their lives, but he had virtually guaranteed that Sarah would have the job she wanted in Analysis. He could not wait to hear the excitement in her voice when she eventually learned of the news. For now, he could go home and tell Amanda.

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The sixtieth anniversary party for Sharon's parents, William and Florence, was well underway. Several longtime family friends had shown up for the event, as well as distant relatives. At the moment she was feeling a bit overwhelmed from meeting all the new faces and had escaped outside for a small break. She wrapped her bare arms around herself when a slight breeze came up, ruffling her dress.

Although Sarah was a bit overwhelmed at the moment, Sarah had found herself caught up in the joyful party preparations when she and Matt had arrived at his parents' home mid-afternoon the day before. She was particularly fond of Florence, and Matt had reminded her more than once how happy he was that his grandmother was fond of Sarah, too.

The feeling had been reinforced when the two women had found themselves alone together just before dinner the evening before. Matt and his father had just finished their work outside, and Matt had ducked into the bathroom for a shower. Sharon had insisted Sarah take a break with Florence in the living room, while Sharon, Lauren, and Emma finished dinner preparations.

" _Really, Sarah. Lauren hasn't started her new job, yet, so the girls have been kicking back. You've been working a new job all week and you haven't sat down since you got out of the car today. I'd make the girls put the food on the table themselves, but we'd be eating at midnight." Sarah's mother-in-law had laughed and turned to the kitchen, while Florence had led the way to the living room, where they had sat down together._

" _How you holding up, sweetie?"_

 _Confused at first, Sarah had replied, "Actually, I'm a lot better. It was fun to help decorate for your party this afternoon. And I'm so excited for Lauren and Brian."_

 _Florence nodded. "That's quite a rock he gave her. I tell you, she'd better appreciate that man. He has a heart of gold, putting up with her silly ways."_

" _He loves her the way she is."_

" _No kidding." Florence grew more serious. "But when I asked how you were holding up, I meant about losing the baby. I know it might seem unkind to bring it up, but you and I haven't talked, and one shouldn't try to sweep important things under the rug."_

 _Sarah had already learned that Florence was a direct person. Rather than be offended at having to discuss a difficult topic, Sarah was relieved. "Actually, it's nice that you are asking. Sometimes people feel awkward or uncomfortable…" Sarah's voice had drifted off._

" _That's true. Do you and my grandson talk about it? It's important to talk sometimes."_

" _You speak as if you've had some experience." When Florence only nodded, Sarah continued. "It hasn't always been easy, but Matt has been good to me. I wanted to blame myself, but he wouldn't let me."_

" _Oh honey, don't go down that road. Sharon told me what happened—what the doctor said. We're all just so grateful that the Lord spared you. Of course, Matt is the most grateful of all. That boy is certainly smitten with you. Even more than when we saw you both last fall."_

 _Reddening, Sarah was not sure how to answer. She managed, "I wasn't really expecting marriage to bring us closer together—we were already pretty close—but it has."_

 _Florence leaned over and patted Sarah's hand. "Time will just strengthen that bond. I'm praying for you both every day."_

" _Thank you, Florence. That means a lot."_

" _Of course, honey. I can't always do a lot anymore, but I can pray for my darling grandchildren—and that includes you."_

 _Touched, Sarah had not realized she was crying until a tear rolled down her cheek. She swiped it away, but not before someone else had noticed._

" _Grandma, are you making my girl cry?" Matt stroked Sarah's hair before resting his hand on her shoulder._

" _Since you're such a spy, I guess you can answer that one for yourself."_

Sarah, who had been looking down at her lap, had felt her eyes widen with surprise. If only Florence had known that her teasing comment had held much more truth than she realized.

Now, standing on the driveway under the stars, Sarah felt that same affectionate touch on her shoulder once again as Matt joined her.

"Hello beautiful lady. Have I told you how lovely you look tonight?"

"Yes, my sweet husband." While they were dressing earlier, Matt had reminded her how much he liked the dress she had brought for the party.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him. "A penny for your thoughts."

Sarah smiled at the familiar phrase and turned to Matt. "I was just thinking about how kind your grandmother was yesterday."

She waved a hand at the lights that Matt and David had hung in the trees around the house and at the cars parked along the driveway. "This is all so nice. You and your family celebrating your grandparents' anniversary—all the people showing up for it."

Moving his hand down her arm in a soothing gesture, Matt looked serious. "Yet you seem a little sad."

"I can tell from your expression that you probably can guess what I'm thinking." But it was important that she say the words anyway—they had both seen what miscommunication could do. "Please don't feel badly that I've never experienced this sort of thing." Reaching up, she placed a hand on Matt's face. _How was it possible that someone could become so dear in such a short time as only one year?_ she wondered to herself. "I was thinking that because of you, now I get to have another grandmother and a grandfather. Not only that, but I get to help celebrate something amazing like sixty years of marriage. That is a gift."

"That's a sweet thing to say." Gathering her in his arms, Matt touched his lips to Sarah's forehead. "I love you."

Resting her head on his shoulder, Sarah enjoyed their close embrace. "Are you sure you won't mind spending most of our summer out here? Francine made it sound like we could come back sooner, if we wanted."

Matt was incredulous. "Made it sound like? She was more obvious than that—she wants us back now." Sarah could feel the rumble in his chest as he chuckled. "I'm so proud of you, earning that spot in Jamie's department. Gil Barclay's comments in your personnel file are impressive. Most new agents don't get such a glowing recommendation."

"Oh—thanks." Sarah blushed at the compliment. "So, do you think we should go back to D.C. now?"

"Yes, if you are eager to start with Jamie."

"But what about you?"

When Matt did not answer right away, Sarah began to feel that her earlier concerns were correct about Matt resenting his role in the San Antonio office. But he surprised her.

"You know, I think, if you can handle waiting a few weeks, it would be good for both of us to spend the summer here."

Sarah leaned back so she could search Matt's face. "Really?"

"Yeah. The first couple of days, I have to say, I felt like I was twiddling my thumbs—you know, wasting my time." He gazed off at the twinkling lights of Austin in the distance, and then looked back down at Sarah. "But then I realized that it was kind of nice to let someone else take the lead for a change. I know Rene is the lead agent, but we're more of a team than anything. We've got each other's backs out there. And the risks are sometimes high." His eyes widened almost imperceptibly and he backpedaled. "I mean, they can be high. Rene and I are careful."

Sarah laughed softly. "I know you're careful. You don't have to reassure me. I know what you're up against."

"Of course you do. I guess what I'm saying is that's it's nice to finally have us both off the front lines for a little while. I think it's why I haven't had that dream the last several nights."

"I hope you don't ever have the dream again." Her eyes met his. "Honestly, I'm glad to be off the front lines permanently. I appreciate all that everyone, including you, has done to help prepare me for confronting dangerous situations, but I'd rather use my head to investigate and analyze." She placed her hand on his chest. "Honestly, it's nice to have you out of the line of fire for a while. But at some point you're going to miss it. It's what you've wanted since you were a boy."

He watched her face, smiling faintly. "Have I told you I love you lately?"

She kissed his cheek. "Yes. And I love you."

"I know you do, because you are basically telling me that I should go live my dream again at the end of the summer."

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

His eyebrows lowered. "As long as you're happy in your job, too."

"I'm sure I will be."

"But once we have kids, I'm not staying in the field. Rene says he can't wait to get back out there, but I've seen what it did to you and your brothers when your mom was taken hostage. It wouldn't be fair to you, and I'd never feel content doing it."

"Let's just cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, we'll just make reservations at that place in Fredericksburg again and think up some other fun things to do while we're here in Texas."

"You haven't seen the country around Kerrville. The rivers around there are beautiful. We could drive there easily from that hotel."

"You'll have to take me."

When she smiled up at Matt, he responded by touching his lips to hers.

"Would you two get a room?"

At the sound of his sister's voice, Matt and Sarah pulled apart, but he recovered quickly from his surprise and shot back, "Lauren, that's just the problem. We have a room, but no privacy."

"Yeah, and with Grandma and Grandpa in the room across the way this weekend, I'm sure it puts a damper on things." Lauren laughed at her own humor.

Remembering Lauren's interruption from the previous week, Matt and Sarah exchanged grins, but did not say anything as they followed her back into the house.

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"They seem happy, don't you think?" Amanda watched for Lee's reaction.

The phone call with Matt and Sarah had not been long, but it had told him enough. "Yes, I do. I think this will be good for them." Lee picked up his coffee mug and took a sip.

Amanda regarded her husband a moment and turned back to arranging the deli meat and cheese on the tray. It would only be a short time before Phillip and Jamie and their families arrived for their bi-weekly family time. The Sunday lunches had not been the same without Matt and Sarah, but Amanda had to agree with her husband—their youngest and her husband needed some time in a less stressful environment. And they needed time alone together.

"I'm glad they have some nice weekends planned. They hardly had any time alone together for months. That's hard on a couple."

"If anyone would know that, it would be us." Lee stepped up behind Amanda and slipped his hands around her waist. He leaned around and kissed her cheek.

Amanda chuckled at the memory. "And when we finally were together every night, we were living in a houseful of people. You just about went nuts."

"Ah, but Amanda, it was much better than being in my apartment without you. And you know how I came to love your mother—I already loved the boys."

"Still, the cabin was a nice place to get away."

"It still is. All alone in the woods with my wife…" He nuzzled her neck playfully and she swatted at him.

"The kids will be here any minute."

Moving away so Amanda could work, Lee was quiet for a moment before venturing, "Amanda, I should tell you I asked Gil to let them stay there for a little while. I thought it would be good for Matt—probably Sarah, too."

Now Amanda turned around to face Lee. "Oh?"

"Yeah. The kid was just about burned out. You saw how he was at the hospital with Sarah. We talked after she had come home. He was not doing well. I'm sure her time in New York didn't help his state of mind, either. He was blaming himself, piling on the guilt…"

"…sounding like someone I know very well—at least that's how he was back in the day." Amanda wrapped her arms around Lee. "You did the right thing, sweetheart."

"Well, you've taught me a thing or two. It's not the first time I've reassigned someone temporarily—or suggested it, anyway."

"Yes, but in this case it was your son-in-law—and we both know you did it out of concern for him. You've really developed a big soft spot for Matt over the last year." Amanda gave Lee a kiss on the cheek. "One more reason for me to love you, Scarecrow."

"Aww, Amanda." Lee moved to hug her back, but the doorbell rang. He glanced at the door, and then back at Amanda before going to answer it. "It won't be for long. They'll be home before the end of summer, and then we'll get to see both of them all the time."

"That's right." Amanda smiled to herself as she listened to Lee enthusiastically greet their family out in the foyer. In a month or two they would be back to having all three of their children's families gathering together. For the first time in a long time, Amanda felt a sense of peace. All she wanted for her children was good health and happiness, and it finally seemed that would become a reality for all three of them. With a pang, she remembered the baby Sarah had lost, but that feeling of hurt was soon followed by a feeling of hope and assurance that there would be more grandbabies someday. For now she could enjoy Phillip and Jamie's children.

Reaching for a towel, she had just finished wiping her hands when a pair of slender arms encircled her waist.

"Hi, Grandma!" Jessica chirped. "I couldn't wait to see you today."

"Me, too, Jessica." Amanda smiled and hugged her granddaughter tightly to her. Life was good, and she intended to enjoy it.


	15. Chapter 15

Written by Scooplet

Concept by Cheryl and Scooplet

Scarecrow and Mrs. King characters are the property of Shoot the Moon Productions and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement intended. Not for commercial use. Sarah Stetson and Matt Granger are my creation, however, so please respect my right to claim ownership of them—I do not authorize permission to use them in stories not authored by me. Music lyrics from "His Eye is on the Sparrow" by Civilla D. Martin.

I Know He Watches Me, Part Three

Epilogue:

 _June 2015_

It was always a relief to turn off the busy thoroughfare and into his quiet neighborhood—today was no exception. Battling jet lag and a weeklong lack of sleep, Matt was ready to be home.

Home. He smiled to himself. At one point during their first several months of marriage, with Sarah transferred to New York, they had not been sure where or how they could make a home together work.

He shook aside that memory and recalled a more recent one of him and Sarah relaxing together on the couch, watching a movie two nights before he had left for his trip. As the credits rolled, he aimed the remote at the TV and turned it off. Feeling amorous, he turned to his wife, only to find that she was sleeping peacefully. It had become common for Sarah to drift off during movies recently, but often he could wake her up and get her in the mood with a few kisses. However this time, he had lifted her into his arms and carried her to their bed. She had been unusually tired that day, and he knew she had needed the sleep. She had barely stirred when he had tucked her into bed. He wondered if she would be just as tired after holding down the fort during his five days away.

He turned onto their street and noted that her Volvo was in the driveway, parked to one side so he could pull past it into their one-car garage. He had always given her the garage at the townhouse, but now, with a detached garage, Sarah found it easier to get to her car if it was on the driveway. They were saving to add onto the garage and connect it via a covered walkway to the house, but that was several months away.

For now, Sarah was scrimping to maintain what she called the "beautification" fund. Already it had supplied plants for a few garden beds and a two-person rocker for the front porch of their Craftsman-style home. And from the looks of it, it had provided for the purchase of a few plants that now hung above the railing.

He parked in the garage and pulled his suitcase and carry-on bag from the trunk of his car. After closing the garage door, he was turning to the house when he heard the happy squeal.

"Da da! Da da!" His wife had in her arms a nine-month-old baby boy, blonde and sturdily built, who was stretching out his arms and kicking his legs, eager to get to Matt.

"Yes, Will. Daddy's here." Sarah sounded almost as excited as their son.

"Hello, you two!" Matt was just as thrilled to see his little family. As they met on the path below the back porch, Matt dropped his bags and wrapped his arms around Sarah and the baby. He could feel Will squirming in Sarah's arms as he kissed his wife.

"Come here, little man." Enjoying the scent of his freshly bathed baby boy, Matt kissed Will on his chubby cheek before lifting his son high above his head.

Will squealed happily as his father pulled him in close again.

Sarah kissed Matt a second time. "I know you weren't gone that long this time, but it's always so nice to have you home." She reached up and smoothed his hair. She poked a gentle finger at Will's stomach, eliciting a chuckle from him.

Will focused intently on Sarah. "Ma ma."

"That's right, Will. There's your pretty mama." Matt looked at Sarah, a proud grin spreading across his face. "He's really saying our names now."

"My dad's afraid he's inherited the West ramble."

It was Matt's turn to chuckle. "I know. When I teleconferenced with your dad yesterday to give him a quick debriefing, he pretended to complain about it."

Despite Matt's lightheartedness, Sarah was concerned. "Oh. I hope Daddy doesn't mind Will's chatter too much. I brought him with me when I worked over there this week. We stayed in the living room." With Sarah and Matt now working for their consulting firm, Lee and Amanda had moved their home office to the apartment above the garage. Replaced by desks and office equipment, the bedroom furniture now sat in Sarah and Matt's guest room, and the Grangers used the old breakfast table from Dotty's apartment in their kitchen.

"You told me. Jessica had some kind of camp, so she couldn't babysit. But I wouldn't worry about your dad and our talkative little guy. Before he left Farnsworth Manor, your dad was bragging about Will's latest. He told everyone Will tries to say Grandma and Grandpa, but it comes out sounding like 'Ga Pa' or 'Ga Ma.'"

Sarah relaxed a little and a half smile appeared on her face. "Will is pretty amazing, but it's still just baby-babble—he's not quite been able to say their names yet. Daddy acts as if he's never had grandkids before."

As if on cue, Will whined a little and stiffened in Matt's arms.

"Well, he either wants to eat or he's ready to get moving again."

"Probably both. Let's go inside." When Sarah reached for Matt's bags, he stopped her. "Hey! The suitcase is heavy. Let me get that."

Despite Will's protests, Sarah took him from her husband. "Did you see my latest acquisition? Hanging ferns."

"They look nice. We can hide behind them and neck in the rocker after Junior is in bed." When Sarah rolled her eyes, Matt chuckled, picked up his bags, and followed her into the house.

"They were very much in vogue when these houses were built. I thought it would be neat to hang a few out front. I can put them in the living room or the office in winter, so they won't die."

"That's great—practical and nice looking at the same time." Matt was not surprised that Sarah chose yet another decoration with historical significance for their home.

Once they were in the kitchen, she set Will in his jumper and immediately he bounced over to Matt and grabbed his trouser leg. Matt responded by squatting down and ruffling Will's downy hair. When Will brought the fabric of the pants near his mouth to suck on it, Matt moved his hand in the way. Will made a frustrated grunt.

Matt wrinkled his forehead and glanced up at Sarah. "Still teething?"

"No. He's stopped for the moment. But you know how babies put everything in their mouths." She watched as Matt distracted Will with one of his teething rings.

"You'd think he'd be exhausted after our play date with Patti and Rosie Enriques."

"Did you all have a good time?"

Sarah set out the placemats and silverware. "Of course. Your son still loves to watch Rosie toddle all over."

Matt grinned at Will as he bounced distractedly and sucked on the teething ring. "We'll need to have another one of our own before long so Will can have a playmate at home, too."

Sarah did not respond as she watched the baby idly for a moment. Then she abruptly changed the subject. "I hope you don't mind living in this old house."

"Of course not. It's our home, now—not just a house." Matt wondered at her sudden concern about the house. He stood and went to her. With Will occupied, he could now embrace his wife the way he had been longing to do. He pressed his cheek against her hair. "Besides, how could I say no when my history buff was clearly in love with the place?"

"I had to call the plumber again yesterday."

"Okay." Matt held his breath. One of the downsides of traveling frequently as an intelligence consultant working for Lee and Amanda was that Sarah was forced to hire repairmen for jobs Matt would have liked to have done himself. Plumbers were usually not cheap.

"But the guy remembered me from last time and told me what to do over the phone. He keeps saying that the people who renovated the house did a fine job. He was really helpful."

"Hey, that worked out well." Matt pulled away just far enough to see in her face and gave her a wry smile. "Does our repairman have a crush on my wife?"

Swatting him, Sarah tried to pull away, but Matt held her tight. She placed her hands on his chest. "I told you he's a grandpa. He loves Will, and he keeps hoping to meet you. Mr. Connors is a nice man. Daddy and Mom call him for their repairs."

Chuckling a little, Matt replied, "I know." He kissed her cheek and Will squealed.

"Da da. Ma ma."

Matt bent to kiss Will on the forehead. "No one's leaving you out, little man." He stood and stretched. "I'll go change my clothes. I can play with Will while you finish dinner."

"It's all done—I just have to put the salad together and get Will's food ready. But you can play with Will and give him a bottle after dinner while I clean up and do a couple of things in the kitchen. He's already had his bath."

"It's a deal."

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Sarah rinsed the baking dish and set it in the dish drainer. After wiping the counter one last time, she turned off the kitchen lights and went out to the living room. What she saw made her smile with contentment.

Matt lay sprawled on the couch, sound asleep. He held one arm protectively around Will, who lay face down on Matt's chest. He, too, was slumbering peacefully. Her heart full, she watched the two of them for a moment. Although some of the relatives had seen a resemblance between Will and her father, Sarah thought he looked much more like Matt. Particularly at times like this. They were both wearing shorts and t-shirts as pajamas—although Will's pajamas had tiny pale blue elephants printed on them and Matt's shirt was grey with maroon letters spelling out Texas A&M University. Matt had taken a quick shower earlier, so she knew they both smelled like soap and shampoo. When Sarah tried to move Matt's arm so she could carry Will upstairs to his crib, Matt held him more tightly, his eyelids fluttering open. Even in his sleep, Matt's reflexes did not seem to take a rest.

His voice was groggy. "Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay," Sarah whispered. Now Matt let her lift the sleeping Will from his chest. "Just stay there."

Will was heavy in her arms, and his cheek was pink where it had been resting on Matt's chest. There was a damp spot on Matt's shirt where Will had drooled a little. Usually a sound sleeper, their baby barely stirred as Sarah settled him on her shoulder. He smelled as sweet as she had imagined, and she loved the downy feel of his baby hair against her cheek.

After settling Will in his crib and turning on the monitor, she changed into a tank top and pajama bottoms, brushed her teeth, and padded barefoot back down the stairs to the living room. Even after she took the empty baby bottle to the kitchen and rinsed it, Matt had not stirred. It was better for Matt to get his rest now. Will would most likely sleep through the night, but he was usually up early. While they worked out, he would bounce in the jumper they had hung in the weight room or play in his portable crib.

After turning on a side table lamp, Sarah pulled out a book and made herself comfortable in her favorite armchair.

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

Two hours later, Sarah was calling Matt's name, her hand on his shoulder. Groggy and disoriented, he roused himself. She insisted on following him up the stairs after setting the alarm and turning off the lights.

"I'm not going to fall down the stairs."

"I'm just worried you'll curl up on the landing and not make it to bed."

"I have good reason to come to bed. You'll be there." He attempted to waggle his eyebrows, but a yawn nearly split his face in two.

Sarah laughed. "Sure thing, lover boy."

He let her pass him at the top of the stairs and gently swatted her behind. "You'll see. I'll be wide awake in a few minutes. Gotta make hay while the son sleeps." He grinned at her again.

Sarah muttered something under her breath about a ship sailing, but he did not quite make out all the words. He was about to challenge that comment, but she had opened Will's door to check on him. He followed her in and draped an arm around her shoulders. They stared down at their baby boy together. Will lay on his back, his arms thrown out to his sides. The blanket Sarah had covered him with earlier was still in place. He had been sleeping soundly.

Once out in the hall, he murmured, "Pretty amazing, isn't it, that we made that little guy with some help from above?"

Sarah did not answer right away. She smiled softly and wrapped an arm around his waist. They stopped outside their bathroom and Matt watched her face. She began to move away, but he caught her hand.

"Is something on your mind, sweetie?" Matt wondered if Sarah was thinking about the little one they had lost. Every April, around the anniversary of the miscarriage, and every October, the time of year when their first baby would have been born, they would go out to the cabin and hold an informal prayer time to remember their first child. While as a family they went to the cabin in between times and stayed overnight, this spring they had waited a few extra weeks so Sarah could wean Will and leave him with her parents. It had been their first time away from him overnight, and they had both missed him. But they had still managed to have a romantic time together. Except for their remembrance time. Yet even that had not been as difficult as it had in the past. Time was softening the pain.

Matt found that Sarah was watching him. She had yet to answer his question. He pulled her to him and kissed her. Sometime while he had been sleeping, she had changed into her pajamas. As their kiss deepened, he ran his hand over the soft material and slipped it beneath the fabric, enjoying the smoothness of her skin.

Instead of relaxing in his arms and letting things follow their usual course, Sarah stiffened a little. "Matt, wait. There's something I want to tell you."

"Let's wait until later. I've missed lying in bed and talking with you before going to sleep—and I have something to discuss with you, too." He pulled away and took her hands. "Margaret told me we should try to bring Will sometime soon. She has a project for you."

"I think they want to meet him—Lee Stetson's wonder-grandchild."

"That, too." Matt smiled. "Margaret said she would make sure there was a good nanny to watch Will when we couldn't. She talked about staying for a few weeks."

"We need to find a new nanny for when Jessica goes back to school. We could time it for the end of the summer—maybe this time we could take a side trip to Florence." Before Matt had begun working for her parents and before Will had been born, Sarah had accompanied Matt to Farnsworth Manor on Agency business. But they had managed to fit in a side trip to France and Belgium. At the time they had dreamed of going to Italy. Perhaps they could now manage it.

His eyebrows shot up. "Hmm. I like the way you think. We could work in a trip to Cinqueterre—and go to Lake Como, too."

She kissed Matt's cheek and breathed in his ear, "Here we are talking, and I thought you wanted to do something else."

He grinned. "Oh, so you are in the mood."

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

Sometime later, they lay in their bad facing each other, Matt running his hand along her arm and Sarah slowly tracing circles in his chest hair.

"I suppose we should go to sleep. I'll tell you about Margaret's plan tomorrow." Matt yawned.

"I just want to show you something." Sarah leaned over and kissed his chest. She moved to get out of bed and Matt tried to stop her. "I'll be right back." When she kissed his chest again, he let her go. Her pajamas were draped on a chair near the bed, but now she was pulling on one of his old t-shirts. Matt could not quite understand the fascination Sarah had with wearing his shirts to bed, but he did not mind seeing her in them.

When she glanced back at the bed to see his reaction, he was watching her. "You know that thing just makes you look more sexy, right?" Sarah's long legs seemed to go on forever.

She smiled at him and swiveled her hips a little as she went into the bathroom. As he pulled on his pajamas and climbed back under the covers, he heard a drawer open and shut, the rustle of a plastic wrapper, and Sarah came back out. She climbed back under the covers, but did not snuggle up with him.

When Matt moved to turn off the lamp on his side of the bed, Sarah stopped him.

"No. Wait."

Matt propped himself up on his elbow and watched her curiously. "Is this when you finally tell me what's on your mind?"

"Yes." She glanced down and took a deep breath. "You remember last month, when we stayed over at the cabin?"

"Yeah…" Matt wracked his brain. Nothing of concern came to mind. It had been a great weekend.

"You know how I hadn't started back on the pill, so we…"

"Yeah." They had taken a chance or two that weekend. Earlier, Matt had been surprised and rather relieved when Sarah had told him they would not need to use anything. He had assumed she had begun taking her pills again, but he had been too distracted to question her about it.

"I guess they're right when they say it only takes one time." Sarah held up a pregnancy test that had been hidden behind her back.

Matt stared blindly at the line in the indicator window. He had seen that line twice before. The first time, a surprise, they had lost the baby and Sarah had nearly died during the miscarriage. The second time, they had been trying to get pregnant. After nine months of sweet anticipation and understandable worry, Sarah had given birth to the healthy baby boy sleeping in the next room. Now Matt's heart raced and he broke out in a cold sweat, but he did his best to sound excited. "Wow. A baby brother or sister for little Will."

Sarah put the test down on the side table, turned off the light, and lay down facing Matt. "Honey, you don't have to pretend to be excited. It's a shock. And I know you're stressed out right now. I should have told you earlier—or waited until tomorrow morning."

He reached out and smoothed the hair away from Sarah's face. Her eyes were shining in the faint glow that came from the night light in their bathroom. He loved the way her eyes did that. Trying to find something encouraging to say, he offered, "We'll have a beautiful baby."

"That's not all you're thinking."

He sucked in his breath. "Okay. It's not. My first reaction had PTSD written all over it."

Sarah laughed a little. "Sorry. I know it's not funny, but that's pretty much what I did. I wasn't worried about my period being really late—I hadn't expected to be back on schedule—so I sort of freaked out when the test was positive."

Matt had known she was late, but Sarah's doctor had said that was normal. Now Sarah's fatigue was making sense. She had been showing the early signs of pregnancy before he had left for England. "What made you decide to get the test?"

"I threw up yesterday morning. I was running late, so I decided to bring something and eat at Mom and Daddy's. Bad idea to wait. At least I hadn't left the house yet."

"Oh, sweetie." Matt's voice was laced with concern.

"I'll be okay. I didn't tell my parents. They figured I was late to their house because of Will. I picked up some crackers and other stuff at the grocery store when I got the test, just in case."

Sarah had struggled with morning sickness during her two previous pregnancies. At least it was a good sign that things were normal. Matt drew in a breath. Morning sickness Matt could handle. He knew how to help Sarah. But things could go wrong. Not wanting to bring up his fears, he scooted closer to Sarah and wrapped an arm around her. "You're going to be a mama again, beloved." As he kissed her, he allowed his hand to slip under the t-shirt and rest on her abdomen. "How far along do you think you are?"

Sarah placed her hand atop Matt's. "Well, I said it probably happened at the cabin, but I'm not sure. Maybe six weeks. I'm guessing he or she would be due around the middle of February."

"A late birthday present for you." Matt smiled now. "I meant what I said. We'll have a beautiful baby."

"Of course we will." She watched his face, now visible in the faint glow from the nightlight in the bathroom. "Are you upset? You can tell me."

Taking a deep breath, Matt hesitated only briefly. "There's a couple of things. I know everything went well with Will. But I can't help but worry about you. Pregnancy has risks…"

"…and I'm higher risk than other women because of my first pregnancy." She caressed his face. "I have an appointment with Dr. Elliott next week. You should come, too."

"Of course I will." He placed his hand over hers. "The other thing is—I feel foolish. Everyone will know we weren't being careful. Most people wait at least two years between kids."

"And there are plenty of siblings who are less than two years apart. Will and this baby will grow up doing everything together. They'll be close. I had friends in high school who were like that. They're still close, from what I've heard." She patted his hand, which still rested on her abdomen. "Besides, what's done is done. We wanted more than one child—maybe four."

Matt tensed. "One baby at a time, okay? Maybe we could wait a few years before we decide on having more than two."

"That's a good idea. I'll plan to go back on the pill sooner next time." Sarah yawned and stretched. "If I'm sleepy, you must be dog-tired."

"We both need to rest."

"Good night, my love."

"Good night, beloved."

Sighing, Sarah leaned her head towards Matt and let it rest against his shoulder. She was relaxed now, and he knew she would be asleep quickly. However, he was wide awake.

He could not deny that he was frightened of what lay ahead for Sarah. Despite Dr. Elliott's assurances and the normal progress of Sarah's pregnancy with Will, Matt had been fearful of Sarah hemorrhaging again or of something happening to their baby—or both. He remembered how seeing Will on the ultrasound for the first time had helped allay his fears.

 _Dr. Elliott had been brisk at first, just as she had when she had listened for Will's heartbeat. Matt had learned that the doctor's first order of business at each appointment was to check the baby's progress. After that, she would noticeably relax. He felt the same way. She even seemed excited when a hazy black and white image materialized on the ultrasound's screen._

" _Okay. Your baby is coming along just fine." Dr. Elliott took some measurements of the image. Matt remembered peering at the screen. Their baby looked like no more than a blur. Then he saw a pair of eyes and a small arm. Sarah must have seen them at the same time, because she had gripped Matt's hand. When he had glanced down at her, there had been tears in her eyes. He had kissed her forehead quickly and looked back at the screen._

 _Pointing at their baby's arms and legs, Dr. Elliott had continued to reassure them that little Will, at only eight weeks' gestation, was developing normally. After checking around some more with the ultrasound, Dr. Elliott had declared that everything looked just fine._

 _For Matt, it was more than fine. Any fear he held about Sarah miscarrying had been set aside that day as they absorbed the wonder of new life growing inside of her. Matt could remember staring at the photo the doctor had placed in his hands—they had not seen their first baby at that stage of development—and memorizing every blurry detail._

The small life growing inside of Sarah right now would soon look much the same, if she had guessed correctly and they had conceived their little one back in early May. Carefully, so as not to wake Sarah, he craned his neck to look at her abdomen. But her head was still resting on his shoulder and he could not get a good look. He remembered how already her stomach had felt firm under his hand when he had touched her earlier.

Soon—in perhaps less than a month—she would be showing. Sarah had been so beautiful, even in the last stages of her pregnancy, when her feet had hurt and she had been up and down all night long. Her swollen belly had looked so very round in comparison to her slim arms and legs. At night in bed, Matt would spoon himself against her back. After he placed his hand on her abdomen, she would guide it around until he could feel the baby kicking. In a few months, he would feel this new baby kicking.

Matt wondered how Will would react to the baby. He would be only about seventeen months old when the baby was born—still a baby himself. Perhaps they had been selfish by not being careful, but it was too late to worry about that. Hopefully Will would be thrilled at having a playmate close in age. It would be difficult to have two little ones to worry about—at least for a time. Then they would keep each other company.

As long as everything went well with this pregnancy. Matt sent up a fervent prayer. _O Lord, please protect my wife and this little one._ Unbidden, the old image reared its ugly head. Sarah was crouched in the shower, bleeding uncontrollably. Memories of panic and despair flooded Matt's consciousness, and he shuddered in response, causing Sarah to stir. Turning all the way onto her side, she moved her head to her pillow. Running his hand along her arm, he felt her relax once again and her breathing slowed.

The action had brought him out of his flashback, and Matt desperately searched for a happy memory to replace it, just as he had practiced over and over again during the last three years. He landed on one and smiled.

 _September 2014_

It was a warm day, with a hint of autumn in the air. The leaves on the trees were still green, but the color had dulled with the September weather. The grass needed mowing, and despite being nine months pregnant with less than a week until her due date, Sarah had insisted upon pulling the few weeds that had popped up in the front garden bed. Recognizing Sarah's nesting urge, he had humored her and dug up some weeds alongside of her. He remembered being thankful that since they had just moved in that summer and had been busy readying the nursery, there had been no time to landscape the backyard. There was just a simple lawn to mow and a few garden beds in the front yard.

"Uh, Matt? Could you please help me up?"

He smiled at her sheepish expression. Sarah had remained fit, exercising throughout the pregnancy, but during the last few weeks, she had found it hard to maneuver at times.

"I don't know," he teased. "You insisted on getting down on all fours to weed under that tree, even though I said you should take it easy today." He walked over and pointed. "Didn't you miss one?"

He felt the swat on his calf and turned around to see her mock glare. Then he had stooped down, lifting her to her feet while she attempted to help with the effort. Before he moved away, he caught a grimace on her face. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey. You okay?"

Taking a breath, Sarah placed a hand on her belly and smiled up at him. "Sure. Just another one of those Braxton Hicks contractions. Do you want some iced tea before you start mowing?"

Reassured by her cheerful expression, he relaxed. "That would be great. Thanks." He looked around at the front yard. Flowers still bloomed below the front porch and around the small tree near the driveway. A few shade plants were attempting to take hold under the large oak tree that stood between the house and the street. In a few months the plants would lie dormant under the bare branches of the old tree, and the flowers would be gone for that year, but Sarah had been pleased with their yard and he had been proud of what she had done in such a short time.

Sarah had just reached the top step of the porch. Matt wondered briefly at her slow movement, but since she had not taken his joke as well as he had hoped, he was more intent on smoothing over the offense.

He called out to her, "You know, honey, the yard looks so nice. You've done a great job."

She stopped and surveyed the yard, then glanced over her shoulder. "I guess so. Do you think we've done enough with the inside? With the baby coming, we won't be able to get much else done for a while."

Matt bit his tongue. He was tempted to remind Sarah that the doctor had warned her about overdoing it. Not only had they, with the help of family members and Rene, painted the entire interior of the house, but Sarah had made curtains for the bedrooms with her mother's help. And she had not taken time off from her job—she had worked full-time at the Agency up until one week ago.

As if reading his mind, Sarah moved to come back down the steps, concern on her face. He jogged up the steps to her instead and she reached out to hug him when he came near.

"I'm sorry, Matt. You've been so good not to fuss over me these last several months. I know it's been hard for you. You've been so good about all the house projects."

"You've done a beautiful job with the house. It's really a home, now." He bent his head and kissed her hair. It was warm from the sun and smelled faintly of roses. It would not be long before Sarah finally ran out of her rose-scented shampoo, but for now, he was still enjoying the scent.

After they hugged, Sarah went inside to get them both some iced tea. Eager to get the mowing out of the way, he guzzled half of his iced tea without stopping, but she had sat on the porch steps for a little while, sipping from her glass and idly watching Matt as he began mowing the front yard. By the time he was ready to take the lawnmower to the backyard, she had disappeared inside.

About an hour later, Matt was winding up the electrical cord from the blower. The humidity had made him particularly sticky that day, and Matt, now covered with a layer of dust from the trimming and blowing, was eager to get inside and take a shower. He knew Sarah would be starting dinner soon, but he was too dirty to help in the kitchen. Closing up the garage, he went around to the front of the house to pick up the empty glass he had left there, but Sarah had already brought it inside. He took off his shoes and socks and carried them into the house.

He hollered in the direction of the kitchen as he went straight to the stairs, careful not to track grass on the clean floors. "I'll be there to help in a little bit. I'm going to grab a shower."

Matt heard a muffled reply from the kitchen as he trudged upstairs.

Fifteen minutes later, dressed in clean shorts and a t-shirt with his hair damp and his feet still bare, Matt padded into the kitchen. What he saw made his blood run cold.

Sarah was clutching the counter, her face grimaced in pain.

"What's wrong?" Matt ran to her side, but as soon as he reached her, she let go of the counter. He put his arms around her and she leaned heavily against him. "Honey, tell me what's going on."

"I made you a sandwich and put some of those blackberries in a snack bag. There are tortilla chips, too." She gestured tiredly to the small cooler that sat on the counter. "I didn't have time to get a water. You should get a couple of waters. It could take a while."

It took him a moment to process her words and what they really meant. "Oh God. Sarah, you're in labor." He pulled back and searched her face. "How far apart are the contractions?"

"About five to seven minutes. We should go. They were farther apart when you turned off the blower."

"Sweetie, you should have told me." Matt wished he could have swallowed the words. He knew he was right, but there was no point in berating his wife while she was in pain.

However, she was staring at his bare feet. "You need shoes. And your keys. And your wallet." After a moment, she added, "And that bag with all my stuff. I left it at the top of the stairs after I showered."

While he had been outside, obliviously cleaning up the yard, Sarah had been showering, going up and down the stairs by herself, and making his dinner. And she might be giving birth in just a few hours.

Then it finally hit him. Sarah was going to have their baby. Tonight. This was not some vague event occurring on some future date.

Suddenly Matt was galvanized to action. He had commanded men in the army and run operations at the Agency. He should be able to get his wife to the hospital before she delivered their baby on the kitchen floor. He pulled a chair out from the table and took her arm. "Honey, sit down."

"It hurts to sit." It was obvious Sarah was trying to keep the whimper out of her voice.

Matt took a breath, forcing himself to stay calm. He sent up a quick appeal to God. "Okay. Hang onto the counter and I'll be right back. I'll put my shoes on down here. I just need to go get them."

"I'll call the doctor while you're upstairs."

Practically flying up the stairs, Matt ran into their walk-in closet and wildly grabbed a pair of jeans from the drawer. Quickly changing out of his shorts, he found his boating shoes, stuffed his wallet and keys in his pockets, and ran back downstairs, gathering up Sarah's bag along the way.

When he reached the kitchen, Sarah was placing two water bottles in the cooler with his food while she talked on the phone with the doctor's office.

"Okay. We'll be on our way in a minute." Sarah ended the call. "They said we should come now."

Suddenly Sarah grunted and bent at the hips. Matt reached for her and she grabbed his forearm. He winced in pain at her vicelike grip.

"Breathe, honey. Focus on something and breathe."

Sarah started making the puffing sounds she had learned in their class. There was no doubt she was still in pain, but her grip relaxed a little. Perhaps the breathing technique really did work.

It was almost a minute before the contraction ended.

Matt guessed she had used his feet as a focal point, because she had stared at them for the entire contraction. But all she said was, "You're still barefoot."

"I have my shoes." He quickly slipped them on. "We're taking your car, since it has the baby seat."

"Okay. But I still think you should come home and sleep if the baby comes early enough."

He started to protest and thought better of it. He had stayed the night at the hospital with Sarah before and he planned to do it again. However, he was not going to argue with her about it. There would be time to discuss all that later.

"Is the front door locked?"

"Yeah." Just to be certain, Matt craned his neck so he could get a look at the front door from the kitchen. The deadbolt was secured.

"I closed all the windows and locked them. And I texted my parents while you were upstairs. I'll text your parents while we're in the car." Matt still marveled at his wife's ability to stick to their "labor plan" once labor had actually started. She had even made him a meal.

Once she sent the text to his parents, she spent the drive to the hospital alternating between breathing through contractions and leaning back in the seat and closing her eyes. To Matt, the trip there seemed interminable, but finally they pulled into the hospital parking lot. Once she was settled in labor and delivery, Sarah even managed to fall asleep for a few minutes between some of the contractions.

Lee and Amanda slipped into the room during one of those naps.

"How can she be asleep right now?" Lee whispered incredulously.

"She wasn't sleeping well the last couple of weeks," Matt whispered in return. "And you know how she was cleaning everything."

Lee's expression softened as he watched her. "I guess it caught up with her."

Taking his hand, Amanda murmured in Lee's ear, but Matt just caught the words. "She looks so young right now. If she didn't have that round tummy, I'd think she was still our little girl."

Gazing at the peaceful expression that had settled on his wife's face, Matt felt some of the anxiety leave him. Unlike the other times he had seen her in a hospital bed, this time she was healthy, and she was preparing to deliver their baby.

However, while the contractions had slowed for the first hour they had been at the hospital, they had not stopped altogether. Sarah awakened to another contraction and Matt was at her side, helping her breathe through it. He had been vaguely aware of Amanda pulling Lee from the room as soon as it had started. She came back into the room several times to check on Sarah as the labor progressed, but Lee stayed out in the waiting area.

Soon the contractions were coming fast and furiously. Matt, who would normally pay close attention to details, had found that night that he was far too concerned with Sarah to notice or remember everything that was going on around them once the hard labor had started, but there were plenty of things he did remember. The nurse, a matronly woman named Mae, who had been in and out of the room at first, did not leave. Mae busied herself setting up various pieces of equipment and readying what looked like drapes and an instrument tray. Dr. Elliott arrived and greeted them briefly, but she left the room to change into her scrubs.

Mae was chatting in a friendly manner. "So, I saw on the chart that you wanted to be surprised."

After staring at the nurse blankly for a moment, Matt comprehended her remark. "Oh, yeah. We don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl."

Smiling in understanding, Mae was cheerful. "Well, you'll find out soon enough."

Mae was checking Sarah again a little while later when Matt glanced up at the clock and was shocked to realize that it was already after nine o'clock. They had arrived at the hospital six hours earlier. However, he did not have to contemplate the passage of time any further as Sarah grasped his hand.

"I bet your hand is numb," she panted breathlessly.

"Don't worry about my hand." Matt's hand was indeed aching, but he was certain it was nothing compared to what Sarah was experiencing.

When she cried out, he wondered at the growing intensity of her pain. It had seemed that she was already in enough pain already. He glanced in alarm at first the monitor, and then the nurse, who patted Sarah's leg.

"Breathe, honey. It won't be much longer."

Matt must have missed Mae's communication with Dr. Elliott, who was rolling a stool over to the end of the bed.

"Let's get her feet in the stirrups and ready that pan." Dr. Elliott turned to Sarah and Matt. "We're going to break your water, Sarah. Normally it breaks on its own, and the baby descends into the canal more easily. This should help you get closer to pushing."

The news had worried Matt. During a recent appointment, Dr. Elliott had mentioned a few complications for delivery, and the baby not descending was one of them. That had been part of the issue when she had miscarried, and it had led to her hemorrhaging. The pain had been intense then, too.

As if sensing his worry, Sarah whispered to him, "Sparrow."

Smiling at Sarah in reassurance, Matt sent up a quick prayer as the obstetrician broke Sarah's water. Clear fluid gushed out and Sarah's abdomen spasmed into another fierce contraction. He breathed with Sarah, keeping an eye on the doctor as she examined Sarah once again.

He was relieved to see a satisfied smile on Dr. Elliott's face. "Everything looks great. Your little one should be coming along very soon. I'm going to step out to the nurses' station for just a few minutes."

Matt marveled at the team work between Mae and Dr. Elliott. Before Dr. Elliott had left the room, Mae had nearly finished replacing the soiled pads and drapes with new ones. She moved Sarah's feet out of the stirrups and gave them a quick rub through her socks. "Just relax now, honey. You need to rest between those contractions so you'll be ready to push."

Before Sarah could respond, another contraction came along. Amanda, who had slipped into the room, held Sarah's other hand until it subsided.

"How's Daddy?" she panted.

"Oh, he's fine."

"He hates hospitals." Her words were breathless.

Matt smoothed her hair and reached for the damp washcloth he had been using to wipe her face.

"He'll be fine. When you were born, he was doing all the things that Matt is doing here. The thrill of welcoming a baby helped him get over his fear of hospitals—at least temporarily."

"Still, I bet he hates the waiting room."

Amanda smiled and offered, "Dr. Elliott said it shouldn't be long. When you get close, I'll go sit with him."

"Good idea. I'd love to have you here, but he needs you more." Sarah began panting through another contraction. Less than a minute after that contraction, another one began.

After two more long contractions less than a minute apart, Amanda slipped from the room again and Dr. Elliott came back to examine Sarah.

"Okay, Sarah. This is it. Next time you're going to push. Mae and I will help you through it."

As Mae placed one of Sarah's feet in the stirrups again, Matt helped with the other. He kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear, "Sparrow."

Sarah could only respond with a nod as another contraction came. She pushed when Mae told her to push, grunting with the effort. She tried to rest her head against the pillow as the contraction ended, but another came right on top of it.

"It's okay, Sarah. Push again." Dr. Elliott was coaching Sarah now.

Twenty minutes later, Sarah was still pushing. Matt could see exhaustion overwhelming her as her body failed to give her a moment's rest. She had not complained the entire time they had been at the hospital, but he had seen tears in her eyes during the last few contractions and her grunting had changed to a cry with each push.

"I just want to close my eyes for a minute. I don't know if I can keep doing this," she wailed.

Matt found he was growing exhausted, too. With every fiber in his being he wanted to sympathize with Sarah and beg the doctor for a Caesarean section. But he knew that Dr. Elliott would only call for surgery if it was necessary—surgery held its own risks.

He knew he needed to say something positive to encourage Sarah, but he was out of ideas.

Thankfully Dr. Elliott spoke instead. "You can do this, Sarah." The doctor was firm, but rushed, trying to beat the next contraction. "Your baby's head will be out soon. You need to gather your strength and give it all you've got now."

Sarah looked at the doctor blankly for a moment, but then Matt saw determination in her eyes. She closed them tightly as the next contraction came and pushed once again. As she screamed through gritted teeth, his stomach clenched in response.

Mae caught Matt's attention and offered him a knowing look as she handed a suction bulb to the doctor. What he saw took his breath away. He knew from the labor and delivery class that their baby would be delivered when the next contraction came.

"Okay, Sarah. Here's the head. Just one more contraction should do it." Dr. Elliott glanced up at Sarah's face long enough to smile with her eyes before focusing her attention back on their baby.

The obstetrician had been right. At the next push, Sarah's grip on Matt's hand changed. She knew that her travails were over before it could even register with Matt that their baby had finally entered the world.

"It's a boy!" Dr. Elliott's pleasure could not possibly equal the thrill Matt felt coursing through his body as he saw his son in person for the first time.

Calming the squalling infant, Mae quickly swaddled him in a towel and placed the newborn on Sarah's chest. The new mother wrapped her arms, trembling with fatigue, around the little bundle. Instinctively, Matt drew close and helped her support their son.

"He's beautiful, beloved," he murmured in her ear.

Nodding in reply, Sarah glanced up at Matt. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears of joy.

Later, after Sarah and the baby had been moved from labor and delivery to the postpartum unit, Matt had a chance to hold his new son and really study him while Sarah dozed. What little hair he had was soft and light-colored, like Matt's newborn photos. In Matt's opinion, it was too soon to guess who their baby looked like, but Mae had insisted he had Matt's eyes and Sarah's mouth. Mae had also been happy to point out that the baby had Matt's build. His little hands were larger than the other newborns he had seen when he had followed their baby and the nurse into the nursery—he seemed bigger than the other babies. Matt tried not to think about how hard it had been for Sarah to deliver him. With some rest, she would be on her feet in no time, Dr. Elliott had assured them. Certainly the small form who slept in his arms seemed none the worse for wear. Matt's heart was brimming with love for this new life. He bent his head and kissed his son's forehead.

"Hey." Sarah's voice was slurred with exhaustion. "I guess I fell asleep."

Stepping over to the bed, Matt murmured, "You're entitled. I hope you get more of that sleep after your parents come back to see their new grandson again. They're on their way up from the cafeteria." He sat down next to her on the bed and kissed her hair, still rumpled from her exertions, and rested his head against hers. "Are you happy with the name we chose?"

"Of course." Even without seeing her face, he could sense her satisfied smile.

The door to the room pushed open, and Lee's face appeared. "Can we come in?" The deep timbre of his voice was hushed.

When Lee and Amanda were both inside the room and their hands washed, Matt held up the baby to them, and Sarah made their announcement. "Daddy and Mom, since things were rushed when you saw him the first time, I'd like to formally introduce," she paused for effect, "William Matthew Granger. We're calling him Will for short."

Amanda took the baby and cooed, "Aw, how nice. You honored Matt's grandfather. And of course, his daddy." She smiled over at Matt and back down at Will. 

It was Matt's turn to speak up. "Not exactly. He's named after two of his great grandfathers. William after my mom's father and Matthew for Matthew Stetson."

Lee, who had been leaning over Amanda's shoulder to get a better look at his sleeping grandson, glanced up in surprise. "Really?" His eyes narrowed, but his tone was light. "You're just humoring me. It's nice for a boy to have his father's name for a middle name."

"Well, that may be the case," Matt insisted, "But we'll always make sure he knows who he's really named after."

"Well, he certainly is a handsome little guy, just like his great grandfathers." Amanda was enraptured with her new grandchild.

"He's perfect," Lee's voice rumbled in her ear. He placed his hand on the baby's head and whispered, "Welcome to the world, little Will."

Glancing up at her husband, Amanda watched his face for a moment before handing the baby to him. He was silent as he took the newborn and stared down at him, examining his features as if he wanted to memorize what he looked like. Will sighed a little and opened his eyes briefly.

Matt could see that Sarah had not missed her father's expression. The man was clearly taken with his grandson. Her voice was soft as she offered, "The first Stetson grandchild, Daddy."

"Yeah." He looked up long enough to smile at his daughter. Matt thought he saw a single tear on the former operative's cheek. "I'm so proud of you, Pumpkin."

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

 _June 2015_

Matt was still smiling at the memories of little Will's birth and the hours afterward. He hoped he could remain this upbeat throughout this next pregnancy, but he knew that there would be moments of worry. Until Sarah was well into her second trimester, Matt would not really breathe easily. There was no question: he would not be traveling until he was assured of Sarah's and the baby's good health. Sarah needed more of his support at home for now—at least until the morning sickness passed. But he also knew that God had always protected his wife and would continue to protect her. Just as He watched over the little sparrows of the field, God watched over Matt's Sparrow.

He thought back to the first time they had met, over four years earlier. He had been somewhat afraid of the terrorists who were trailing him, but at that moment, he had been more afraid of what would happen if they had obtained the information he carried. Admittedly, that fear had not just been for his country's security, but also for his own hind end. Like all other freshmen agents, he had lived in fear of the section chief, Lee Stetson.

With all that stress, the downpour had been a godsend—he was fairly certain that the Lord had brought the rain to slow his pursuers. And the rain had caused the driver of the little Toyota to pull to the side of the road. Without that rain, he might never have met that driver, the woman now curled up against him in bed, the mother of his children, the lovely, sweet woman who was his wife.

For that reason, Matt thought as he found himself drifting into sleep, he would always thank the Lord for his wife and remember to entrust her to Him. His Sparrow.

 _I sing because I'm happy,_

 _I sing because I'm free_

 _For His eye is on the sparrow,_

 _And I know He watches me._


End file.
